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❝ a word meaning "autumnal melancholy" ❞
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[15th September 2023] Fast-forwarded
While I was tidying the kitchen counter and placing the food trays on the kitchen counter, Jun-seo came to me and hugged my legs, making me unable to move.
"Jun-seo, eomma has to prepare food first. Play with Jun-ha first," I said to Jun-seo. Instead of letting go of my legs, Jun-seo cried while hugging my legs.
Jungkook came into the kitchen and carried Jun-seo who was hugging my legs. Jun-seo sobbed on his shoulder. I don't know why Jun-seo was so cranky today.
"Aigoo, why are you like this on your birthday? Baby boy can't cry on his birthday," Jungkook teased Jun-seo. Jun-seo put his head on Jungkook's shoulder. I sighed and shook my head.
"Aren't you done yet? You need to get ready too," Jin said as he entered the kitchen.
"Jamsi manyo. Just a few more minutes," I said.
"Ah, Mia. I'm gonna do the rest. You go and get ready," Jin said.
"Aniya. I can do it," I shook my head.
"No. No. Go and get ready," Jin said while tapping my shoulder. I look at the kitchen counter and think.
"No need to think. I know what to do. You go and get ready," Jin said.
"Ah, gomapda. I'll go now," I said before walking out of the kitchen.
I walked quickly to the bedroom and entered the bathroom to wash up. The whole morning, I've been preparing a lot for the twins' birthday party.
Today, the twins are officially one year old and they are growing up so fast. It's been a year since I gave birth to them. I know. Time flies too fast. That's what I always say.
Jun-seo and Jun-ha can already walk unassisted and that's what makes me frustrated most of the time right now. They are so clingy.
Whenever I bring them with me to work, they will be with me around and hugging my legs. When I have a rehearsal for the concert, they will be cranky and will ask to be carried while I have a rehearsal.
Sometimes, I wanted to give up and just leave them in the dressing room, hotel, or Seoul. But thinking back, they are my sons. Can't let them go too.
We came up with a decision that we will only make the twins' birthday celebration at my apartment. We just want to gather and eat together. We want it to be moderate and memorable.
Around 30 minutes of getting ready, I get out of the bedroom and head towards the living room. Hwasa had already arrived when I came into the living room.
"Eunnie," I greeted her with a smile when I saw her talking to Namjoon. She immediately turned to me and grinned widely.
"Annyeong, Mia," she replied. I walked to her and hugged her.
"How are you? It's been a few months. You look as if you've lost weight," she said. I smiled.
"A little bit. Started working out a little bit and control my diet during this concert tour," I told her.
"She's really controlling what she eats," Namjoon said. I chuckled.
"Don't be too controlling on your diet. You'll be malnutrition. Don't look thin but pale. Be yourself," she said. I smiled and nodded.
"I need to go to the kitchen first. You two continue talking," I said. Hwasa gave me a nod before I leave both of them to talk.
MAMAMOO disbanded on June 14, 2023. It was the end of their contract. Hwasa continued becoming a solo artist. The same with Moonbyul.
I never really care about the other members except for Hwasa these days. Even with Hwasa, because I was busy because of the concert tour, I couldn't really talk with her yet.
Solar became a Pilates instructor. She opened up her own company and is doing good now. Wheein is currently still in the mood of vacationing and having free time for herself.
BLACKPINK also disbanded last August. Just last month. A lot of K-pop groups disbanded this year. It was kinda overwhelming. All those K-pop groups who were born in the 90s are now gone.
GFRIEND, WJSN, RED VELVET, FIESTAR, and a lot more group decided to disband this year. Some had their contract ended and some decided to disband.
I heard from some fans that they were giving up because Big Hit's artists were taking everything. Big Hit artists were taking all the awards and credits. I heard that from fans.
Well, I can't say that's not true though. In the music industry, you need to work hard to get what you want. You gotta do it before you get left out.
