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❝the smile of a baby is worth a living❞
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[Two Weeks Later]
After pumping milk, I walked out of my bedroom and went to the living room. Ahreum and eomma were in the living room, looking after Ji-na, Jun-seo, and Jun-ha.
"Have you pumped enough milk?" Ahreum asked.
I nodded while pushing my stranded hair to the back. I walk to the kitchen and put the four bottles of milk in the refrigerator.
"Mia, do you want to eat now?" eomma asked.
"Ani. I'll washup first. Another 30 minutes like that," I said.
"Okay. I'll heat the foods first," eomma said.
"Nae," I nodded and I walked to the crib where Jun-ha and Jun-seo were placed.
Both of them were sleeping quietly. Both in their swaddle. Oh god, I'm so tired but looking at them sleeping makes me forget about all the tiredness they've pulled me to go through.
"Do you need anything? You look really tired," Ahreum said.
"Ah, I'm just so tired," I mumbled.
"Don't worry, Mia. You'll get used to it," Ahreum patted my shoulder. I smiled.
"Go get ready to go to the doctor," she said. I nodded and walk back to my bedroom.
I exhaled as I entered my bedroom. It's been a tough two weeks. This is just two weeks. When Ahreum just had Ji-na, it was over one month.
Until now, Ahreum is still waking up at night to feed Ji-na. I told Jin to not stay with me at night because I'm scared, he doesn't have enough sleep.
He's working during the day and needs rest at the night. I don't want to disturb him during the night just to feed Jun-seo and Jun-ha.
Eomma is now staying with me 24 hours since I gave birth. I still can't walk properly without feeling pain. Once I stand up, I rather stand up all the time rather than stand up and then sit down and stand up again.
But the pain was lessening day by day. It made me relieved. The pain wasn't like the first day after I gave birth. It was more painful the days after I gave birth. I couldn't even walk
I'm wearing a corset so I can walk. Without a corset, I wouldn't be able to stand up or walk. I feel like there are bruises and your tummy is swollen.
Usually, when you have a bad cough, your stomach muscle will hurt. The hurt that I'm feeling right now is like that but way more painful.
My belly hasn't gone down yet. It will slowly flatten. My boobs are freaking big right now. Even Seokjin was asking me what happened.
It wasn't swollen. It's funny but I don't want to laugh because my stomach muscle will hurt. Seokjin was freaking out when he realizes that my boobs were bigger than before I gave birth to the twins.
He barely took off his eyes from my boobs when I was breastfeeding the twins. He wanted to have sex but I can't because my vagina hasn't fully recovered.
My vagina was stitched okay? So, I won't be able to do sex in maybe two months until I fully recovered. Jin was really frustrated about it and I was laughing hard at him.
In these two weeks, I didn't go out of the house. Eomma and Ahreum and Jae-hyuk was the one who helped me most of the time. All the time actually.
Last week we went to the doctor to do a checkup and Jae-hyuk helped me, eomma, and the twins to get to the hospital with security.
Security is really a must because I still didn't tell our fans that I had twins and not only one. And I didn't do any public appearances these months.
So, paparazzi are always everywhere wanting to see how I am doing after giving birth. When I was discharged from the hospital, the hospital has paparazzi everywhere.
I was really in disguise when I was discharged. I was already all covered up. With a hoodie, cap, sunglasses, mouth mask so that the paparazzi won't get to capture my face after I was discharged.
Not enough, the bodyguards used black umbrellas around me so that the paparazzi won't get to take picture of me. This is my first time getting that much security.
Jin was there when I was discharged too. Eomma holds a baby car seat where Jun-ha was but it was fully covered on top so and eomma looks like she's just carrying an empty baby car seat.
But as soon as I got out of the entrance, the paparazzi was aiming me because they saw me carrying Jun-seo but I was putting a huge blanket over my chest where Jun-seo was.
So, the paparazzi couldn't capture Jun-seo's face. We didn't want his face to be exposed yet. We will expose it when the time has come.
Next week, I'm going to work already. It's going to be hard for me but since next week is already October, I need to get ready for MMA and MAMA.
Not to forget the KBS and SBS end of year show. Christmas and New Year's performance. BTS, TXT, ENHYPEN will be performing too. We're all going to perform at the same program.
Anyway, I washup and did my morning routine. Apply the cream around my belly for my stretch marks, face product, stay hydrated, put cream on my vagina and that's is of course.
I put on my clothes and then dried my hair with the hairdryer. I tied my hair into a ponytail after I dried my hair.
For your information, after having babies, I'm just literally feeling hot every time. In the night, I would wake up because I was just drenched in sweat even though the aircon was 20 degrees Celsius.
Later when I get back to work, I need to ask my hairstylist to cut my hair. I'm really uncomfortable to have long hair right now.
After getting ready, I went out of my bedroom and to the living room.
"I've packed the backpack. Everything is in it already," Ahreum said as I entered the living room.
"Ah, gomawo. I was just going to do that," I said.
"Okay. What time is Jae-hyuk oppa picking us up?" Ahreum asked.
"He told me 11 am," I told her while walking to the crib to see Jun-ha and Jun-seo. Both of them are still sleeping.
"We still have more time. Eomma is heating the food now. Go eat," Ahreum said.
"Nae~," I replied before I walk towards the kitchen. I could smell the smell of herbs and the chicken soup when I entered the kitchen.
"Wah, the smell of the soup is so mouthwatering," I said. Eomma chuckled.
"Just sit. Eomma will serve it to you," she said.
