Saving Grace. [Alex Gaskarth]

I Can't Sleep.

ALEX

"I can't sleep."

"What?" I chuckled.

Me and Ivory were now sat back where we were, I was sat behind her, with her in-between my legs, my arms loosely draped round her middle. Neither of us had spoken for a while before her last comment, to be fair she had only stopped crying a minute ago. I had picked her up and carried her to where we were, which seemed to have calmed her down dramatically.

"I can't sleep." She repeated.

"Whaaa...?"

"It was his last words."

"Who's?"

"J.M Barrie's." She smiled, I smiled too, pulling her back so her head was resting against my chest.

"Ivory? I know you don't want to talk about it, but-"

"You want to know why I kicked off right? Both at school and before?"

"You don't have too Ivory-Grace, but maybe I could help?"

"Where to start eh?" She chuckled humorlessly.

"The book, J.M Barrie, the name, anything."

"It all leads back to the same thing, Alex."

She didn't say anything for a while, her eyes had glassed over and subconsciously she was shuffling closer to me. I kissed the top of her head and kept her close, I was weary of doing anything more because of the whole 'not holding hands' thing.

"Ivor-"

"My Mom," she interrupted, "It all leads back to my Mom."

"How so?" I mumbled, pressing my lips against her head.

"She called me Ivy, she gave me the book, she loved J.M Barrie."

"What...happened?" I said cautiously, she didn't reply, she merely sniffed back tears until she couldn't help herself anymore. A loud sob escaped her lips and she turned around in my arms, throwing her arms around my neck and clutching me desperately. I held her close and rubbed her back, kissing her head to try and calm her down again.

"Ivory-Grace...shh, it's okay, I got you, I got you."

She continued to sob, louder than before. In-fact I'd never seen a girl so upset, her fat, salty tears were soaking through my shirt, her head buried in my shoulder.

"S-S-She died Alex! S-She's gone!" She cried. I gasped and pulled her closer, resting us against the tree, the only stable thing here.

Gradually Ivory's crys quietened, she removed her head from my shoulder and sighed sadly. Given the fact she was sat on my lap, it wasn't easy for us to be any closer, but somehow she managed it. I lifted my hand up and gently wiped under her eyes, swiping my thumb over her cheek to remove the stray tears. She hiccuped and wiped her eyes herself.

"She p-passed away 4 years ago, s-she was t-terminal."

"Oh Ivory." I said sadly, tears of my own forming in the corners of my eyes.

"She was so amazing A-Alex, s-she was my best f-friend, I needed her, w-we needed her."

"I'm so sorry Ivory-Grace."

"Taylor and Matt are all I have left now, D-Dad's never been the same since she passed."

"You have me Ivory-Grace, I'll stay, I'll-"

"Alex please, promises are made to be broken, Mom promised she'd never leave me, Mom promised she'd cook her famous Mac'n'cheese that night, Mom promised she'd finish reading that chapter of Peter Pan that night, Mom prom-"

"I get it Ivory-Grace, I get it."

"I don't need you to 'get it' Alex! I need you to-"

She looked away, swallowing the lump in her throat. I lent forward slightly and pressed my forehead against her own, she jerked back at the bold movement and blinked at me.

"Tell me what you need Ivory-Grace."

"Someone to stay." She whispered. "Someone to- save...me."

"You need a Saving Grace, Ivory-Grace?"

"I guess..." She said, a small smile appearing on her tired face. 

"Then let me be your Saving Grace, okay?"

"Okay." 

We both looked at each other, and gradually Ivory took a deep breath, leaning in closer. She wrapped her arms around me again, and nervously kissed my cheek, blushing a deep red and pulling away again. I laughed and caught her waist so she couldn't move anymore. I pulled her back so her head was resting in the crook of my neck and kissed her forehead. 

"We should really stop using John Green to finish conversations eh?" I mumbled. 

"Probably." She chuckled, raising her head to look at me. 

"Thanks, Alex."

"No worries, Ivory-Grace." 

We just stared at each other for a while, until she turned around back to our previous position. I looped my arms around her waist and just held her protectively, occasionally planting a kiss on the top of her head. Gradually the sun began to set and as expected Ivory's phone rang, Taylor's voice asking where she was and when she was coming back. 

"You live with Taylor?" I asked, tightening my grip on her as she was shivering. 

"No, but he cares the most, Dad focuses more on managing to get home from work." 

"Workoholic?"

"I guess, distracts him from the fact Mom's...gone." She swallowed again, and wiped her eyes.

"Hey hey hey no more crying, maybe we should go home?"

"Okay." 

I laughed and helped her up, slipping an arm around her waist and making no attempt to hold her hand this time. We walked down the hill and back to the shop where Taylor was just locking up. 

"Thanks, Alex." Ivory smiled, wrapping her arms around my figure in a more confident manor than before. 

"It's okay, Ivory-Grace." I said, returning the favor. She leaned up and kissed my cheek once more before joining Taylor at his side. I smiled and saluted her, making her giggle and press her face into Taylor's side, he wrapped his arm her shoulder and smiled at me thankfully. 

"Sleep well, Ivory-Grace."