september 2014
kenzie louise
tomorrow i started college.
everyone had been venturing out of their rooms slowly but surely, the house did feel empty but we all sat and had dinner as a family last night; which was strange for me and i think everyone else too
it was going okay until my father brung up the funeral, knowing i would have to finally let her rest? hurt.
but my dad did say that we were going to have to have it soon or later, letting her rest was what we needed to do.
it had been a few days since then so here i am now, laying on my back in bed with ross on the phone that was laying perfectly in the middle of my stomach whilst i starfished the bed
"you need to get ready" ross whined at me down the phone making me feel even worse unintentionally
"i know ok?" i say bringing my hands up and onto my warm forehead
"don't stress" he told me
"i'm trying not too" i said picking my phone up for my stomach and bringing my face into view whilst we were on facetime
ross was now currently in san diego, god knows how.
he was in his changing room before a show, the time difference had been the same over the few weeks and i'm honestly suprised he hadn't had enough of my moaning and whining down the phone
it was 6:50pm the night before i had college, it was a monday which was odd considering that then meant i started again on a tuesday
if i'm honest i'm not sure what college is going to feel like.
it'll be strange for sure, i hadn't been to school since july and i just knew college was going to be a lot different and much much harder than school
i took music seriously most the time in school, it didn't even feel like my last year there when i left
the whole time i was there i was alone until that one day that ross turned up
he made me feel like i was worth something and he made me feel like there was a matter
before i met him i didn't really know what my 'happiness' was, i wasn't sad all the time or feeling bad about myself or anything like that
but i wasn't particularly happy.
after i lost my bestfriend when i was 13 i knew it was never going to be the same, i'm so scared to drive, petrified even.
she knew the ins and outs of my life, it was like she knew more about my family and me then i even did
"i need to get my stuff readyy" i groan extending the y
i heard ross laugh slightly into the phone as i slowly but surely got myself up
i wasn't really sure what i needed, i wasn't even sure if my classes, i was for sure taking music classes as in learning about the history and playing there but for the others i had no clue
i walk over to the corner of my room that was starting to dust in certain places and pick my bag up
i throw it on my bed and walk over to my drawers to grab my things, opening the draw i took a pack on highlighters that felt like they had been sitting in there for years along with a pen, a pencil, ruler and a few other things before walking back over to my bed and the things in lazily
"when's your show starting?" i ask ross as i go over to shut the draw
he waited a second before replying "in around 60 seconds"
