august 2014
kenzie louise
"mum..." i took her weak hand in mine
"i love you...and i'm sorry i couldn't spend more time with you" i cried
"i'll stay strong for you" i whispered as more tears trickled down my face
"and i'll miss you s-so so much" i sobbed
i leant my head into her hand and just cried, let it all out.
~
"sorry but, your other family members...they want to say goodbye" the nurse told me from the side of the door
i nodded slowly and stood up as she left, i kissed my mums pale forehead before squeezing her hand one last time
i dragged myself slowly to the door and walked out to see my dad, maddie, max, mason and ross.
ross had his head in his hands with his leg bouncing whilst everyone else was just sloughed around, i saw maddie crying in the corner of my eyes
"you can say your goodbyes now" i gulped
my dad nodding he stood up, alone, and walked to into the room
i sat in his seat next to ross and max and leant my head against the wall behind me; trying not to cry
i saw ross lean up and look at me before putting his head back in his hands
i sat up slowly and rubbed ross' back; i knew he was guilty
he sat up slowly and his leg started bouncing harder and harder against the floor
"it's not your fault, i'm sorry i took it out on you" i smiled weakly
he wiped his red bloodshot eyes before pulling me into a hug, i leant into his chest against the seat and he held me, so tight.
i let the rivers flow that consisted off my eyes non stop crying as he cooed me and shushed me until i was able to breathe again.
a few minutes went by and i felt my legs getting shakier, my breathing was getting faster and it felt like everything was crashing down
i sat up slowly to see my dad leant against the door watching my siblings saying goodbye
ross put his arms around my shoulder and tried pulling me into him but i wasn't moving
he turned more so he could face me more
"hey...hey, hey hey" he rushed when he saw my leg
he put his hand on my thigh to try stop the bouncing but it was so loose that it didn't do anything
he moved his free hand to my cheek and wiped my tears
it got the point where i loosing literal air.
he got up and crouched down in front of me with both his hands on my knees
"look at me" he said
i did as told and looked at him straight in the eyes, i played with the ring he got me on my finger and held my quivering lip
"1...2...3" he said slowly
i breathed in and out and tried my hardest to match his breathing but it only made it worse.
when i was trying to hard to match his breathing it slowed down but got even faster when i couldn't keep up
my eyes starting wandering around the room when i saw my sibling and dad coming out the room
