for the hope of it all // Sebastian Sallow x reader

Chapter 1: The Letter

Summer slipped away and as the evenings started getting darker and colder, I could not help myself thinking about him. It had been over three months since he did the worst things one could do, right in front of my eyes. When I close my eyes I still see how the light went out of his. One small action with massive consequences. Yet, I kept finding myself wondering about him. Why he wasn't there to celebrate when Slytherin won the house cup. How he was holding up, now that he no longer had Anne by his side in Feldcroft. If he ever thought of me.

Sometimes the flashbacks destroy me. Leaving me sleepless for nights. The Cruciatus Curse and how he said ''You have to mean it'' as he thought me how to cast it. How did he manage to hurt me in a way that was unthinkable for me to hurt him? At times I think that maybe all I ever was to him, was an excuse to practice dark magic. Maybe even some sort of muse. But I also felt something between us. An almost electric energy and an addictive sensation I could not seem to get rid off. Not even now.

I walk over to my small desk and sit down. The blank paper stares in my face, almost as if it's mocking my inability to actually sit down and write him. I tried multiple times before, but each attempt was unsuccessful. Eventually I reach for my quill, hesitating but then I decide that it's time.

Dear Sebastian,

I hope summer has treated you well. It has been some time since we spoke and things were pretty messy where we left off before the school year ended. I spent the summer with my parents travelling around Europe. We saw the most beautiful places and met lots of their friends from school. My favorite was Paris. I don't know if you've ever been there, but it sure is a magic place. There must be something in the air because artists from all over the world choose to come there to pursue their dreams. The city is filled with hope, since it did not so long ago almost turn to ruins from revolutions. But they built the city back up and it is almost as if you can touch your dreams whilst in Paris. You should go there if you ever get the chance.

I miss Hogwarts. Of course I have friends in the muggle world, but I can't tell them about the events of last year. My parents don't understand and fear to send me back there, but I know I must go back because it is the first place I ever felt like I belonged surrounded by people who understand me.

I have been thinking about you and I want to know about your summer. How are you holding up?

Love,

Y/n

I let out a sigh of relief. Now that I've finished the letter it was not so hard to write. It was not a very deep message I was trying to send him, but rather a hand reaching out. I hand it over to Aurora, my snow owl that I bought in Diagon Alley right after getting off the Hogwarts Express in London.

''Take this to Sebastian in Feldcroft.'' I say. Aurora looks back at me before she flies out the window and grabs the letter with her feet.

A cold breeze from the window strokes my cheek and I look at Aurora flying in the night. She looks majestic. I see a leaf falling from one of the trees in my backyard and I feel something flutter in my chest, as that indicates that September 1st is not far away.

As I wake up the next morning I wonder if Aurora already got to Feldcroft. I smile to myself, imagining Sebastian sitting at his kitchen table writing me back. These kind of fantasies have kept me going all summer, but during the nights the flashbacks drags me down. As I approach the kitchen I see my parents sitting at the kitchen table sipping on their morning coffee.

''Good morning'' Y/n my mother says. My father gives me a kind nod.

''Morning'' I reply trying to reach one of the coffee mugs on the highest shelves. I shrug, thinking to myself that it would be so much easier if I could just use magic to get it down. My father is reading the newspapers and my mother is reading one of her cooking magazines. I glance at the pudding on the page she's currently reading and hope that she does not decide to cook it.

''It is almost September 1st, how are you feeling?'' My mother asks me, barely looking up from her magazine.

''I'm thrilled for a new year, all the courses are so interesting'' I say with passion.

''I presume you intend on staying behind the castle walls this year'' My father says with a determined tone. ''I want to hear nothing about you chasing dark wizards or sneaking out of that castle''

''I will try my best, but I cannot promise such a thing.'' I say lightly but with a serious tone to it. My father shrugs his head and my mother looks up from her magazine.

''You must promise. I cannot stand the thought of you fighting those old and skilled wizards by yourself. It is your life you're risking!'' She says and I can see that her eyes are filling up with tears.

''I never fought alone.'' I lie.

''You stay on the school grounds, or you will come back and continue school here.'' My father ends the conversation. I let his message sink in, as I finish my cup of coffee.

Days pass and I hear nothing from Sebastian. I wonder if he's okay. Maybe he moved after all the turbulence and wanted a place that would not remind him of his sister. I pull out my trunk from under the bed and open it up. I did not even bother to pack it up when I came back home, except for my Slytherin scarf. Not that I needed it during summer, but I wanted to see it to be reminded of my house and Hogwarts. I carefully fold it and put it at the top of the coffin, as I close it. I am ready to leave for Hogwarts tomorrow. Just as I walk up to the window to close it I see a brown owl flying in the night sky. I tell myself I'm just imagining things. But it is coming closer, and closer. It lands on my desk and has a letter tied to its leg and I quickly unfold it. I recognize the handwriting. It's Sebastian.

To my disappointment the letter is not nearly as filled as mine. Just one single sentence.

Meet me at the Hogwarts Express