We can only learn to love by loving

Part 38

Leah's Pov

The moment I locked eyes with Mel, time froze. Nothing else seemed to matter apart from her. I knew I had been a lot these past few weeks, taking my mood swings out on the one person who had been there by my side through it all. It was now up to me to prove to Mel how much she means to me, and how much I need her. I can't lose her.

"Can we talk please?" I whispered, the lack of uncertainty anticipating Mel's reaction was overwhelming.

No words were uttered and instead, Mel nodded her head in acceptance as she slowly made her way to the living room where she took place on the sofa, I followed closely behind with my head hanging low. There was so much I wanted to say, and yet the words were hard to find.

"I know I owe you an explanation, for how I have been acting. I'm just trying to find the words to explain it properly." I muttered, now desperately trying to find Mel's eyes which seemed to be avoiding my direction.

The silence was broken a few moments later.

"You left me" croaked Mel. The crack in her voice held the pain which my actions had caused her.

"N-no I didn't not like that" The desperation in my voice was evident, I understood why Mel had felt this way but I would never leave her, not for good.

"I just needed space; everything was getting too much." Mel's eyes were now locked on mine as she searched my facial expression for answers.

Taking a deep sigh, I knew this was my chance to get everything off my chest.

"Being an athlete with an injury is so hard. Your whole routine is disrupted as though your world has done a complete 180 flip, from training everyday to struggling to do the basic things of walking to the toilet. I've been fortunate enough to have a few injuries only ever throughout my career, but this one has been the worst. I feel as though I have no purpose, and the fact I have to rely on your help to do simple tasks became a bit too much. It was nothing that you did or didn't do and I'm sorry for letting myself get into my own head. But I –"

Tears were now streaming down my face as my words were interrupted by the quiet sobs I had been holding back since I first began the explanation.

Without warning, Mel's hand slowly found its way to mine where she interlocked her fingers around mine. Offering the reassurance, I had been longing for.

"Breathe Le, take your time" She nodded.

My heart skipped a beat at her calling me Le.

"I can't lose you" I sobbed harder than before, struggling to control my breathing.

Mel edged herself to the middle of the sofa as she closed the gap which was originally between the two of us. Her right hand was still firmly holding mine as she used her left hand to guide my head to her chest where she held me, stroking her fingers through my hair in a bid to calm me down.

"Lose me? Why would you lose me Le? I'm not going anywhere." Her voice was delicate as she placed a soft kiss to the top of my head.

"I've seen other people who have gone through this injury, and it has caused such a strain on their relationship which has caused the relationship to break. I don't want that to happen with us. I thought that the more you had to help me, the more likely you were to grow tired of doing so and would eventually end up leaving me"

"Le that would never ever happen. I love you so much and so I want to help you as much as you can. Seeing you in pain breaks my heart, so the more I can help you the less pain you are likely to be in."

I slowly lifted my head from Mel's chest but remaining as close as possible allowing me to look at her.

"But what if it gets too much?"

"I promise you it won't, and if I feel like we need extra help throughout your recovery, I promise you that I will talk to you about it."

Her words were the reassurance I needed; I knew deep down Mel would never leave but that didn't stop the worrying which occurred often when I had too much time to overthink things.

The tightness of my chest and the anxiousness had now faded, however, there was one more thing that I needed to address with Mel, and this would be the deciding factor as to whether this talk had truly been successful or not.

"Uhm.... There is one more thing" I muttered.

"Go on" Mel gently smiled, causing a slight smile to curl my own lips.

"Can I come back home please?"

There was a moment of silence as Mel seemed to think about her answer, leaving me within anticipation, she would of course have the right to require space for a few days considering I was the one to leave and run to my mums in the first place.

"Of course, you can silly, I've missed you."

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth, before I was able to respond, Mel's lips were attached to mine. The kiss was a soft, loving kiss which was full of passion. The emotions over the last few weeks were evident within the kiss, which caused a small groan to escape from Mel. Causing me to smile into the kiss as it became clear she had been longing for me, as much as I had been longing for her during our time apart.

The remainder of the evening was spent how we usually spend our evenings, cuddled up on the sofa as we watched our favourite series on Netflix, taking turns to hold one another. The words of affection which were shared between us were natural and made my heart even more content. I was back in the one place which always allowed me to feel safe, and that was within Mel's arms.

Despite it only being a few days part, it was clear we both missed the presence of one another, and I knew in this moment Mel was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.