The Royal Harem

XLIII

A/N: Short update for now!

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The hands that attempted to touch him fell on the side as she stared at him in shock. She felt her lips slowly drying while she gulped, trying to find the word to say. Alathea tried to look at his face, noticing his red eyes were voided from any emotions she could see. "When will you be leaving?" was the only thing she asked when her mind had bombarded her with multiple questions. Will you come back? How are you feeling? Do you want to talk about it?

"Tomorrow, at best," he flatly responded. "I came to receive permission from her majesty. This may be a selfish request of mine. However, Lady Madelaine is still—"

"Of course, I'd grant you permission," she claimed. There was a long silence between them. Wolf wanted to step out of the room, but his feet won't budge despite his mind telling him to walk away. Alathea's eyes remained on his hand, wondering if she's allowed to touch it at least. She heard him breathing, but he never attempted to say a word. "Bring anyone you needed in your journey—"

Wolf inhaled sharply, finally gathering his courage to ask, "Will you let me go?" Alathea's eyes widen, and she quickly looked up to see him finally looking at her. Slowly, she nodded, assuring him that she will allow him to go. They both know what he was pertaining about. It wasn't just about him asking permission to visit Valhale, but it is also about their interrupted discussion in the morning. "Was it a lie when you said you would wait until I have properly loved you?" Alathea wanted to say no, but he cut her off. She saw how Wolf bit his lower lip until it slowly bled before continuing, "I hated you from the start. You were the reason why I let my dream with Madelaine go—I chose my responsibility as the prince of my Kingdom instead of running away." Now he had wondered if he gave up his rights as a prince and ran away with Madelaine—would he have been happier? "I envied the seventh imperial consort because he easily gained freedom while my duty imprisoned me like a prince. Then, you suddenly gave me an option to leave—do you think I'd be happy to take it when I had sacrificed everything when I chose to be here?"

Lynx's words had finally made sense. For once, what he said was right. Alathea had become too selfish. She wasn't aware that she had grown tired of pleasing everyone, especially Wolf, whom she felt so disconnected. They both know they were doing their best to make their relationship work, they pretended everything was fine, but it was just too draining.

"I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out from her lips. She took a step forward and noticed that he didn't move an inch, so she pressed her forehead on his chest and said, "this is the only thing I can say to you. I can only repeatedly apologize even though those words wouldn't make you feel better because I don't know what to say. I know you envied Kai; that's why I have selfishly tried also to find a way to let you go. I want you to make decisions for yourself, without tying yourself to the throne or shouldering everyone's expectations—I just want you to live for being you. While I desperately tried to give you that option, I had set aside your own opinion and hurt you in the process." She felt a tear from the eyes but ignored it as she weakly added, "I am such a hypocrite."

Wolf stared blankly in front; his hands remained still in his side while he let her head nestle itself on his chest. We both are. He whispered in his thoughts. "I shall maintain my position in Undine Empire as your eight-imperial consort and as a potential candidate for the Emperor's throne" he placed a hand on her shoulder and politely pushed her away, "even if it means that we do not have to love each other." Alathea felt as if her heart had fallen heavily from her chest; her tear-filled eyes had looked at him with confusion. She tried to open her quivering lips but failed to do so. With his eyes still empty with emotions, he had said his last words, "I will do my duty properly as the consort once I have returned to Valhale. Please excuse me, your majesty" He bowed and finally left the room.