for the hope of it all // Sebastian Sallow x reader

Pt 2 Chapter 28: The Calm Before The Storm

Sebastian's POV

Waking up next to Y/n is the best thing I know in the entire world. Out of all the good things that exist in this world, this might just be the very best one. She's still lying on my chest, the way we fell asleep last night, and while my back is reminding me of my recent trauma, I choose to ignore it for just a little while to look at her. Her breathing is heavy and she looks so innocent when she's asleep, that there's nothing in the world worrying her. But of course I know that's not true. I always thought that I had been through the worst things someone could go through and that might be true, but I know that she's carrying more than anyone should ever have to.

There's something in me that's desperate to protect her, to save her. Maybe it's because she once did that for me. But I know she doesn't want, nor need, to be saved. What she needs is someone to help her out, to be there for her and to hold her together when she's falling apart. I do all of that gladly, but I sometimes worry that I'm not enough. That I someday won't be able to do all that for her and the thought haunts me. But when I'm looking at her now. Her messy hair, the freckles on her cheeks and the curve of her nose I feel nothing but happiness. Happy over the fact that I kept my heart open to her, even in times when she wasn't very gentle with it. Because I continued to fight because I knew there was more to us than kissing on astronomy tables and long night talks in the Undercroft.

I carefully put her to the side, placing a pillow under her head so she can sleep a little bit longer and place a soft kiss on her cheek before removing a strand of hair from her face. I get the sudden urge to write, so I head over to the neatly decorated desk. The only things on it are parchment and a quill. That's all I need, since my biggest source of inspiration is lying right in front of me. I had always loved art and literature ever since I was a child. It was something that brought me peace and when I learned to write I knew I wanted to become a writer. It's something so human about art. The fact that we don't create it for our survival or because we really need it, but simply for our own pleasure.

But my inspiration is interrupted by the fact that my back is causing me to feel extreme pain. I had been hesitant to show Y/n the wound since it stretched from my neck to my lower back. Not because I think she wouldn't love me because of it, but rather because she might pity me. And nothing makes me feel smaller than when I'm being pitied.

She soon wakes up and I walk over to her, sitting down on the sofa next to her.

''Good morning, darling,'' I say in a soft voice and place a kiss on the tip of her nose.

''Hi,'' she says in a sleepy voice.

''You slept well?'' I ask her and lay down next to her, holding her firmly.

''Mhm,'' she says and moves closer to me, her back against my chest and our legs pressed together.

There's nothing I love more than being close to her. I feel as if I get drunk by the taste of her skin, by her touch and her scent. It all seems like a gentle reminder that she really is the best thing to have ever happened to me. When she told me about her visit to Paris, my first instinct was to read about the city in desperate search of finding pieces of her in it. And she is the first person who I can imagine forever with, which is why I will do whatever it takes to make sure we get that.

I spend the day with Ominis in the library, studying for the N.E.W.T.s. Neither of us have a clue what we want to do once we're out of Hogwarts. Of course, I want to write. But I don't feel confident enough yet to rely on it as a solid career. Maybe it's best to find a proper job, just to write in my freetime. At least for starters.

''This is hopeless,'' I complain to Ominis, who is studying hard.

''Stop complaining and try to study,'' he says seriously.