Chapter 66

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Chapter 66

My hair was tightly wrapped up in a bun today. It wasn't just about my insecurity and all that bullshit that keeps me on edge. But it was also about keeping it out of my face today. Sweat would already be an annoying factor. After all, when Luke and I woke up at about 4:00a.m this morning and checked the weather, we knew we were in for a warm and terrible time. We would be working the whole time, digging and getting dirty. Yet... that was not at all a concern of mine. I didn't care about comfort in doing this. Because no matter if I don't sweat, don't work, it will still be incredibly uncomfortable. Mentally and emotionally. And when those two words come up for Albany Higgins, you know it will take a big fucking toll on me.

I wasn't sure if I was prepared for this or not. I understood fully what we were doing and accepted it. Accepted that today Luke and I would be digging up my half sister that was killed so many years back. I knew this would be added to the list of things that would be taking it's hit on me in the long run. The list that held such things like me killing people, the trauma of that mental hospital, the fear that came with everything about it too. This would hurt me. But it needed to be done finally. For finally bringing justice to my sister and, most important to our current situation, for needing this to put Clare away.

Luke was very anxious and worried this morning. However, I don't think it was over the emotional toll it was taking on him. With how he was watching me, looking at me with curious and scared eyes, I could see he was fearful of how this would affect me. Luke was very much aware of that list I had, of those things that are still hard for me to deal with. And he knew this would be a huge one. He even said so, just before we went into the garage to get in his dad's car and leave.

We were all set, ready to go. With Jack too, who we were taking to the station for the day (we got lucky some of the officers that were helping us agreed to keeping him in the back room of a station. Where nobody would find him; we didn't want to risk going over to Shannon's and dropping him off). We would be gone for a long while - all day and into the night so we needed Jack to be taken care of. That also meant bringing food, water bottles, extra shovels and tools too for us. Luke even made sure to bring his police belt, which he strapped around his waist; we didn't know if those people would come back or the monster itself (Clare). It was a very small chance because of the cops that will be in front of the house. But we needed to be as safe as we could with this.

He didn't wear his uniform with his belt. He was in jeans and a black muscle shirt I haven't seen him wear since last summer. It was called for today though - as was my black tank top I found of Jan's and my jeans I had before. Of course, that was for later. For now, we both had sweatshirts over it. Unfortunately, Luke suggested I remove my ring he gave me because we were going to get very dirty so I did. But I would never take off my necklace.

"Hey," he said in a soft voice from behind me as we were heading out towards the garage. We already had most of everything in the trunk. Now, it was just a few bags that we filled with a ton of food and what was even more water. Jack was following behind us, anxious to go for a ride. Upon Luke stopping me and grasping my arm with his free hand, I turned around to face him in the large hallway. His eyes were worried like they have been this whole morning. He finally voiced his issue that he has been quiet about this whole time. "I need to know something before we do this," he said in a gentle voice, one that matched his soft eyes.

I lowered my eyebrows, coming to fully face him now. I even set my bags I was holding on the floor and put my full attention on him because I knew this was a big deal, what he had to say. I stared up at him and waited as he too set his bag down and came to step forward, grasping my arms. "I didn't ask you. But are you okay doing this? And I mean seriously mentally capable of doing this?" he asked softly.

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