leather journal / h.s

20

M A R Y

we had time enough to watch the titanic movie in its entirety-- which might i mind you is very long-- and penny still hadn't shown up yet. it was starting to cross my mind that maybe, and hopefully, she had changed her mind and wasn't going to come over anymore.

so there i sat, next to harry on our silky couch. he sat there, staring into my eyes and smiling, and i assumed that was a harry thing, and just not a me thing.

"how long are you going to stare at me?" i asked with an awkward smile.

he shrugged. "not long." and his gaze was still fixed on me. i fidgeted under his stare and soon enough he looked away, letting out a light giggle. it was the cutest thing i had ever heard, and if possible i would have set it as my ringtone. my alarm. my text tone. everything.

"may i ask you, why are you here?" i meant to ask the question playfully, but the way it had come out sounded like i didn't believe that he had come for roses.

he gave me a sideways look. "what do you mean, mary? i came to give you the roses."

i shook my head. it was going to take a lot more convincing than that to get me to believe him. "there is no way you'd come out all this way to give me a bouquet of silly flowers."

"you'd be surprised by the person i am." he gave me a happy smirk, making my stomach do things unimagined. "im probably one of the most genuine people you will ever have the pleasure of meeting."

i could easily agree with that. "i don't think anyone is nice enough to do that for something so small." i was more than on to him at this point. "what's up?"

this time he didn't retaliate with some lie or lame excuse. he just sat there, seemingly deep in thought. his brow was furrowed and a digit was pressed to his chin, and he looked very cute before my very eyes. "i just wanted to hang out with you." he said truthfully, and i could see his cheeks becoming a deep red tint. "that's what friends do, right? hang out."

i knew that what he needed in this moment was affirmation, but i just couldn't give it to him. there was a difference between being friends and being clingy. "harry," i sighed, not really wanting to tell him this. "normal friends hang out every couple of weeks. and we have the festival to go to next week. we already hung out yesterday at that party."

"yeah!" he said quickly, desperate. "but that party was scum. not what i wanted to do at all."

i frowned for a moment. i thought he actually had some fun singing karaoke with louis and i.

"what is it you wanted to do, then?" i asked, regretting it instantly.

he smiled from ear to ear. "i was thinking that we could grab some lunch and then see a movie, or--"

"okay." i gave in. harry's smiling reaction was completely priceless, and it made my resentful answer worth it.

if i were to say yes a couple of days ago, the guilt in my heart would be buried so deeply i wouldn't be able to find my way out of it. but now that the twitter account was gone and all i had was his journal, i didn't feel quite as bad about it. that didn't mean i had yet to feel bad in the least, though. because i did. i just couldn't help but hold onto it a little longer.

"i don't get why you want to hang out with me so much." i said honestly, looking down. it was true. no one wanted to be friends with a liar, a thief. at least, that was what penny told me. "im just the average girl-- a bit more weird though."

he did that thing again. staring into my eyes to the point where i thought that i would succumb to his charm and completely melt. "because," he cooed. "ive never met anyone quite like you, mary. and i plan to spend my wonderful year break with you and maybe more."

every word harry said managed to make me feel important and loved-- even if it wasn't quite by him. but still, he just sat there with that stupid smitten smile, making me feel like i was on the peak of a roller coaster.

what scared me even more was when he started to lean in very slowly, his mouth only inches away from my face. i could feel his breath fanning my face, and it made my heart rate quicken considerably.

just then, the doorbell rang.

i perked up quickly, half thanking whoever was at the door for coming at the moment they did. i could have only imagined what would have happened if they didn't. would harry really have kissed me? there was no way. we hadn't even known each other that long.

he just sat there, dumbfounded and looking awfully rejected, but i still made my way to the door. in the peephole i saw who i had ultimately expected, making the situation worse.

"well?" i could hear her ask impatiently through the thin barrier between us. "open the door, mary. we need to talk."

i didn't know what to do. maybe i should have just walked away and joined harry on the couch again, where he would inevitably try to kiss me again at some point and the discovery of his journal in my home would tear us apart. maybe i should have just let her in and ruin the moment with her big mouth, probably spilling secrets along the way in an effort to destroy me.

but instead i just slowly opened the door, and her mouth almost dropped to the floor when she saw what she did.

"harry's here?" she asked in a low, angry whisper.

i just nodded. "you see him, don't you?" i smirked. "or maybe we're both just hallucinating."

"hi harry!" she called, fake cheerful all of a sudden.

he gave her a clueless smile and raked his hand through his hair before waving. "hey, pete."

"it's penny." she said, frowning at once. i wanted to laugh at the fact that he couldn't even remember her name, and he was coming over to my house for "titanic and chill" but still wanted to hang with me at a music festival the following weekend.

and there was one more thing i wanted her to know.

"penny." i whispered again, a sly smile on my face. she raised an eyebrow at me.

"harry just tried to kiss me before you rang the doorbell. good thing you came, right? i bet you're happy."

and that was all it took for her to completely lose it.