Damaged Hearts

26-Relapse

The moment I step into my house I know somethings off.

Honestly the smell should've been a give away but I didn't want to focus on it.

I didn't want to focus on my nightmares coming true.

I drop my cheer bag beside the front door, taking another step inside.

All the lights are off and the house is too quiet.

"Mom." I call out and I get no response.

I pad my way over to the living room, switching on the lamp beside the couch.

What I see in front of me makes my stomach drop.

My mom lays on the couch, a bottle of tequila beside her.

The bottle is half empty.

I can't fight the tears as they begin to stream down my face.

She was better, she was doing better.

I was right, the preparing couldn't have stopped the feeling inside me of seeing my mom relapse.

I don't realize I began to back away until my back hits the wall.

My knees give out and I collapse to the floor.

I pull my knees up to my chest, putting my face into my arms as I begin to sob.

I should've known it wouldn't have lasted.

I knew I should've encouraged her to go to rehab, I just didn't want to trigger her into going back to alcohol.

My heart begins to hurt at the realization she couldn't even stay sober for two months.

Was it even a month? At this point I cant think about anything but the bottle beside her.

The smell of alcohol lingering through the house.

I'm not sure how long I sit there and cry.

When I finally reach for my phone I realize I had only been crying for thirty minutes.

It feels like hours.

Looking over at her I realize I'm done.

I don't have the energy to clean up her messes anymore.

I am just so tired of it all.

Standing up I go upstairs.

I grab my suitcase and fill it with clothes and other things I'll need. I make sure to grab both of Alex's hoodies as well.

Once I have everything I go back down stairs.

Grabbing a pen and a stick note from the kitchen.

If you can't stay sober I can't live here anymore.