Fractured

Chapter 49

Chapter 49

When I wake up in the morning, it's usually by my alarm clock or Luke if he is up before the clock goes off.  This morning, I woke on my own about ten minutes before the clock goes off.  Moaning at how tired I felt, and laying there not wanting to get up after seeing the clock, I let my thoughts filter through my soon conscious self.  I was not in the mood for school.  Even more so, I wasn't in the mood to recall last night as I started to wake even more.  And with remembering that, it ended with me sitting up and looking down to where I recall Luke was sleeping on the floor. 

I sighed and stared down at him after flicking my lamp on.  It was too dim to bother the sleeping man on my floor.  But even though he was on the floor, he looked comfortable for the most part.  That didn't make me feel any better though about last night.  Sighing, I knew I was an ass.  I should have at least persisted he stay in the bed with me.

Gazing down to his figure on my floor, I noticed he was sleeping on his back for the most part.  Partially on his side too.  I looked down to his face as my eyes rolled along him... and his smooth eyelids blanketed with those long lashes.  His hair was muffled by the pillow he was resting on, his forehead under his messy hair was flat of any worry lines.  Such a nice sight... so gentle and calm.  He just looked very peaceful.  I knew that's not how I sent him off to bed though. 

I felt guilty over it, though I had a valid reason.  He still didn't do anything wrong. To be fair, neither of us really had.  Staring down at him, the sight made me feel worse about myself.  It was the middle of winter and he was sleeping on my cold floor.  Even if he looked comfortable and warm, it was still colder down there than in my bed.  The few blankets over him, covering up to his chin, showed how unnecessary it was when he could have slept with me.  God, why didn't I push for him to come back to bed with me? 

I groaned finally, and slid out of my warm bed where Jack was still sleeping (I was sure he was more snug than the poor dude on the floor).  My feet resting on the ground as I stood up, I slowly walked around his mass on my floor to his other side where he was just slightly facing.  Though I had only ten or 15 minutes before I needed to get ready, I wanted to do something.  I needed to with how things ended, no matter how sappy and shit that sounds.

I slowly knelt down on the floor, my knees hitting the thick blanket he laid down as his thin temporary mattress.  Biting my lip as I glanced to his sleeping figure, I slowly moved my hand forward and grasped the edge of the cover over him.  Moving it off him slightly, I lifted it just enough off him to create an opening for a person to curl up with him under the blankets too.  So with that, I laid the rest of the way down next to him and slid under the cover with him, pressing against him until it was over both of us.  I felt my body warm from the heat retained in the blankets - and his body since I was pressed against him now.  I wrapped an arm around him, resting my head against his chest and just under his chin, my eyes closing shut.

I stayed like that for a moment.  Feeling so much better against him... so warm and whole.  I just wanted to fall back asleep right here with him.  That was until I forced my eyes open, knowing I couldn't fall asleep with him.  Neither of us could.  It was one of those times I just wanted to say fuck the world and wrap myself around him and fall to sleep like this with him.  I knew though... it wasn't a 'fuck you world' kind of day; I was saving those days up.

To say the least, I needed to get him up for work.  I stared at his face, lit with shadows from the lamp casting light onto him.  Smiling at his smooth and calm expression... so beautiful...  I leaned up closer to his face.  Propping myself up on my elbow slightly, I bent down over him softly.  I cupped his cheek with the hand that was wrapped around him a second ago.