We can only learn to love by loving

Part 37

Leah's Pov

It's hard to explain, I know Mel loves me and was just trying to care for me and be there for me, but she doesn't seem to understand how frustrating it is being treated as though you're incapable of anything.

I feel like my independence has been completely stripped of me. And what makes it worse is that I can't do anything about it. The recovery period is long, and there isn't much I can do apart from follow the guidance I have been given from the physios.

I know I struggle when it comes to injuries, and without realizing, I take my frustration out on those who love me the most. Mum has become custom too it, she understands when I need space and to be left alone, whilst also knowing when I need that little bit of affection, even if it is just a reassuring smile.

Today is the third day of me being back at my childhood home. I hadn't planned on staying here that long but the lack of communication between myself and Mel has made going back home that little bit harder, although I knew it was my decision.

I sighed as I entered the kitchen and joined my mum who was sat at the kitchen table, who in return, offered me a kind smile as she watched me place my crutches to one side.

"How you feeling bubba?"

"Good" I mumbled, as I scrolled aimlessly through my phone.

"Have you spoken too Mel?"

"Uhm, she texted me yesterday morning asking how I was and if we could talk."

"And....?" My mum questioned, pushing for me to continue.

"And nothing mum, I didn't reply." I huffed back.

Deep down, I knew I was being unfair. And I knew I needed to speak to Mel to apologise, but the issue with me being injured is I get into my own head too much.

"You need to speak to her Leah, as much as I love having you here, you need to go back home."

"You don't understand though mum"

"What do you mean?" My mum questioned. Persistent to solving this rather than letting it continue

I sighed as I thought of the words to describe clearly to my mum exactly how I was feeling.

"When I can't play, I feel useless. I have no purpose. My days are spent stook at home doing the exact same thing as the day before. I end up taking a nap to pass time, which then makes me wide awake in the night, it's a recurring cycle that I can't get out of. The times when I do try and do something independently, Mel ends up taking over."

"But Leah you are injured. Your body can't do all of those things. Mel is just trying to help your recovery period be as easy as possible, without having you at risk of further hurting yourself." Her tone of voice was warm and kind, I knew she was right.

"But - ....... What if she leaves me?"

"Why would she do that?" My mum questioned, as her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Because this injury is really affecting me mum, I'm agitated all of the time which results in me snapping at Mel over the smallest of things. I don't mean too, but I also can't help it. I just want to go back to who I was before the injury."

"You just need to speak to her and explain exactly how you're feeling. Things won't get better unless you communicate. I know how hard the injury has impacted on you so far, but you need to try and see the positive side. An extended period on the sidelines allows you to do things which you wouldn't normally have the chance to do."

"What do you mean?" I queried my mum's perspective.

"You schedule is always extremely busy, if its not training or matches, it's events, award shows, and so on. With the injury, you now have more free time to do 'normal' things. You can go on holidays or away at weekends; you can visit family and friends a lot more often. Utilizing the time, you now have spare can help you and Mel grow and positively impact the growth of your relationship. That isn't going to happen, without communication."

"Hmm yeah, I suppose. I didn't think of it like that" I mumbled.

I could always count on my mum to speak sense.

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Mel's Pov

The night that Leah left I found myself lay in bed sobbing, with her hoodie wrapped around me tightly as I embraced her smell, hoping it would make it easier for me to fall to sleep. I knew it was her being injured which was causing her to act this way, but that doesn't mean it hurt any less.

I was just trying to help the healing process for her, I just wanted my Leah back.

Leah hadn't said how long she was staying at Amanda's for, to be honest, there was lack of communication on Leah's behalf, despite my attempts at checking in on her.

The silence from Leah's side was eating me up alive. I had so many questions and was not able to gather any answers. Was she leaving me? Does she want to move out permanently? Questions like these swirled around my head in a continuous loop.

Today was the third day of Leah not being home. It seemed weird around the house without her, almost eerily quiet. The only comfort I gained throughout this time was the fact Leah's belongings were still scattered around the house in the same places they were in before she left. Despite the several checks of my phone, in hope a notification from Leah would appear, the disappointment of realizing she still didn't want too talk set in each time.

I had decided today was the day I needed to return back to normal, well as normal as can be. I had spent the last 2 days on the sofa, refusing to move unless it was back too the bedroom where I forced myself to sleep, in hope that Leah would be home when I awoke. Today however, I had decided I needed to finally go and do the food shopping, the lack of food in the house shows how little my appetite has been since being home on my own.

After showering and making myself look some-what presentable, I headed off to the supermarket, list in hand of the groceries I needed whilst I was out today.

Thankfully, the shops seemed quieter than usual, which made the shopping trip quicker and easier. 45 minutes later I was walking back towards my car pushing the trolley which was now filled with carrier bags.

Despite my mind being focused on the road on the drive home, I couldn't help but subconsciously think about Leah and what she may be up to today. I wonder if she has been able to go about normal life whilst at her mums or was she finding it as difficult as me?

I had finally arrived home, each hand filled with shopping bags as I closed the door to the boot of my car.

Entering the kitchen, I began unpacking the grocery bags before placing the food in the right places within the kitchen.

"Uhm – Hi"

The faint whisper of a voice from behind me caused my body to freeze, I was still facing the kitchen cupboard as my heartbeat began to rapidly increase. I didn't need to turn around to recognize that voice, I would recognize that voice anywhere. It was Leah.

Exhaling deeply, I finally found the courage to turn around. As I stood now facing her, I couldn't help but analyse her appearance. Leah was wearing a pair of shorts and a matching hoodie, allowing the bandage on her knee to prominently stand out, her arms were placed inside of her crutches which were helping her to stand up and balance. As my eyes continued to take in her appearance, they soon drifted towards her eyes. Her eyes were red and swollen as if she had been excessively crying, her hair slightly dishevelled as it was tied loosely into a low bun, the front pieces of her hair resting slightly around her face.

Our eyes now met one another's as the eye contact became intense, eye contact Leah always caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach, something which hadn't disappeared despite the absence of each other's presence in the last few days or the uncertainty of what would happen within our relationship.

"Hi" I breathed out as our eyes remained locked onto one another's.