19th december
ross lynch
watching kenzie saying goodbye to her mother who would become her guardian angel up there in heaven was one of the hardest things to do.
she was so beautiful.
her hair was curled perfectly and don't even get me started on her dress, even her glasses that sat on her nose on just the right place just gave me butterflies.
i really do love her.
i recon this will be a new beginning.
i know that that's not what kenzie wanted, to say goodbye, she wanted to keep as much of her mother as possible, but sometimes things don't always work out the way you want them too.
and it's tough.
very tough.
but i know she would've regretted it if she kept hold on her.
the night before was one i couldn't explain, i've always thought about her...in bed
but i was willing to wait, i was here for the long run.
she's stood in front of her mums coffin, we just had the ceremony in this old church, everyone was about to do their speeches after saying their last goodbyes
my suit was extremely itchy and so tight; so just uncomfortable to say the least.
but it was all worth it.
i approached her from behind, i keep my hand on my back as i stand beside her, she sniffles and stares down at the ground quickly wiping her eyes under her glasses
she looks back up and let's go of her mums hands, i frown, i cant imagine doing everything without my mum
i put my arm around her and kept my hand tight on her upper arm, i squeezed her gently before she leant her head into my shoulder crying
i don't wait a minute more before putting both arms around the back of her neck and pulling her into my chest completely, her hands on my chest squashed between us both
it took my back to my files and files on memories i made with her, but one main one.
when we were at school still, she just had a panick attack and i helped her stand up, she was unsteady and fell straight into my arms.
i sighed before leaning down to her ear and whispering "i love you"
she quickly wiped her nose before looking back up at me
"i love you so much"
my heart fluttered at just hearing those words, i could never get sick of hearing that.
i kissed her forehead and pulled her back into me letting her cry, this was hard for me also, my mums just lost her bestfriend also.
after they got vanilla and velour also i knew my mum would also take a hit to this.
talking of family, i get tapped on the shoulder and i lfit my head from kenzies so see my dad stood there waiting for us to go sit again
