Saving Me

Chapter 44

"We're having girl time so shut off the fucking cameras!" Jess yelled as she dropped bags of snacks on Lynn's bed then plopped down on it beside her. Once she saw the red light turn off she grabbed a Twizzler and started chewing on it. "So, what's the deal with you and my brothers? I thought I would walk into some PDA or something not just find you sitting on Owen's lap, although that is something new. Come on Girl, what's the deal? You told me Gabe kissed you on the lips for fucks sake!"

Lynn sighed and flopped back onto her bed. She ran her hands over her face and sighed again, I don't know honestly. Well I do but I don't. They made it perfectly clear that they want a relationship with me.

"Okay?" Jess asked sitting up, "so once again what's the deal?" Lynn sat up and bit her lip then pointed to herself. "You think you aren't worthy of them?" Lynn nodded softly. "Hey Sis, come on, you so deserve their love. I can't believe I am about to say this but those yahoos out there definitely deserve you. You are amazing. I know you don't feel it but you are."

Lynn sighed in frustration I just have all these thoughts and what ifs filling my brain constantly to the point I think I'm going to explode at any moment. My anxiety is so bad even with the medicine Sean has been giving me. I hate making any decision at all and as much as I want them to want me I can't stop fearing that if I can finally convince my heart and mind to try and love again that I will become too much for them and end up broken even more than before and I just don't think I would be able to handle losing them. I don't think I would be able to survive trying to love then getting hurt again. Hell, I don't even know how to love anymore.

"Do you want my honest opinion?" Jess asked shoving the candy to the side so Lynn knew she was about to have a serious conversation. Lynn nodded and Jess smirked, "honestly Sis, it sounds like you just need to become their Sub and let them become your Doms." Lynn looked at her in shock and confusion. "Your ex wasn't a true Dom. A Dom wants to feel needed and a sub needs to feel wanted. They work together to create a beautiful relationship that benefits everyone. And what most people don't understand is that the Sub actually holds all the power. Yes the Dom controls everything for the Sub in the relationship but that all ends the moment the Sub decides they have had enough. The sub may choose to follow the rules the Dom lays out but its by the Sub's choice. The moment the Sub says no more a true Dom stops and the relationship ends. That's why communication is so powerful in a Dom/Sub relationship. It only truly works with proper honest communication. If you let the guys become your Doms then they can help controlling your anxiety better and actually teach you about true love. You already have a bond with them, I have seen it. You crave those jerks in there, you crave their touch and presence, don't you? I've seen how you relax around them, hell you relax just by hearing their voice over the phone, that doesn't happen with just anyone Sis. That's part of being a true Dom to their Sub, the Dom's presence soothes and comforts their Sub. A Dom," Jess sighed and thought about it for a moment then shrugged, "A Dom calms the chaos in a sub's head. They silence the thoughts that are threatening to make a Sub question their sanity, being in a Dom's arms is where the Sub feels the safest, it's their home. Be honest, Sis, is that how you feel with my brothers?" Lynn bit her lip then nodded and Jess smiled, "Well then it sounds like you are already their Sub and there just haven't been any declarations about it yet."

It scares me how much I rely on them, Lynn sighed, It scares me how much power they seem to already have over me. They don't even realize how much I depend on them. I don't think I could give them any more of me but at the same time if they were to ask I would and it scares the hell out of me.

"Giving them that much power is a very scary thing," Jess nodded then smiled, "But at the same time it will be the best thing to ever happen to you. Those men out there will show you the world if you were to ask. They would treat you like a damn queen and help you overcome all your worries while constantly providing you the assurance you crave while making sure it's not a problem for them. Hell there are fourteen of them, even if one is busy there's another one that can be there for you. Remember what I said, a sub needs to feel wanted and a dom wants to feel needed. You would give them the need that they want and they will most definitely give you the want you need. It will work out perfectly, you just need to give them the chance."

How you do know so much about this? Lynn asked then gasped, Do you have a Dom or more than one?

"I do," Jess smiled, "but that's for another girl talk day. Will you give those brats a chance?"

Jess bounced down the stairs and walked into the living room. "Hey, done with girl talk all ready?" Kota asked as he shut the book he held open.

"Knock it off," Jess rolled her eyes, "I know you didn't turn off the cameras, you just turned off the light, I'm not stupid." They looked down ashamed. "Anyway," She sighed, "I won't be telling you about my Doms because it's still new and I'm not having you scare them away so don't even try investigating or I'm going to get Momma involved." They nodded and she smirked, "Just keep taking it slow with her, she's scared and her mind is getting the best of her. Keep reassuring her that she wont come between you and she wont be too much for you. Also keep up with the praises. You just need to help with the anxiety and help her understand the relationship between a true Dom and Sub. She's scared about how much power you already have as her Doms, show her it isn't a bad thing and it will be okay for her to give you more. Keep showing her she is making the right decision." Her phone rang and she waved then walked out the door. They looked at one another then raced up to her room where they found her cleaning up from all the snacks. She looked at them in confusion. They smiled as they entered her room.