After dinner in the Great Hall I see Garreth waving at me, signalizing for me to come over to him. I haven't spoken to him since I was in the Hospital Wing. For some reason I feel the need to tell him that I have no romantic interest in him, but I am also conflicted as I'm unsure whether or not he actually feels a spark between us.
''Hi there,'' I tell him with a smile.
''Hi Y/n,'' he gives me a sincere smile. ''Feeling better?''
He reaches his arms out for a hug and I give in. It's a short, friendly hug. As he lets me go, he's looking into my eyes still smiling.
''I do, actually,'' I tell him and avoid his eye contact. I notice Sebastian sitting at the Slytherin table, burning his eyes onto me. Before we made up, it would have felt good knowing that he was watching. But now I'm feeling awful, knowing that I'm hurting both of them.
''Glad to hear,'' he says in a soft voice. ''I have barely seen you around lately.''
This is my chance to tell him. To be honest. Hopefully we can remain friends, as that is what we have always been.
''Care to join me for a short walk?'' I ask him, not wanting to take this up in front of everyone.
''As long as it doesn't involve brooms or all the other crazy things you seem to always stumble upon,'' Garreth jokes and carefully shoves me in front of him. His hand on my back lingers for longer than I'm comfortable with, so I fasten my step.
It's dark outside and the air is bitingly cold. Garreth seems to have no idea about what is yet to come and I'm not sure how I'm feeling about that. We start walking down towards the Black Lake, where a thick layer of fog is covering all of the ground as well as the lake.
''I've been spending quite a lot of time with Sebastian,'' I tell him in a calm voice.
Garreth stops walking for a second and looks at me in confusion.
''Are you for real?'' he asks, sounding a bit surprised and upset. Potentially both. I nod. ''Wow. Not what I was expecting. At all.''
''I'm sorry for not telling you sooner,'' I sound as compassionate as I possibly can, but I know this one hurts no matter how kind the person apologizing is.
''I thought you were done with the bad boys,'' he says, stopping once again and looks at me with pained eyes. ''I know we haven't seen each other for very long, but I really care about you. And your heart. He stomped on yours. How could you possibly want something like that again?''
He's asking the exact question I had asked myself so many times before I made up my mind. I do know the response, but I also know how long it took for me to accept the answer. So I'm unsure whether or not it's worth telling him. But I choose to tell him.
''Because I love him,'' I say. Not at all what I intended to say, but the words just slipped out. Garreth stops and puts a hand on my arm.
''You love him?'' he sounds doubtful. ''I will never understand love.''
We continue walking for a little bit in silence. It feels pressed, but it also doesn't feel like he's upset with me.
''If you love him, I understand why I stand no chance,'' he tells me in a low voice. ''But please tell me, did you ever care for me?''
''Of course I care about you,'' I tell him firmly. ''But not in the way you maybe needed, or wanted, me to.''
''I guess I always had a feeling,'' Garreth says in a low and disappointed voice. ''I knew I stood no chance against what the two of you had. I just really like you and wanted to see what could happen. But most of all, I hope you can find someone who appreciates you and never lets you go to sleep wondering if you're worthy of love.''
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for the hope of it all // Sebastian Sallow x reader
Fanfiction''You seriously need to stop calling me your friend,'' Sebastian tells me in a low voice. ''Then what should I call you?'' I ask curiously. My stomach is fluttering like never before. ''I haven't quite figured it out just yet. But 'friend' is not it...
