-Keep the change-
The rooftop of the building was decorated like a garden. There were rows of trees taller than humans, and benches in between. This place, which was used as a resting place, was not crowded because it was early in the morning after 1.30 am. It was time to go to bed and sleep but my mind was very clear. I leaned against a chest-high wall and looked down at the scattered world that was like the red light of a cigarette butt. I've decided to take revenge, but there was still something holding me back. It was a pretty funny worry. What if I get so caught up in revenge and forget my faults? Until now, paying back the money has been a reminder to me like an alarm: you're paying for your sins now. What used to be a clear indicator has disappeared now, and now that I was concerned about someone else's sins, I feel useless anxiety. I made a mistake and I still have a lot more to atone for. I mustn't forget that.
Then I suddenly thought, was I always this kind of person? I held back the bitter smile that was about to come out. I thought that my previous self came out, determined to take revenge, but the past five years must have had a great influence on me. Then I realised. The indicators that I need to punish myself are already in my head. A clear memory of that day five years ago was enough. Even as time goes by, I remember the feeling of entering an empty house as clear as yesterday. The room where the owner
was stuffed with traces of life. Suddenly, I wanted to smoke. I haven't smoked in five years, but I guess my desire for cigarettes has revived along with myself from five years ago. Or maybe it was because of the faint smell of cigarettes. I must not have been the only one on the rooftop, as the smell was mixed with the wind as it blew. I took a step and went inside. Someone was biting a cigarette in front of a tall tree in the middle. I couldn't see his face well because it was dark, but I couldn't stand the desire for a smoke that had suddenly revived, and approached him.
"Can I have a cigarette?"
When I spoke, he glanced away as if nothing had happened. I wanted to give up at this point because I thought he was a jerk with that attitude of ignoring me, but the smell flowed strongly into me again in the wind.
"I'm not asking for it for free. I just need one."
Plop.
A burning cigarette fell near my feet. The other party's intentions were too obvious; smoke it and shut up. I looked down at it, which was still burning red, as I heard footsteps turning around. I bent down and picked up the cigarette that fell on the floor and bit in my mouth. The end was unpleasantly wet because it had been in someone else's mouth, but I didn't care. As I inhaled, the smoke ran down my throat and spread inside. Perhaps because it's been a while since I last smoked, I felt a little dizzy for a moment. But there was no problem doing what was needed.
"Wait a minute."
Fortunately, when I called the person who had already started walking away, he turned around. I could see his expressionless face stopped under the lamp. Looking at him, I took a coin out of my pocket and threw it.
Clink, clink. Drrr~
As I looked at the 200 won coin that rolled a little and then stopped, I added.
"Keep the change."
And I tried to turn around, I paused as I saw his lips slowly curve upwards as he looked at the coin. There was even a small dimple next to the lips. People whose eyes naturally curve when they smile make a good impression. At that moment, I felt like I had seen it somewhere, but a light laugh interrupted my thoughts.
"You miscalculated, idiot."
The person in front of me could have made a good impression, given that smiling face and soft voice. However, the meaning of the words from him was the opposite. This tremendous difference made me alert. That smiling face and the familiar way of speaking. At that moment, tension rushed down the spine. There was only one thing that came to mind. He's a madman.