Things were pretty simple this year. Nothing much. As usual, I sold out all the stadium tickets. God, I'm embarrassed by myself right now. Did I just say 'as usual'?
I think I'm getting too proud of myself. God, gotta low that bring that down a little. Being too proud kills you. This is totally dangerous.
Let's get back to the story.
"Everything's good?" I asked Jin as he was wiping the sink.
"Yeah," he nodded. I replied with a nod too.
I opened the cupboard that was on top and took the bottle that keeps my supplement. I took out two pills and gulped them down with water.
"Who confirmed to come?" I asked Jin after I gulped the pills.
"TXT and ENHYPEN confirmed. Ahreum couldn't make it today since they are both working. Will come and visit us tomorrow," Jin said. I nodded.
"Why don't we just go to eomma's place?" I asked him.
"I can talk to eomma about that. She would love that," Jin replied. I nodded.
"It's been months since she saw the twins," I said while I was washing my hand in the sink.
Jin hugged me from behind while I was still washing my hands in the sink and kissed my cheeks. I look at him and cringed. He laughed and gave me a peck.
"Yah, yah, TXT, and ENHYPEN are here already. Stop your romantic scene here," I heard Taehyung's deep voice and automatically pushed Jin away from me and cleared my throat.
"Alright. We'll be there. Soon," I said and pulled some tissue papers and wipe my hands. Taehyung left the kitchen after that.
"Why do you have to push me away when this occurs?" Jin asked me while holding my waist and pulling me with him.
"Because I don't feel comfortable when your best friend is looking at us being so cheesy and romantic," I told him as I toss the tissue paper that I use to wipe my hand into the dustbin.
"Goal!" I cheered when the tissue went into the dustbin. Jin laughed and shook his head.
Jin and I got back together after three months of separation. We got back together in early August after some time. This time, we're getting back for good.
Things were a little bit different when we get back. We seldom talk about work when we're together. We talk about it too but not that much like before.
I think the three months of separation did change something about us for good. I think, Jin was fatherly after we got back. I didn't mean he wasn't before.
I don't know if this is the right word. But when I look at him how he treats the twin, I thought that he grew up to be a father. He got matured.
I thought that he really changed and had time to change and think about things throughout the whole three months. Wasn't that long for me. He's calmer this time.
I don't know what changed in me. Maybe just my hair. My hair grew a little bit longer this time. Not really long though. Just on my shoulder.
Now, I have bangs and I look like Cleopatra. My hair is just black and like Cleopatra. During the concert, there are times where I will wear hair extensions.
Things were pretty simple. Easy. No tears. I really tried to push away negativity from me. The twins, Jin, and ROSEs have been my strength throughout these days.
In times of trouble, ROSEs would understand it. I would cry while reading their comments on my Weverse. It was heartwarming.
Although there were people who don't like me, I had already get used to it. Just ignore them. They will see that you don't care about what they do to you. Slowly, they will move away.
Jin and I walked into the living room and greeted the boys, TXT, and ENHYPEN. Jin and I only invite BTS, TXT, ENHYPEN, and Hwasa. That's all.
We invited Ahreum and Seokjung but they couldn't make it because today's Friday and they are still working right now. 4 pm.
"You look prettier than before," Jay said to me. I laughed while cupping my mouth.
"Gomapda," I thanked him as I patted his shoulder.
"I think, Mia really changed this year. I don't know why but she became more like someone matured," Namjoon said. I chuckled and shook my head.
"More like a mother," Yeonjun said. I chuckled.
I look at Jun-ha and Jun-seo who were carried by Jungkook and Jimin.
"I'm really glad you two are back together," Hwasa said, exchanging looks from me and Jin. I smiled. Jin rubbed my shoulder and kissed my head.
"People can't change it. They are both madly in love," J-Hope said. I chuckled.
"Anyway, all the foods are prepared. Let's eat then," Jin said. I nodded.
