Words a Mother Never Heard (Wattys2016)

Nichole And Random

Her oldest brother's name is Random, they are almost four and a half years apart and as I have shared with you before he was very protective of her. I asked him to tell me a couple of his favorite memories of her. His response was, "That's easy mom". While he has many, the two he shared are as follows and in his words.

"I loved our routine when it was bed time. I would make sure she was all tucked in and would ask her 'lights on or off'. She would always reply off. Then I would ask 'door open or closed' and she always replied 'closed'. As I would close the door I would say, 'I Love you Sis'. She would reply 'I love you too, bubby' until she got older then she would say 'love you bubbles' and give me that little grin of hers."

**Now let me explain why it went from bubby to bubbles. Random has what most people refer to as a bubble butt and has always been teased about it. (He is going to kill me when he reads this, lol.) So when Nichole got old enough to understand what a bubble butt was and that he didn't like being teased about it, she thought it was funny to call him bubbles. It kind of became a nick name if you will between them. I can tell you no one else called him bubbles!

His next memory took place when she was in her teens and up until she left us.

"Once a month we would drive to Grand Rapids, Ohio and go to Mary Jane Thurston State park. At the park was this small brick building with a brick wall around it over looking the river and the dam. We would just sit on that brick wall, talking for hours and watching the sunset."

Random and Nichole became so close as she got older. They confided in each other a lot. Random told me when she died, "Mom she was my best friend, who am I going to talk to now?" All I could do was hold him as he cried. Nichole was the glue that kept everyone in contact and together. Things kind of fell apart for awhile after her death. Nichole would always call me and check up on me, she would tell me, "Don't worry Momma I will always take care of you". It is my opinion that daughters are "normally" the ones who step up when the parents age and I never doubted she would always be there for me. Parents are not suppose to out live their children! Random has stepped into her shoes and is the one who tries so hard to keep all the cousins in contact and now he tells me, don't worry Momma I will always take care of you.

While I know the pain of losing a child, I have not experienced the loss of a sibling. So I never tell her brothers I know how they feel because I don't. They have their private personal memories of her and that's the way it should be. We have gotten to a point though that when we speak of her it is with smiles and laughter. She loved to laugh.

Thank you for continuing Nichole's journey with me and for allowing me to share my thoughts with you. If you are enjoying Words A Mother Never Heard please don't forget to vote.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to MorrighansMuse for her kindness and encouragement.