In the End ~ Wednesday x Xavier ~ SLOW-BURN

Chapter 57

"So much more was said in the unsaid."

~~~

Wednesday looked at her reflection, frowning as she pinched the skin around her ribs. She hated it, the way her frame wasn't very thin, curved like her mother's. Why she even bothered with that, she didn't know. It wasn't intentional, but she couldn't help but feel as if...as if Xavier would have preferred her to have a thinner waist, thinner figure. She turned sideways, sucking her stomach in as her eyebrows furrowed, and she found herself choking back the urge to cry. This was weak, it was weak to let such intrusive and puny thoughts invade her mind, when did it ever matter how others perceived her? The mirror seemed to mock her, pointing out the flaws, the scars, the marks that haunted her skin, permanent reminders of a painful past. She quickly slid her shirt on, taking one last look at her reflection before shaking her head, wiping any hint that she was near crying as she brushed her hair. Her fingers glided through her hair, putting them in its usual pigtails as she let out a heavy sigh. 

Now that the end of the school year was approaching, everyone seemed to be at ease, counting down the days until school ended. They were on day 15, and she wasn't sure whether to feel anxious to get home for a while or if she wanted to remain at Nevermore. She figured she would still get to see her friends, but it wouldn't be the same as being in general proximity to them. With a small frown, she sat against the frame of her bed, the worn journal that Xavier had given her resting in her lap. 

She planned to rid herself of the journal, and perhaps get a new one for the start of the school year. There was no need to bring last year's troubles and allow them to follow her around for the new year. It might prove to be satisfying to burn the thing, letting every fear, emotion, and tear-drop-stained page burn in the dead of night, inhaling the smoky scent that would soon be the journal. Or maybe, instead of ridding the journal so quickly, she might make a memoir, a children's nursery rhyme out of the things that haunted even the oldest souls. 

A small smile played on her lips as she wrote down how she felt, but her thoughts were no longer on the words she wrote. They were indeed on the boy, perhaps he would want to burn his too, to show that they are letting go of the past, and looking forward to the future. She paused, flipping back a few pages to the love letter she had written just days prior. Did she want to rid herself of those too? 

She carefully ripped out the pages, flipping through and collecting them as she sat them in a small pile, compiling more than she had realized as she made it to the cover. About 7 pages covered front and back rested at her side, and she smiled at them before going back to her most recent writing. 

Somehow this newfound insecurity had found its way down on the page, screaming out at her as she shut the journal slowly, frowning deeply as she sat there. Thing hopped up, tapping at her as she looked at him

*What's wrong* (trying this out!)

"It is simply an irrational thought. Nothing is wrong Thing, why do you assume so?"

*You're frowning.*

"I am always frowning Thing, this isn't a foreign expression for me."

*That isn't your resting frown, it's the one you make when you feel down.*

Wednesday groaned, climbing off her bed and walking to the floor-length mirror once more as she looked at her reflection, staring back at the body she was now growing to dislike. The feelings were getting to her, and she felt that familiar lump in her throat. When she started gaining more emotions, she hadn't planned for insecurity to be one of them. It was shameful, to step out and try something just for it to be crushed in the palm of her hand. She liked torture, but this was a kind she didn't find pleasure in.