"When are we cutting the cake?" Taehyung asked.
"After most of us had eaten. That's for dessert," I said and grinned.
"Ah~, okay," he replied. I nodded.
"Let's eat then," I said.
Some started to walk to the kitchen where the food was served like buffet types. Hwasa came to me and hugged me. I hugged her back and patted her back.
"I'm sorry for what had happened between you and Jin," she said.
"Aniyo. Gwenchana," I told her.
"I was really praying that you and Jin will not separate because of that," she added. I smiled.
"It's fine. Things are fine now," I said.
"You've lost weight a lot, Mia. You realize that right?" she asked. I smiled blandly.
"Are you okay? Are you sick?" she asked. I shook my head.
"I'm fine, eunnie," I told her.
"You look pale," she said. I smiled.
"I'm fine," I nodded.
"Are you hiding something from me?" she asked. I shook my head.
"Aniya. Jinjja, gwenchana," I reassured her. She nodded.
"Alright. I trust you, Mia. I will not forgive you if I know you're lying to me," she said. I smiled and nodded slowly.
"Trust me. I'm fine. Now you, go and eat," I told her.
"You're eating too," she said.
"I'm not eating. I've eaten just now while I was preparing the foods," I told her.
"No way. I won't eat if you don't eat," she told me.
"Eunnie, just eat. I'm still full. And, I need to feed Jun-ha and Jun-seo," I said.
"Okay. I'll eat. You better eat something too," she said. I nodded and smiled.
She went towards the kitchen and I went to Jungkook who was taking care of Jun-ha.
"Come on. I need to feed these two kids. You two can go and eat first," I told Jungkook and Jimin.
"Nae~," they replied.
Jungkook and Jimin went away leaving Jun-seo and Jun-ha playing with their toys.
"Alright, boys. You need to eat too," I said to the twins.
While the others were eating, I feed Jun-seo while Jin feeds Jun-ha. While feeding the twins, we were all talking together. The house was filled with chatters and laughter.
"Mia, when are finishing your Asia Tour?" Taehyung asked me.
"October. I still have seven shows in Japan. Osaka and Nagoya both two nights and then Tokyo, three nights. For two weeks and then I'll come back here and have 2 nights show," I replied.
"How many shows altogether does your Asia Tour holds?" Namjoon asked.
"Forty," I told him.
"Yah, that's really a lot already," Jin said. I chuckled as I feed Jun-seo.
"Is your World Tour next year?" Jimin asked. I shook my head.
"End of 2025," I said.
"Ah~, we're already in the military that time," Jungkook said. I smiled.
"Until when?" Hwasa asked.
"Final, 31st of January, 2028," I said.
"Woah, jinjja. Three years? Maybe one year two or three months. It's just three different years," Namjoon said. I nodded.
"From September 2025 until January 2028," I said.
"According to my calculation, it's 2 years, 4 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days," Jungkook said. I laughed. The others laughed too.
"Yah, you counted?" Namjoon asked.
"Aniya. Date calculation on internet," Jungkook replied. I laughed and shook my head.
"Oh, wait a minute. Did I say 2025 until 2028?" I asked. They nodded.
"Yah, that's really 2 years, right?" I asked.
"Yeah, you will go through 3 September. 2025, 2026, and 2027," Namjoon said. I cupped my mouth.
"I thought it was for one year. Was it really 2025 or 2026?" I mumbled.
"Yah, 2 years of World Tour is the longest I've ever heard," Jin said.
"Did I really hear it right? 2 years seems to be so long," I mumbled.
"But if each month, you're just performing at two stadiums. Then, it makes sense to be having World Tour for 2 years," Namjoon said.
"Ah~, I remembered. Yeah. 2 years. But the schedule is loose. It's not that I have a concert every week. In a month, maybe only one or two concerts," I said.
"See? It's a loose schedule. That's normal," Namjoon said. I nodded.
