Imagine If You Assembled the Avengers: Volume 1

Her Secrets Have Secrets (Natasha Romanoff x reader)

The city at night really is the most beautiful sight that you had ever seen. Sitting atop the tower, as one of the tallest buildings in Manhattan, you had a vantage point that very few would ever experience. You swung your legs mindlessly over the edge and closed your eyes as the breeze cooled your skin and tousled your hair, allowing you to clear your mind for the first time that day. Here, the intensity and emotional toll that training with Natasha had on you could be forgotten, even if for only a short time.

When you moved to the city you had hoped to never be found, but the spy was on your trail from almost your first day; your powers were dark and ominous, and you did as much as you could to keep them hidden from the world around you. Your childhood was filled with secrecy and shame and the belief that an evil had found you. You weren't wanted, and it was painfully obvious. When you were old enough to be on your own you travelled to New York to try to blend in and be invisible within the craziness of the city, hoping that you could finally live your life and keep your power a secret.

A click of the door behind you startled you briefly; you closed your eyes and covered yourself in darkness so that you wouldn't be seen. It wasn't that you were afraid to be found, but this was your time to be alone and you wanted to protect your hiding place.

You turned to see Natasha leaning back against the building with her eyes squeezed tightly shut and breathing heavily. She took a few deep breaths, wiped her eyes and quickly returned back into the tower with no more than a moment passing by.

~~~

"What are you so afraid of? I know what you can do, (Y/N), so do it!"

You grabbed Natasha's foot and flipped her onto her back but stepped away, panting and holding your side at the sharp pain that cut with each breath. "You know why, Nat. I don't want to use them. I could seriously hurt you." You took a seat on the bench and watched her slowly stand, having a moment of pride in yourself that you could slow her down with only your fighting skills.

"It looks like I can do okay without them anyway."

"You got lucky," she groaned, stretching her arms over her head with a slight grimace on her face. "So tell me, what do I say to Steve when he asks about your progress, and I say that you won't work on your other skills? You know he expects you to be working on them."

"Tell him I can kick your ass without them."

Talking about your umbrakinetic powers did nothing but make you anxious and uncomfortable; not willing to engage her any further you grabbed your gear, anxious to get back to your hiding place.

Once there it took a little longer to settle in and find your place of relaxation. You knew that Natasha was going to keep pushing and pushing until she got you to finally break and use powers. Every time you did, it felt wrong and it drained the joy from you; dark energy was hard to manipulate and hard to not let it affect you as you tried.

After about an hour alone, it happened again. Natasha opened the door, shut her eyes and took a few deep breaths, wiped her eyes and went back in. You hid yourself each time.

The next night, it happened again.

And the next.

And the next.

The fifth night that it happened was different, and you didn't hide yourself from her. She stepped out onto the roof as usual, but she held a pack over her shoulder and was dressed to leave. She had the same look of distress that she had carried every other night, but now she looked resolved too. She was running away.

You would by lying if you hadn't said you weren't jealous, after the many times you would have done the same, but this was Natasha, and she was much more important to the team than you felt that you ever were. She was with the team from the beginning; she was at the heart of it, and she couldn't just walk away.