29th december
kenzie louise
airports.
they give me deju vu more than anything, i remember being here when my parents left for their work job.
man i miss my mum.
after we got a taxi to the airport and had been waved off by ross' side of the family - well some of ross' side of the family
we were going through security and now about to board, i feel like a little kid, when we would go on family holidays.
but i'm not a little kid anymore.
i'm 19 and i'm going on a holiday trip with my boyfriend who i love so much for 3 days.
it may not seem like a lot but i feel more mature, like i'm actually growing up and being able to do all of it with ross is one of the better things.
i'm glad he's the one i'm doing it with though.
i cant imagine not having him.
i'm honestly the luckiest.
i wouldn't want it to be anyone else, i wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else, i'm happy.
i'm happy.
woah...it feels kind of strange to say that now, i didn't even honestly think i'd be here right now, i thought i had lost ross for good
i got knocked out of my own thoughts when ross was pulling me up from my sloughed position in my seat, which i wasn't very happy about because i was comfortable.
idiot.
he's literally a kid, he's running down the pathway to the plane doors, the lady laughing as we give our passwords over
"rosss" i whine as i chase him down the walkway
can i also add how i'm carrying mine and his hand lagguage...you're lucky, he nearly left it when he dragged onto this plane
this flight was 16 hours long.
i honestly don't even know why we're going to thailand, it could be anywhere, preferably closer because i don't exactly love flying
i knew i would probably sleep as the last few days had been rough, rough trying to sleep
i was either up most the night scared to go to sleep because of my nightmares getting worse, or i was waking up every hour because of the nightmares
it was draining.
and i knew i needed help, i want to try see a therapist in the new year, as much as i hate expressing how i feel it's probably for the better
after i threw out bags above our heads, i sat myself at the window seat, i like the view, and ross is luckily letting me.
"is someone tireddd?" ross whispered in my ear as soon as i leant my head on his shoulder with my eyes closed
"well considering i woke up before 4am this morning...yes" i replied sarcastically
"so did i!" he fought back