"Well, that means, when we are in the military, you'll be busy too. Concerts and comebacks," Jin said. I nodded.
"Do you have the schedule for your comeback already?" Suga asked.
"Yeah. Only three more comebacks," I said.
"When are those?" J-Hope asked.
"Summer in 2025. Autumn, 2026. Winter, 2027," I said.
"So, you're releasing all of it during the same season," Kai asked. I nodded.
"Yeah. It's all confirmed and we're all hoping that everything will be going as planned," I said as I feed Jun-seo his last spoon. I put the bowl and spoon on the table after that.
"Do you have your songs ready already?" Jake asked. I nodded.
"Yeah," I said.
"What's your bonus song this time?" Namjoon asked.
"I worked it on with Suga this time. Only him and I will be credited. He worked a lot on the beats and melody and actually everything except for the lyrics," I said.
"She's more poetic. So, I don't want to disturb her lyrics," Suga said. I chuckled.
"But your bonus song Clean is kinda sad. It's not that sad but it's really reflecting," Hwasa said. I chuckled.
"For your information, if I write music, it's gonna be sad. I've readied all the bonus songs for these albums for months," I said.
"I had already readied the bonus songs for Autumn and Winter too. I already made the melody and recorded it. I'm just gonna work on the accompaniment a little bit," I said.
"Tell me yes or no. The lyrics are gonna hit us right through our hearts," Jay said.
"Yes," I nodded and grinned.
"Mia is really good with sad songs. Ballad and Urban songs," Namjoon said. I laughed.
"Maybe because I always hold onto the sad memories I've gone through?" I said while wiping Jun-seo's mouth before he walks to Jin's place. Jun-ha went to Taehyung's place.
They chuckled.
"You're just romantic. Just look at your lyrics. It's beautiful and poetic," Jin said. I chuckled and shook my head.
"Are you gonna have a movie again?" Heeseung asked.
"I wasn't told about it. I don't know if the production crew is going to make another documentary. Maybe yes or maybe no," I said.
"They will just tell you a few months before the documentary will be released," J-Hope said. I laughed and nodded.
"Yeah, it's usually like that," I agreed with him.
"I'm just gonna focus on the World Tour and comebacks these years. And these two kids. We need to start working on how to control both of them," I said while tapping Jin's lap. He chuckled.
"You guys need to start planning where they are going to go to school, let them get an education," Hwasa said. I nodded.
"You guys don't want to homeschool them?" Jungkook asked.
"I don't want them to be extroverts. So, maybe no. Plus, I want them to socialize more. I don't mean I want them to really socialize a lot. But, at least don't be an extrovert," I said.
"Just send them to SOPA when they are already teenagers," Beomgyu said.
"Well, before they enter high school, I really want to know what they really want. I don't want to force them into a career that they don't want," I said.
"She really knows everything," Jin said. I laughed and slapped his thigh softly.
"If they want to be an artist, then, let them go to SOPA. If they don't want, just let them be what they want," I said.
"If they don't want, then just send them to another school," Jin said. I nodded.
"You are guys are like prepared for this," Suga said. I chuckled and shook my head.
"Continue eating. I'm gonna wash these first," I said while taking Jun-ha's bowl from Jin's hand and taking the bowl that was Jun-seo's and walked to the kitchen.
While I was washing the twins' bowl, Jimin came to the kitchen while holding his plate.
"Just put it in the sink. I'll wash them," I told him. He shook his head.
"I can wash them. Don't worry," he replied. I chuckled.
"Okay," I replied.
"Aren't you eating?" he asked me as I put the bowl that I've already cleaned into a rack for wet dishes and wiped my hands.
"I've eaten while preparing the foods just now. Don't you want to continue eating?" I asked him.
"Ani. I'm full already. Who fried the chicken? Did you bought it outside?" he asked while washing his plate.
"I friend it. Me," I said while wiping my hands with a towel paper.
