ZARA

CHAPTER 58

A hand tugs my arm back sharply and i wince as my back hits the wall.

"Youre fucking doing this on purpose" he seethes. He's really angry. "I cant even fucking touch you to make sure youre okay and you let him fucking kiss you and hold you?!" he almost screams.

"Stop, he's a childhood friend, and dont be ridiculous, you know exactly why you cant touch me." i say angrily.

"I made a mistake, you fucking ran off to London and you asked my mother for me to not approach what the fuck did you want me to do?" he shouts at me.

"That hurts" i sob suddenly making his eyes widen. "Youre hurting m-me" i say and he suddenly lets go. I hold on to my throbbing arm.

"Im sorry, baby, fuck" he tries coming closer and i hold out a hand and see a hurt expression flash in his eyes. "Zara..." he sighs.

"Why are you even angry!?" i scream.

"Because since the minute that motherfucker stepped in here, he's been all over you, touching you kissing you holding you, i dont fucking care who he is he cant-"

"You dont get a say!" i shout making him shut up.

"Yes i do" he seethes walking closer. I look up into his eyes with tears in mine.

"You dont." i hiccup. "Im not yours" i say making his face fall. "Not anymore" i cry and his eyes flash with hurt. I look away from him.

My heart hurts. It physically hurts.

So does my head. Im so dizzy my head is pounding.

"Just leave me alone, why cant you leave me, just leave me" i sob shaking my head and i bring up a hand to my forehead and rub, my eyebrows furrowing.

CHRISTIANOS POV

"You dont." a small hiccup leaves her. "Im not yours" she says. Fuck. I feel my face fall. "Not anymore" she cries and my heart clenches. Fuck no.

She looks away and shakes her head.

"Just leave me alone, why cant you leave me, just leave me" she cries as her hand comes up to rub her forehead.

I watch as her eyebrows furrow and her hand reaches out and i quickly grab it.

"Zara?" i ask but she just goes limp and i catch her waist before she can fall to the ground. "Fuck" i shout. "Jared!" i roar loudly and my manager comes running to where we are. His eyes widen at the sight. "Call the fuckin driver to pull up the car" i say loudly as i pick her up bridal style and carry her down to the car.

I place her in the back seat with her head in my lap. Fuck. I shake her head.

"Zara baby, open your eyes please" i say. My voice sounds foreign and soft. I huff and look up to the road but instead I see the driver looking at me with wide eyes in the mirror. "What the fuck are you looking at, fucking drive faster figlio di puttana" i spit and he pales and hits the gas.
(Son of a bitch)

Her words echo in my mind.

Just leave me.

"Never baby, im never leaving you or letting you leave again" i hold her limp body closer. I remember the way she was crying, she looked tired. "Im so sorry baby, im sorry" i whisper kissing her hair.

~

Im pacing the hallway outside the room in which they took her.

Her words and expressions are running through my head and I feel my chest constrict at the sound of her cries.

Shit.

I run a hand through my hair and sigh.

The door opens and i turn to see the doctor look at me cautiously.

I may have shouted at him and everyone in the hospital.

"Shes better now Mr. De'Marco, she was exhausted, most probably on an empty stomach for several hours now" he informs. What the fuck. "A-are you her husband or...?" he trails off. I know he's scared of me.

"No we're not married." i tell him. "Yet" i say and he nods.

"I-if you dont mind, since you aren't married, i would like to respect the patients privacy and disclose the rest of her condition to her personally when she wakes up shortly?" he asks scared of my reaction.

Her condition? I just nod since he clearly doesn't want to tell me and i do respect my baby.

He nods.

"You can go in, she should be up in a while, i will be right back." he says walking away.

I sigh and look at the door. Should I go in? What if i just make her more angry? Fuck it.

I walk in to see her frail looking body on the bed. Fuck i did her so wrong.

She was sweet and caring and loving. And all i was, was an asshole. I dont deserve her, thats for sure. But i dont know how to let go. I dont know how to watch her be with someone else.

Just the thought makes my blood boil. I sigh and look at her.

I think back to the conversation I had with Mama yesterday after Zara left the house.

I was out in the garden smoking when she came out.

"Chris?" I heard her ask and i quickly put out my cigarette. "Are you okay figlio?" she asks.
(son)

"Sì Mama, Im fine" i sigh. She looks at me with sympathetic eyes.

"Alaia told me why you were angry at Zara that day" she mentions and i look into her eyes. She smiles sadly. "Caro, you will always be my little boy, even when im angry, youre my son, you should always give your reasoning, try to fix things." She says caressing my cheek.

"I know you like to act tough. Youre my strong boy. But showing love doesn't make you weak, Christiano, loving someone makes you stronger" she says. "Im sorry i was hard on you. I was sad listening to Zara. But I didnt forget you baby, I know youre strong, but everyone needs someone to lean on once in a while, sì?" she asks and I nod.

"I understand you were angry because you felt betrayed. If it had been her being unfaithful, I would've understood what you did. But thats still no excuse for your language, words hurt, i dont want you to use that word anymore, sì?" she asks.

"Sì Mama, Mi dispiace" i say and she smiles.
(Im sorry)

"I acted that way because when your papa told my papa he liked me, my Mama called me a whore" my eyes snap to her. She smiles sadly. "She said i was supposed to marry her sisters son, but the Don asked for my hand and they couldn't say no. She said it in anger, she apologised after. And ive forgiven her. But the damage the words did was emence. I just didnt want Zara to feel what I did" she shrugs.

I pull my mama into a hug.

"Im sorry" i whisper.

"I know love." she says pulling away. "And I know you really like her. Apologise, maybe, if youre ready, tell her you like her too. You'd be surprised the wonders a few reassuring words do to a woman" she smiles. "Go to bed soon lovey, buona notte" she pats my cheek and walks inside.

The beeping of the heart monitor brings me back.

"What do i do baby" i whisper stroking her soft hair.