Sorry | Spencer Reid Fanfic

Chapter 7- I don't know

They finally made it inside the apartment. Olivia strolled over to the kitchen, not acknowledging Spencer.

Spencer aimlessly walked around, like he was lost. Ultimately, he marched into the kitchen. He found Olivia standing at the sink sipping on a glass water, her mind clearly somewhere else.

"Liv, I need to talk about what happened?"

Olivia didn't react, the glass still resting on her bottom lip.

"Liv?" Spencer repeated. After not getting a response again he stepped a few steps closer to her. He tapped her on the shoulder making her jump. Water splashed on to her from her glass as it dropped, smashing in the sink. "Liv are you okay?" Spencer jumped into action, jerking her away from the shattered glass. Using a napkin, he patted dry droplets of water that rolled down her neck and chest. He took her hands into his inspecting them intently. "Are you hurt?" His voice was alert.

She gulped and nodded.

"Where?" He panicked, scanning her hands again for any cuts. He couldn't see any. "Liv, where?"

"Everywhere," she whispered. She yanked her hands back from his and quickly turned away from him, trying to wipe the tears that had rolled down her cheeks before he noticed.

Spencer clung onto Olivia's arm, not letting her walk away. "Liv, please let me tell you what happened."

"Are there still things left to tell?" Her voice was meek and filled with horror.

"It was... Arrgghhh... it was stupid. A mistake." Spencer palms were sweating thinking back to the incident that had landed him in this predicament.

"What made you realise that? Me and Will catching you?" Her voice was bitter. Each of her words stung Spencer.

"No. Liv I promise you. It only happened once. And it is never going to happen again. It was in the heat of the moment. We were both drunk and our heads were in a weird place after LA case." Spencer attempted to justify his actions. He noted that Olivia's forehead creased at the mention of LA. "I didn't tell you and I should have, but I just didn't want to ruin everything and create unnecessary pressure. The unsub made JJ confess that she loved me." Olivia's previously tense body went limp in Spencer's embrace. She hadn't considered that deep emotional feelings were involved. In her eyes this made it worse. "We spoke about it and put it rest at Rossi's wedding. At least I thought we had." He was ashamed now. "She came her so that we could talk it out. Things were awkward at the office. But then one thing led to the next." He waited to see if she would say anything. Olivia stayed mum. "Liv. This is the biggest mistake of my life. I wish I could change what has happened, but I can't, but I can grantee that I am going to spend the rest of my life making it right. You are my wife and I love you. I don't think you realise how much you mean to me. That's my fault. I should show you more often. I get so busy with work that I forget to prioritise. Liv, please say something." His eyes are frenzied.

"Do you love her?" Her voice was a mere whisper, but to Spencer it was as if she had screamed the words into his ear drum.

"What? I told you I love you." He deflected the question.

"That's not what I asked." Olivia anger crept up slowly. "It's a simple question. Do you love JJ?" She waited as he stood dumbfound. "Okay let me ask you another way. When JJ told you she loved you, did you consider, even for a second, being with her?" Spencer remained silent. "That answers my question then." By the point Olivia was enraged and hurt. She jerked away from Spencer's hold and found the suitcase she had left in the hallway that morning.

"Olivia, I told you I love you.'

"But you love JJ.'

He nodded. "I think I small part of me always been in love with JJ."

"See there it is. You say you love me. But you're in love with JJ."

"No," he denied, raising his voice.

"No?" she challenged.

"Why are you being like that?" Spencer was basically shouting now.

"Why am I being like this?" she scoffed. "All those years working case you really have mastered how to play the victim Dr Reid." She grabbed the suitcase and started rolling it towards the door.

Spencer sauntered after her. He yanked the suitcase back out of her hand. "Stop being a bitch." The suitcase slammed to the ground.

"Wow, real mature, Dr Reid. Real mature. Apparently aggression is your thing too. Where did you pick that up? In prison?" She muttered grasping for the suitcase.

Spencer pinned her up against the wall, his arm across her chest. "Take it back." His teeth were gritted.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it," she spat back. Hearing that Spencer loosened his grip on Olivia. She sighed a breath of relief.

"I'm sorry," Spencer mumbled. He lifted his hand brushing Olivia's hair out of her face. "I just need you." He tilted his head, his nose nuzzling against hers. He could feel her breath catch. He lowered on of his hands from Olivia's face to her neck, where his fingers run down the length of her neck. Spencer had one of his legs positioned between her legs preventing her from moving. He looked directly into her eyes. Her pupils were dilated. Was she scared or excited he thought?

He nestled further into her, catching her bottom lip between his. He waited for a sign of discomfort from Olivia, but instead she retaliated back. With every kiss they shared he breathlessly moaned apologises to her.

All of a sudden, she pushed him back, adjusting he jacket. "I...err have to go. I can't be here right now," she panted. She gathered her belongings from where Spencer had discarded them on the floor.

"Why did you come home with me?" Spencer was puzzled by Olivia's erratic behaviour. His voice almost accusatory.

"I don't know." She clambered around, on the verge of tears.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I haven't decided yet. It's probably better if you don't know anyway."

With that final statement she ran out of the door, leaving Spencer gawking in the apartment alone.