"That sauce and the chicken is perfect. I thought you bought it," he said.
"Jin made the sauce. I fried the chicken," I told him.
"Isn't frying the chicken is harder than making the sauce?" he asked.
"Well, for me it's the same. Not hard," I said while leaning on the kitchen counter.
"Not hard? You're one different woman," he said. I chuckled.
"I'm used to do everything alone, Jimin-ah. What I want, I try to do it at home and experiment it instead of buying outside," I told him. He nodded and chuckle.
"Well, that's better than buying outside. Safer, cleaner," he said.
"And save more money," I said.
"And healthier," he said. I nodded and chuckled.
"Come on. Let's go back to the living room," I said to him. He chuckled and nodded.
We walked out of the kitchen together and head back towards the living room. I sat next to Hwasa. The boys asked me if I'm not eating. I told them I had already eaten while I was preparing the foods just now.
"When is your next concert?" Hwasa asked me.
"Next Saturday and Sunday in Osaka. Monday and Tuesday in Nagoya. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in Tokyo. Three nights in Tokyo," I replied.
"Woah, you're gonna spend like two weeks in Japan," she said. I chuckled.
"Well, it's tiring. Plus, these twins are joining too," I said.
"Did you ever get them onto the stage yet?" she asked.
"What? During the concert?" I asked. She nodded. I laughed and shook my head.
"No. I cannot do that. I get them on the stage when rehearsal. But not during the actual concert," I said and chuckled. Hwasa nodded.
"What project are you into these days?" she asked.
"Just some donations for building some school together with the Duchess of Sussex. Some for AIDS, HIV, and women. Homelessness," I said while sipping my drinks.
"You're getting closer to Meghan Markle, ain't you?" she asked. I chuckled.
"Not really. Only for work," I replied.
"You're working for a lot of charity works this year," she said. I chuckled.
"Yeah. I kinda like charity work these days," I smiled.
"You're doing great. You'll be blessed with a lot of positivity," she said. I smiled and nodded.
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(I suggest if you're not comfortable with a sex scene, just skip this part and go to the next chapter.)
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I slowly lay Jun-seo who was already asleep in his crib. Jun-ha was already asleep 15 minutes ago. After putting Jun-seo in his crib, I walked to the bathroom and clean myself.
Jin went back to his dorm for a while to take some things. I wash up for about 15 minutes and then get out of the bathroom. Jin was sitting on the rocking chair while looking at his phone.
"Did you wash up already?" I asked him.
"I showered in the dorm just now," he replied. I nodded.
"Okay," I replied.
I walk to the drawer and picked out my clothes for sleeping. I put my clothes on the bed and unwrapped my towel that was wrapping my body.
I put the towel at the edge of the bed and picked up my panties from the bed. I put on my panties and just when I was just about to take my shirt, I felt kisses on my shoulder.
"Did you purposely do this?" he whispered into my ear. I chuckled and wanted to turn to look at him but he pushed me on the bed, facing him backward.
"Jin!" I exclaimed.
"Shh, you'll wake the twins up," he whispered. I giggled and turn to look at him. He kisses my neck gently. Planting wet kisses that tickle me.
"Jinnie," I giggled.
"Hajima, Yeonnie," he said. I chuckled and look at him.
He pulled his shirt out of his and threw it away somewhere in the room before kissing me. I replied to his kiss as I slowly stroke his hair. He moaned softly as he looked up while closing his eyes.
He slowly moved his hips as he teased me by rubbing his crotch at my center part. I moaned when he did that. My breathing was heavier and I wanted him.
Since we separated and until now, this is our first time having an intimate relationship after that separation. It's quite some time already.
"I've missed you so much, baby girl," he whispered.
"I miss you too, daddy," I mumbled. He looked at me and smirked.
And that's how our night just began after months of hungriness of each other. Well, I can say that I'm really hungry in this aspect :)