leather journal / h.s

22

M A R Y

the next day i stayed at home, just as i spent every other sunday almost. my hair was in a high ponytail, and i sat indian style on my bed-- reading harry's journal. if penny were there she'd be getting on to me about how i shouldn't have been doing that if harry and i were best friends. but that was the reason i was reading. to know more about him; to get to know him by figuring out the things he would have never told me in person.

"i used to have a crush on louis, but now i just like him as a friend. he pisses me off too much for me to date him. i think ill just stick with girls."

i had read that about one sentence in, much to my amusement. i wondered if harry's opinion on louis had changed since then. maybe his feelings had rekindled and sparked a new flame. i had no idea, because he journal had been gone from his possession far too long for him to record those thoughts-- if they had even existed.

maybe harry swung both ways. how weird would that be, for me to kiss him after that? that would be like having two pairs of lips on mine at once. talk about weird.

not that i was homophobic or anything, because i wasn't. but if i was going to date harry, i wanted to taste his lips and his lips only. no exceptions.

"good morning, sunshine!" my mom called from the other side of the door. i groaned, and put the leather journal away quickly before replacing it with my laptop and opening a bible reading website.

i put on the best smile i possibly could. it was one of my best saving lies, even if they didn't require me to say a word. "good morning, mom!" i chimed with mock happiness. "please come in."

the doorknob turned slowly and there she stood, this time still in her robe that had her initials embroiled in gold on the side. she looked oh so elegant, but at the same time a mess because it was apparent she'd just woken up. "the family is going out for dinner tonight. want to come?"

there was absolutely no turning that offer down. as much money as we had, it was seldom that we ate out.

"sure." i smiled briefly and gave her a hug. she grinned back and started toward the door. i assumed that's the only reason she wanted to come into my room.

her hand rested on the doorknob, making me nervous. what if she noticed the journal sitting on the side of the bed, where i had put it?

but instead she kept that clueless smile on her face. "i was wondering if you'd like to go to that music fest next weekend with your older sister?"

my heart almost stopped for two reasons. one, being that i was already going to that with harry and louis, and she had no idea about them; two being the fact that lilac was yet to be heard from by me ever since she graduated high school in the spring. she must've hated me and the idea of going to a social event with her made me cringe.

i frowned at the thought. how awkward would that be, going with someone who hated you while your hopeless crush was there as well? a clash would be inevitable. "i didn't even think lilac liked me." i commented, trying to talk my own way out of it without giving too much away.

mom shook her head, which i was not expecting. it only made sense for lilac to hate me. she hated me when she lived here, as well.

"she said that she misses you dearly and she'd love to go. i think you should."

there it was again; my hands were getting clammy and my mind was spinning in dizzy circles. i couldn't come up with a lie to get me out of this one. saying this to myself was scary, but i was going to have to tell the--

"im already going with someone!" i blurted.

--truth.

my mom blinked in amazement a couple times. i was sure she didn't expect that, since without penny i had no friends in her eyes. "who's that someone?"

i swallowed hard. now this was a lie i could come up with. "penny." i lied, and when her name came off of my tongue i had to fight the urge to spill bile all over my sheets.

mom nodded in understatement. jesus, that was a very close one. "i can call her mom and get the details, if you'd like."

"no!" i said quickly and she laughed at my response. "me and her already have it all sorted out!"

"okay, then." she chuckled, already halfway out the room. thank god. i wasn't sure how much longer id be able to take her presence. "ill tell lilac that you're already going. you and penny have fun next..."

"saturday." i finished for her, feeling that lump in my throat again. "we're going on saturday."

she smiled with excitement. "the most crowded day. maybe you'll see a friend from school there or something!"

i deadpanned. "mom, go."

she gave me a disappointed smile, making me laugh. she was funny, even when she wasn't trying to be. "alright, dear." and she was gone.

just then, i heard my text tone go off, it's sound bouncing off my soft pink walls. i jumped up and sprinted over to it, happy to see that it was from harry.

harry aka bae: hey mary! i miss you and i really hope that this doesn't sound clingy. :-)

i smiled to myself. he was such a dork. a cute dork.

me: it is clingy, actually lol!! but don't worry, ill see you and lou next saturday!

harry aka bae: but marrrry.... that's too long! i just miss my best friend. :((( why are you so mean to me? are you trying to get rid of me? :?

me: no!!! not at all :)

harry aka bae: that sounds awful sarcastic to me. :/

me: i didn't mean to be. im so sorry.

harry aka bae: well why are you smiling then?

what was he talking about? okay, maybe i really was smiling, but there was no way he could have known that. he was at his house and i was at--

harry aka bae: look on your balcony. it's getting cold out here. D: