Caim

- chapter 29 -

Aurélia

Age 14

Last night I tried to kill myself for the 2nd time. It was stupid of me to try the same why both times, but then again did I really do all this to die?

The first time when I was 12 wasn't even a real attempt. I was scared, I swallowed 4 pills and thought that was gonna do something.

This time I was smarter but not smart enough. I locked myself into my mom's bathroom and took every pill in sight.

I wanted to die. No, I wanted attention. I want someone to notice me. They all ignore me but now they can't, they know now.

Or so I thought. "You need to learn not to mess with other people's stuff," she yells, my face stinging from the slap id received moments before.

She was mad. My mom was mad I tried to kill my self. Not even that, she's mad I took all her pills. The rage I've held for so long rises in me.

"You're so selfish! I just tried to kill myself because of what you and your stupid boyfriend put me through, and all you are thinking about is your dumb pills? Give them a rest! All the medicine is aging your face," I scream at her.

"You do not get to blame this on me Mia! It was your choice to do this to yourself! I hope you know I'll be taking any money you get to pay off the amount of money you took from me taking those. You need to grow up, you're 14 and you still want me to be the reason you've got problems." She deflects.

It's not her fault that I'm messed up. It's not her fault that I've been hurting myself. It's not her fault that she constantly abuses me and my siblings like it's normal.

I pick up the remote next to me and press the call button. "Excuse me, I do not wish for my mother to be in here anymore. Neither my father or stepfather either," I say to the nurse on the other side. Mom's face screws up tightly.

"Don't ask me for anything you ungrateful bitch," she says dramatically as she exits the room. I don't even know why I did this, it felt good for a second. Not physically, mentally I felt like I was freeing myself.

I was giving myself a chance to be free from all of this. It was selfish of me, that she was right about. If I was gone no one would be able to be there for Camilla and kimmy and the twins. As much as I want to say Eliza would, she's moved on.

My mom and dad would probably be happier finding me dead. I bet if she's the one who's found me instead of Camilla she would've left me there to choke on my own throw up and die.

Camilla. She saw me after trying to kill my self. She probably hates me now, I tried to leave her. She started it. She tried it first.

She tried to slit her own throat right in front of dad. You'd think after two kids trying to kill themselves they'd get the hint.

You'd think after Kimmy spending her nights crying and saying she'd kill herself when she turns 15 since she was 6 they'd care.

No. It's all a big joke to them. They think they can do this and they'll find themselves with adult children thanking them for making them tuff kids.