I Moved On, Why Don't You

A Mother's Pain, A Brother's Guilt

Linda's pov

Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep

The steady beeping of the machines keeps me from closing my eyes to sleep. Not that I could anyway as images of my son's battered and brutalized body keep playing in my head like a horror movie I want to escape, but can't. My baby is only sixteen, not even old enough to shift, yet someone thought he was old enough for them to rape and to . . . to torture? Did he call for me? Did he beg me to help him? Tears start to fall from my eyes again, but I'm too numb to wipe them away as I remember the doctor's words after Joel's surgery.

"Mrs. Matthews, I'm afraid I have some good news and some bad news."

"Alright."

"The good news is that none of your son's injuries are life threatening and he'll make a full recovery . . . the bad news is that the injuries and the great amount of stress and shock that his body has suffered have greatly lowered the baby's chances of survival."

"Baby? What baby?"

"You didn't know your son was pregnant?"

"No, he tried to talk to me earlier, but I had an argument with his brother and asked if we could talk later. Of course he agreed . . . he would do whatever he could to make things easier for me and now________."

"There's something else you need to know. Some time during the course of the attack, your son was raped, multiple times. We collected a DNA sample, but unfortunately it won't do any good . . . the DNA belongs to one of our Beta's sons."

"Are you saying that this animal can just hurt my son and get away with it?"

"I'm saying it'll be next to impossible to get the Alpha to listen to you, let alone help you, I mean the Beta is the Alpha's right hand and his boys are like the Alpha's own sons, you'll have to get a confession out of the culprit's own mouth for your boy to get justice."

"So that's it? There's nothing I can do?"

"The best thing for you to do is to take care of your son, he's going to be holding a lot of shame and guilt that he doesn't deserve and pain that he shouldn't be suffering and he's going to need you more than he ever did. Don't leave him alone, even when he tries to push you away, he's going to be willing to do anything for his pain to end and if you don't watch him, he's might use drastic measures to end his suffering permanently."

"I-I understand."

"I'm sorry, I wish I could do more to help you."

"No, I owe you my son's life . . . thank you."

The doctor had smiled sadly and tilted his head in acknowledgement, before returning to his rounds.

"Mommy?"

Gasping as Joel's weak voice brought me back to the present, I rushed over to his bed.

"Yes baby, I'm here."

"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you . . . about the baby, but I_________________."

"No, don't apologize, this isn't your fault."

"It's my mate's. I'm having my mate's baby and he doesn't even want me."

"How could he not want you? You're beautiful, smart, loving and have the biggest heart of anyone I know."

"I'm not good enough for him, he deserves better."

"Don't say that! I will not allow you to sell yourself short like that, alright?!"

"Thank you, mama."

"You're welcome. Now I want to tell you something and you are not going to get upset, ok?"

Joel nodded his head, but I could already see the fear in his eyes.

"I talked to the doctor and he said that while your injuries weren't a threat to your life, they might have caused serious harm to the baby . . . there's a chance the baby might not survive."

"I failed."

"Son."

"I failed my baby."

Grabbing his chin, I turned him around to face me.

"Now you listen to me, Joel Matthews, you did not fail your baby . . . you were beaten and raped by a bully and a thug who was willing to go as far as he could to get what he wanted from you! You didn't fail anyone, not your baby, not yourself and certainly not me . . . I'm so proud of you son."

"Am I interrupting?"

We both looked up to see Joey watching us coldly.

"Joey, what are you doing here? I thought you were at home."

"So I can't see my own brother?"

"I'm not going to argue with you. I'm going to get a cup of coffee from the cafeteria while you two talk, I'll be back soon."

Without waiting for a reply, I walked out of the room.

Joel's pov

Cringing when Joey suddenly brushed his hand across my stomach, I stopped myself from pushing his hand away.

"How far along are you?"

"Why are you here? You've never cared about my life before, so why now?"

"Forget it."

Joey snatched his hand away as if I'd burned him and I let out a wince of pain.

"I just thought we could start over, you know, rebuild our relationship as brothers . . . but I guess it's too late."

"You hate me Joey . . . I don't even know what I did to make you stop seeing me as a brother, but I'm sorry. I thought that when dad left we'd be a team and help take care of mom together, but instead you turned on us and blamed us for what happened."

"Shut up! Don't you get it, I never blamed you! It's my fault . . . it's my fault dad used to hit you . . . it's my fault that he fought with mom and it's my fault that he left . . . all of it is my fault and I hate you for not blaming me for it!"

"None of what happened was your fault, or my fault or mom's fault; okay? Dad made his own choices, he chose to hurt us and he chose to abandon us. You were just a kid, just like I was and mom was just doing what she had to in order to take care of us. We were all just trying to survive a bad situation"

"Why? Why won't you blame me? Why won't you hate me?"

My eyes widened when I saw tears running down his face, Joey didn't even cry when dad abandoned us and found a new family.

"Why? Why won't you hate me for what I did?"

"Joey?"

"It's because of me that_____________!"

"Joey!"

"I can't . . . I have to go."

I opened my mouth to stop him, when a familiar and terrifying scent hit my nose.

What was he doing with Jason?

Linda pov

I turned the corner to Joel's room to find Joey disappearing down the hall. Letting out a sigh, I made my way back into Joel's room.

"Joel, what happened, your brother ran out of here like hunters were chasing him."

"I don't know . . . mom I need you to do something for me. I don't want to be around Joel right now and________."

"You want me to throw him out?"

"No, of course not, I'd never make you choose like that. I know grandma left us a small house as an inheritance. I want to live there."

"But why______________?"

"The guy that raped me, I think he and Joey are friends . . . I don't want to take the chance of____________."

" I understand, as long as you check in with me and finish school, I'll let you go."

"Thank you . . . I'm sorry I have to leave you."

"Just be careful, ok."

"I promise."