We can only learn to love by loving

Part 19

Leah's Pov

I wasn't expecting to see Mel at the event tonight, the minute I saw her stood behind the stall the mixture of emotions succumbed me which made me internally argue with myself whether to approach her or not. I had tried numerous times to contact her to no avail, eventually I got the message and decided it was best to leave her alone. But her being here tonight, was this fate bringing us back together again?

I watched on intently as she packed away her stall, returning back from the car park several times to collect the remainder of her things.

I didn't know when the next time I would see her will be, and so I decided to bite the bullet.

Of course, she held a hostile approach towards me, and who could blame her? The last she had spoken too me, she found out that Jordan and I had kissed. Well, no actually, Jordan had taken advantage of me whilst I was drunk and had kissed me.

I never told her about Jordan's crush on me a few years ago, I had assumed Jordan had gotten over it and so I didn't think it was a big deal. After what had happened, I knew I needed to explain everything to Mel, if she gave me half a chance to do so.

Much to my surprise, I was now sat in Mel's hotel room as she waits for me to finally tell her what had happened that night. I had gone over this scenario multiple times in my head, figuring out exactly how I could word it to avoid causing further pain to Mel, but also convincing her to believe me.

But now that I'm sat here, across the room from the girl I have fallen so deeply in love with, I can't even bring myself to look in her direction.

For the last few minutes, I have sat in silence, my mind working overtime as I attempt to string my opening sentence together. I was staring intently at my hands, attempting to calm my nerves. I knew Mel was wanting me to start the conversation, well, that was until I guess she had enough of the silence we were currently sat in, as she decided to speak first.

"So......?" she began.

I was finally able to lift my head up, meeting her eyes as she gazed at me intently.

After taking a deep breath, I knew this was it.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." I whispered.

It was now or never. I knew I didn't need to wait for Mel to respond, I needed to finally get this off my chest.

"A few years ago, Jordan and I played together at Arsenal. At the time, we were extremely close with one another and got on like a house on fire... That was until she told me she had feelings for me. At first, I was shocked at the revelation as I had no romantic feelings for her what so ever, and so I was slightly confused as to where her feelings had come from. I dunno, maybe I had flirted with her unintentionally on a few occasions? I'm not entirely sure."

"Leah...." Mel interrupted, tears now filling her eyes as she gently shook her head, wishing for me to not continue.

"No, please let me finish. It's not what you think" I croaked, desperately wanting to put an end to all of this.

After an assuring nod from Mel, I continued.

"After Jordan told me about her feelings, I immediately told her they were not reciprocated, and I wanted to remain just friends. Jordan was understanding of this and that was the last we spoke of it. We continued to be friends although we were never as close as we once were. The night of the two of us together that the paparazzi had leaked, in some way was taken out of context. I'm not a big drinker, and because of that, I seem to have a low intolerance. The night of that event, I had a few drinks which at the time, I didn't realise how much they had gone to my head. I was oblivious to how actually drunk I was. If I'm being honest, I don't know exactly what happened that night, or how we ended up kissing. All I can tell you, is what I have been told since."