Saving Me

Chapter 36

I will most likely not be on in the next few days, I am having dental work done tomorrow. It will just depend on what they have to do on my mouth to treat these exposed nerves and how I heal on when I will be able to work on these stories again. I will continue working on them as soon as I can, sorry for the delays but I promise I will work on them just as soon as I feel up to it.

Lynn looked up and smiled softly when she saw Axel and North talking about redoing the garden a little in the distance. They were giving her space but at the same time still close by to give her comfort and sense of safety. Max was laying at her feet sleeping softly. Sean was in the swimming pool doing laps, everything was calm and peaceful. She went back to painting and soon became lost in her work.

Max lifted his head after a couple of hours, catching her attention. She turned to see the rest of the group heading her way. Her heart felt complete now that she saw everyone was there. "Hey Sis, damn that looks good," Jess bounced down next to her in the gazebo. "Silas and North are going to have to make a frame for this, I want it in my room."

"Nope, it's going in my office," Owen shook his head and Jess rolled her eyes.

"Whatever she will just make an even better one," Jess smirked. "You guys can't have everything she makes, I get some stuff too, quit being greedy with her. You already took the 3d puzzles from me."

"No," Luke called out, "We can be as greedy as we want when it comes to Cupcake."

"Yeah," Gabe called out, "You got to have her all through fucking high school and while you fucking worked together, it's our turn to be goddamn clingy to Trouble!"

"Yeah!" Nathan called out, "you can't have her all the time!"

Lynn shook her head and went back to her painting. She enjoyed the little bickering and talking that was surrounding her. She realized she didn't feel fully comfortable until the whole group was around her and it kind of confused her. She knew part of it was that she worried about them when they weren't in her sight but that wasn't all of it. She didn't feel whole unless she was with them. She wondered if the little comments Jess would occasionally make held some truth to it and not just be jokes. But could they really care about her like that and not just as a little sister or their sister's best friend? Could she really have what Lilly had with her husbands one day? Did they truly like her like that? Sure they cared for her but was it just as a little sister or was it more than that? She thought back to the forehead kisses and how they held her at times. Everything was at her consent she realized, if she felt uncomfortable then they stopped and they made sure that she knew she could stop their affection at any time. They requested permission most of the time and didn't push. She really appreciated that and she realized that they made sure she knew that they appreciated everything she did for them. She thought back and realized that her ex never did that and then she started comparing her time with these guys to her husband and realized just how different they were. Was Lily right and they were wrapped around her finger or was Lily just imagining things? She knew they cared about her but to what degree? She certainly thought her husband cared about her but now she was questioning if he really did or if he was just using her for his needs. She began to wonder if she even knew what love really was.

"Here you go Pookie," Sean said as he held out his hand and she looked away from her painting. Seeing the pill she nodded and took the pill with her flavored water. "It's not going to work instantly but within two weeks we should be able to see if it is working or not, okay?" She nodded and he smiled. "It won't take away all the anxiety, but it may help some."

She nodded and mouthed Thank you and he nodded then went back to swimming. She looked around to see Marc and Brandon grilling while Kota was playing with Max. Axel and North was joined by Silas discussing something about the garden. Owen and Victor were discussing Victor's upcoming performance. Luke, Gabe, and Corey had joined Sean and Nathan in the swimming pool. Jess was sunbathing and Raven was in the far distance practicing with his new gun. This is how she wanted to spend everyday she realized. Could it be possible to have this every day? Was this how her life was suppose to be like? Was this love?