I Moved On, Why Don't You

Dreaming of Days Gone By

Jesse's pov

It's just a dream, I know it is, but it feels so real . . . like if I reach out; my fingertips would be able to brush his. My mind knows he's gone, but my heart refuses to let go, I can still hear his voice whispering in my ear; telling me not to be afraid, that he'll be there to save me soon. Why can't I let him go? Why can't I just accept that even if I manage to escape that nothing will be waiting for me now that he's dead? I let out a trembling sigh, fighting back tears once again . . . it's because I love him. Even if he's dead and gone, he still holds my heart and nothing short of the end of my own life will change that. I hear footsteps and struggle to pushed my weak body into a sitting position, relaxing when I hear the doctor's voice.

"Is he still refusing to eat?"

The voice that responds is too far away to hear a response, but from the sad sigh I hear next, I know that the answer was no. I close my eyes, listening to her footsteps coming closer and smile weakly when her hand brushes my shoulder.

"You have to eat, if not for you, for the pup."

"So that monster's pup can grow big and strong inside of me? So I can give birth to a child that looks like the man that I hate with every fiber of my being?"

"And you're willing to leave that innocent pup behind to suffer his wrath?"

"I . . . if . . . if I die, I'll take pup with me and we'll all be together, then no one will be able to tear us apart again."

"I didn't agree to help you so you would just give up, Jesse. I didn't agree to come here and watch over you just so you could end up dead on my watch."

"C-Come here? I don't______."

"I'm from the Silver Moon Pack, Jesse. I infiltrated this pack before you even arrived here in order to be in a place where I could watch over you and your mate."

"So you've been watching over us, huh? Then why is he dead? If you're supposed to be watching over us, why did you let him kill my mate . . . my pup? Why am I all alone?"

The nurse's mouth opened and closed several times, before she shook her head. I could tell she was hiding  something from me,  but for some reason instead of making me angry, my heart filled with hope.

"There's so much I want to explain, but this is not the time or place  . . . please, just eat and take care of your baby."

I nodded without replying and picked up the tray of food sitting on the bed beside me, slowly filling my stomach.

"Thank you, Jesse. I'll be back to check on you after the food settles in your stomach."

Nodding, I continued to eat, my mind and body growing excited for some unknown reason. After the food was gone, I sat the tray down, laying beside it on the bed and waiting for the nurse to return. Now that I was full, my eyes refused to stay open and I could feel myself falling asleep.

Nurse Sally's pov

As I sit on the couch in Alpha Kyle's living room, I have to force myself to conceal my excitement and nervousness. I'm glad the guard didn't question my story that Alpha Kyle sent me to check on Jesse, or I'd probably be on my way to be executed later today. Gathering myself, I make my way to the stairs and the guard quickly let me pass, I guess he's worried about my Luna too.

"Jesse, I'm coming down."

No response.

"Jesse?"

Still nothing. I hurry my pace and soon reach him, smiling softly when I see him curled up on his cot, one hand resting beside his face while the other is curled protectively around his stomach. Pressing my own hand gently against his stomach, I nodded happily at the strong heartbeat I felt
under my palm.

"Grow strong and thrive child of Alpha Chris and Luna Jesse."

Jesse stirred in his sleep and I quickly moved my hand, knowing if he caught me, I wouldn't be able to hide what I was thinking.

"D-Doctor?"

"I did a preliminary check and your child seems to be doing fine. I'm more concerned about you. Promise me that you'll continue eating the food they bring you."

Sudden tears filled his eyes and I put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I can't  . . . every time I try to eat or sleep, I end up thinking about him . . . and I just want to give up. I know if I keep going like this, I'll hurt my pup, but I want to be with my mate and it hurts so much . . . how do I make the pain stop? I don't want to feel like this anymore."

I held Jesse in my arms, holding back the things I wanted to tell him, secrets that would give him the drive to go on, but could put us in danger.

"Remember the good times, Luna, hold on to them and believe me when I say you're going to be taken away from here soon."  

I know he didn't believe my promise, but he nodded, snuggling into the warmth of my arms.

Chris's pov

I let out another growl of frustration. My dad left to talk to whoever he'd been speaking to for the past few days, abandoning me to the boredom of my bedroom. As I lay there, my body slowly healing and gathering strength, I let my mind drift to Jesse. After everything I'd put him through, he'd finally accepted me as a mate and  finally after trying for five years, he'd become pregnant with our first pup and . . . this was my fault, I'm the one who wanted to prove himself to him sire, I'm the one who decided to leave the safety of his pack and strike out on my own, because of my pathetic pride and dragged my vulnerable mate along with me . . . I could have left him behind until the pup was born, but instead I not only led him away from safety, I asked him to meet me at a bar on a side of town he didn't know that well just because I wanted to see him. A whine of agony escaped my lips before I could force it back and I heard my dad burst into the room, his hands wrapping around my weak body.

"Oh, son, you know this isn't your fault, don't you?"

"Y-You asked me to stay, but I was so selfish that I had to do things my own way . . . I mean whoever heard of an Alpha's son running a bar?"

"Son."

"Why did I ask him to meet me there? Why didn't I just tell him to stay home, that I'd meet him?"

"You wanted to be with your mate, son. No one blames you for wanting to be close to him, the only one to blame is the monster that hurt him."

"He . . . He killed our pup."

My dad looked away, as if deciding how much he should tell me and when he turned back, his eyes were full of guilt.

"What is it?"

"Son, when you told me that you wanted to go to the New Moon Pack, I . . . well I sent someone there to keep an eye on you."

"I . . . I don't understand. If you sent someone_________."

"I didn't send a warrior, sob because we were at peace with the New Moon pack and I didn't want to give them any reason to see us as a threat."

"Then__________?"

"The nurse that saved you, I sent her there almost a month before you made your final decision to leave . . . that's who I've been talking to."

"But why did you keep it from me?"

Dad sat up, letting out a weary sigh and stared directly into my eyes.

"She's been assigned to take care of Jesse, son. The reason we've held back from attacking the New Moon Pack, the reason we haven't rushed in guns blazing is because we know for sure that Alpha Kyle would kill Jesse and . . . your baby."

His eyes became blurry as my own filled with tears and I couldn't help the hope in my tone when I spoke.

"Are you saying _________?"

"Yes son, your pup is alive."

Well there you have it, Jesse has a new ally and Chris knows the truth. Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.