We can only learn to love by loving

Part 15

After that game, things between Leah and I had changed, we seemed to grow apart. I knew it was down to me, Leah telling her mum I was just a 'friend' had hit a nerve, it reconfirmed that maybe I was in fact I was more into her than she was too me. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting a full introduction, but her not telling me her mum would be there and then playing it off as if I was one of her teammates had really gotten too me.

Flashback

Leah

Hey, I was just wondering if I could come over. You left quickly after the game before I had chance to ask if you wanted to hangout xx

Mel

Not tonight.

Leah

Is everything okay? You seem a bit off? X

Mel

Yep

Leah

There's obviously something wrong? Please can you tell me? X

Mel

Why are you so bothered Leah? I'm just a friend, remember.

Leah

Huh? Is this about what I said to my mum?

I decided not to respond to Leah's text, I didn't want to say something that I would regret. I thought by doing so, she would have gotten the message that I didn't want to talk, the last thing I expected was for her to turn up that same day at my apartment.

As I got up from the sofa to see who was knowing intensely, I was greeted with the beautiful blonde, who was stood holding a bouquet of white roses. My favourites.

"I brought treats" she grinned as I stood staring at the girl in front of me.

I wasn't in the mood to talk about everything tonight, but I also couldn't turn her away.

As I rolled my eyes, I held the door slightly wider, gesturing for her to come inside. I couldn't help but notice the sign of relief on Leah's face as I didn't turn her away.

Walking into my apartment, she placed a gentle kiss on my cheek before allowing herself to get comfortable on the sofa.

After putting the white roses into a vase, I made my own way to the sofa, leaving a small gap between Leah and I. Although I wasn't happy with Leah at the moment, I couldn't help but warm to her when in her presence.

When it was just the two of us, she made me feel on top of the world and like I'm her number 1 priority as she shows me nothing but affection. When we are out in public, it's a completely different story, she acts as though I'm a distant friend or just someone that she knows platonically, and that's what I can't get my head around. She either likes me or she doesn't, right?

After a couple of minutes silence, I felt Leah's hand wrap around my shoulders as she gently pulled me towards her, using her other hand to lay my head on her chest. Placing a delicate kiss to the crown of my head, her fingers began to run though my hair as we lay and watched Netflix.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." Leah whispered.

"It's okay."

I knew I shouldn't of just brushed it off, but I didn't want Leah to feel guilty or even have to open up again about my feelings. Leah wasn't the best at communicating when it came to her own feelings and I had gotten tired trying to make her do so, so instead I opted to just leave it there. Afterall, she had made the effort to come and see me tonight, and even brought my favourite flowers.

End of flashback

The relationship between Leah and I, hadn't progressed, nor had it gotten worse. Which left me more confused than ever. As usual, whilst out in public anyone who saw us would thing everything was purely platonic, however behind closed doors, it was as though she couldn't keep her hands off me.

We had seen each other a few times this week as we took it in turns to go round to each other's apartments, however this was the first Saturday in a while that we would be spending it apart.

Leah had been invited to an awards show and so I opted to stay at home to have a relaxing night in. As I gotten changed into fresh pyjamas, I decided to open a bottle of wine before making my way to the living room where I aimlessly scrolled to find something to watch.

For a Saturday night, there wasn't a lot of options. Instead, I decided to watch one of my favourite films, just go with it. Adam Sandler was one of my favourite actors, I love his films. But I also have a slight girl crush on Jennifer Aniston.

My night consisted of me drinking numerous glasses of wine, and binge watching my favourite films. Just after my second film of the night, I checked the time and decided it was time to bed. Although I wasn't seeing Leah tonight, we had arranged to go out for some lunch tomorrow and so I didn't want to drink too much wine which would cause me to be hungover tomorrow.

As I entered the bathroom, I began my nightly skincare routine before making my way to bed.

After pulling back the covers and climbing into bed, I decided to have a scroll through my social media. A decision, I would quickly regret.

Quickly scrolling through Facebook and liking a few posts from my family members, I opted to open twitter instead.

As the twitter app loaded and my timeline had refreshed, that's when I saw it.

I was instantly greeting by a picture of Leah, and Jordan Nobbs. I hadn't met Jordan and so I don't know her personally, however when me and Leah first started getting to know one another, I was quickly made aware of who Jordan was. Leah had told me how fans had shipped the two of them together and would begin rumours that the pair were together. Leah had told me that nothing had ever happened between her, and Jordan and they were just close friends. Of course, at the time I had no reason to not believe Leah, however the rumours of what the fans had been saying about the pair, were clearly not rumours and are in fact true.

Staring intently at the image on my phone screen, I noticed how Leah had her right hand placed onto Jordan's thigh as her left hand cupped one of Jordan's cheeks, Jordan had both hands-on Leah's face holding her in place as their lips locked together. My heart felt as though it had shattered into a thousand pieces, the pit in my stomach felt like no feeling I had ever felt before. Tears immediately began to stream down my face as my mouth had become dry, unable to peel my eyes away from the image, my tears quickly turned into sobs.

So many thoughts racked through my brain. Is this why she had called me just a friend too her mum? Is this why we were not yet official? Is this why she acted differently with me in public?

I was devastated at this revelation. I thought Leah was a kind, gentle, person whose loyalty went unmatched to those she cared about. Obviously, she didn't care that much about me. It was funny in a way, not ha ha funny but funny in the sense of I had allowed myself to naturally fall for Leah, to the point where I would say I was beginning to fall in love with her. And yet her feelings could not be more opposite as she was out kissing another girl, in public.

I'm not entirely sure what the situation was between Leah and Jordan, or how this had even come about tonight. Was Leah aware that the image of the pair kissing had gone viral? I hadn't spoken to her this morning as I didn't want to mither her or spoil her night by continuingly texting her.

However, I done the one thing that I could think of at this moment. I screenshotted the image and then sent the image to Leah, with no text or emojis, just the image. After watching the message quickly turning to delivered, I switched my phone off, knowing I didn't want to deal with her explanation or excuses tonight.

Placing my phone onto my bedside table I rolled over to face in the opposite direction, the tears still slowly falling down my cheeks which eventually caused me to close my eyes and fall asleep.

Was this the end of me and Leah?