Imagine If You Assembled the Avengers: Volume 1

What Was I Thinking? (Natasha Romanoff x reader)

"Natasha, come on, open the door."

"Nat, it's just me. You know why I'm here."

A moment passed, and you nearly walked away when the door finally began to move. "Fine. F.R.I.D.A.Y., open the damn door."

What played out before you wasn't exactly what you expected. The room was an absolute disaster, and your best friend was at its center. She looked small somehow, withdrawn and downright depressed. The pain you felt drew you to her; the rest of the team was out on a brief mission, leaving Nat as the only one who could be the source of the emotions you were receiving.

Cautiously you sat beside her on the floor, not saying anything, allowing her to lead you. It felt like an eternity before her voice finally cracked, nearly a whisper. "What the hell was I thinking, (Y/N)? It's my fault that he's gone. I didn't accept his concerns about a relationship, so I pushed and pushed until I literally pushed him away. I gained his trust only to destroy it." She looked up at you, eyes red and glistening. You had never seen her like this, and feared that if you rushed her, she would shut you out. "Who am I? I used to know."

"Natasha, he left for many other reasons too. But I'm not going to lie just to make you feel better. He was hurting. Letting you in put you both at risk, and he never considered it a possibility to find anyone willing to try. Yes, his trust is fractured, but fractures heal. With time. You need to let this go, and believe that what is supposed to happen will happen. Learn from it. If and when he's ready, he'll come back."

She gently laid her head against your shoulder, throwing her used Kleenex across the room, adding to all those she's missed before.

"So working with Hawkeye has done absolutely nothing for your aim, huh? Some expert marksman you are."

Finally, a quiet laugh escaped her lips. "Shut it, you. Like you're any better." But her smirk was gone as fast as it came. "When I was young, being trained, I knew my course. There was only one option. I had no place in the world, but I understood what that meant. My path was to be taken alone, and I never questioned it." She kept her eyes lowered, as if she feared that you would see something in her to turn you away.

You held her hand and waited. But after a few quiet moments, she gently shook her head, clapped her hands together and quickly stood in front of you, resolved and looking down with her hand extended.

"Come on. Let's get out of here."

"Well, you're sure bouncing back quickly." You were skeptical that she was just trying to satisfy your worry so you would leave her alone, but her feelings were genuine. You couldn't sense any false pretenses or attempts to cover what was truly happening. She was really trying to pull herself forward.

"(Y/N), wasn't it you who said, 'just because the path has been made, it doesn't mean you can't walk on the grass'?" With a hearty laugh, you said, "honey, I say a lot of crap I don't remember! Do you know how often I say things just to get Tony to give me a few minutes of peace and quiet? If you sound even remotely philosophical, you can shut him down for a good 15 minutes of trying to figure out 'the deeper meaning'!"

With eyes wide, you grabbed Nat's hand and pulled her towards her closet. "Clean yourself up. I've got an idea."

~~~

"Ok, (Y/N), I guess this was a good idea. But I have one question for you." In a blink her foot shot up out of the water and stopped just before touching your throat.

"Does this polish color say, 'I could crush your trachea with only my big toe?'"

Yep, she was back.