"Nae. Gomawo," I said before walking to the kitchen bar and sat on a stool.
"The smell is still there even though it's been overnight," I said.
"I put more herbs just now. That's why the smell is still the same," eomma said.
"Ah~, no wonder," I said.
After a few minutes, eomma puts a big bowl of soup in front of me with a bowl of rice. For me, I cook rice all the time.
I don't eat without rice. But if there is no rice and I can't do anything about it, I would just eat without rice. I don't eat packed rice that you just put in the microwave to eat.
I don't eat cold foods. Cold rice. I cook homemade rice. I wash the rice and then cook rice in the rice cooker. That's how I eat. Must have rice.
I had my breakfast. I was talking with eomma while eating. Jin's mother is a nice person to talk to. She's like my own mother already.
Talking about mother, I will go to my mother's and father's cemetery next week and bring Jun-ha and Jun-seo with me to the cemetery.
Just to say hi and tell them that I had twins and talk to them for a few minutes. Maybe 5 to 10 minutes. I come to their cemetery every month, bringing white roses for them.
I bought white roses for them at the same place I first bought white roses when visiting their cemetery. Every time I went to the florist, they already know what I want.
Anyway, after breakfast, Jae-hyuk came to my apartment with a few men as our bodyguards. We head to Dr. Kang's office for a checkup.
We reached the medical center in a few minutes. We were relieved that there was no paparazzi around. But still, as a precaution, I'll carry Jun-seo while Jae-hyuk holds the baby carrier that as Jun-ha inside.
We entered the hospital and went straight to the mother and child section which is on the 7th floor. This is a private medical center. Seoul Medical Center.
When we reached the section for mother and child, there were a few mothers and children. When the nurse saw us, she immediately brought us to a private room.
After I've given birth and when I come to the hospital to have a checkup, the nurse will bring me to a private room since I don't want any disturbances.
Last week I went to this hospital, there were paparazzi already waiting for me on the 7th floor and it was quite surprising. How they waited for me all the while.
Not long after we entered the private room, the nurse came back to tell me that I can go to Dr. Kang's consultation room already.
Eomma and Ahreum waited in the private room with the bodyguards while Jae-hyuk and I go to Dr. Kang's consultation room.
Jae-hyuk carried Jun-ha in the baby carrier while I carried Jun-seo in my arms. We entered Dr. Kang's room and she greeted us with a warm smile.
"Mia-ssi, Jaehyuk-ssi, annyeonghaseyo," she said.
"Annyeonghaseyo, seonsaengnim," I greeted her back.
"Annyeonghaseyo," Jae-hyuk replied.
"Straight away put the baby on the bed. I'm giving them injections first," Dr. Kang said.
"Ah, nae," I replied as I walk to the bed special for children.
I lay Jun-Seo on the bed gently. He was already awakened by the time I put him on the bed. He looked all over the ceiling when I lay him on the bed.
The checkup with Dr. Kang was speedy. Since I'm going to work next week, Dr. Kang suggested me to start giving Jun-seo and Jun-ha formula milk.
Well, I can give Jun-seo and Jun-ha breast milk in the morning and evening and at night. But during the day, what I pumped may not be enough for later.
The formula milk that was given is suitable for an infant that has just been born. Some mothers even after giving birth, they don't have milk in their breast, so they need to give formula milk.
In my case, I'm going to work and the milk I pump before I go to work won't be enough for the whole day when I'm gone. So, I have no choice but to give formula milk.
When Dr. Kang gave an injection to Jun-ha and Jun-seo, both cried so loud. It was like a scream. But after three seconds, they suddenly didn't cry anymore.
Just want to scream and let out their frustration. It made me laugh though. They cried so loud and then after three minutes just silent back. Wow.
After doing a checkup on the twins, Dr. Kang made a checkup on me. She checks on the wound at my vagina. She suddenly became gynecology. HAHA.
After checking everything, it was done. We went out, get the milk, and some other medications for my vagina wounds, and the formula milk for the baby.
After getting medications and everything, we went back home. Nothing more to buy. We reached home and Jae-hyuk went to Big Hit for a meeting.
He's always at Big Hit nowadays. He's always passing to me the updates on everything. He is also on-call if I need help to buy something or if I need something.
Hora and Zoe are really loving after the babies came back to the apartment. The first day I came home, Hora and Zoe were already waiting for me to come home.
Jae-hyuk only comes to my apartment to feed Hora and Zoe while I was in the hospital. So, when I came home, Hora was really silent.
I sat on the couch and he looked at me from afar. He was staring at Jun-seo who was sleeping on my arm at that time.
I called Hora to me and he came. Seokjin did record this moment. Hora gets onto the couch and looks at me before looking at Jun-seo.
I told Hora that he needs to take care of Jun-seo and Jun-ha. He took his time while sniffing Jun-seo. Trying to smell Jun-seo smell.
When Seokjin took Jun-ha out of the baby carrier, Hora started to jump and bark. He circled the couch before went to Seokjin.
Seokjin showed Jun-ha to Hora and he wagged his tail. I could tell that Hora was happy during that time. We have twin cribs in the living room and Hora would sleep next to the crib during the day.
At night, I will have the twins sleep in the crib next to my bed. I will open my bedroom door throughout the night just in case I need help but I never called anyone during the night. It was just troublesome.
Hora would come and sleep with me. Whenever I heard Jun-ha or Jun-seo starts to whine wanting milk, Hora would also wake up and look at the baby.
I guess he really is watching over the twins and I thought he's the best dog I've ever had. Meanwhile, with Zoe, she didn't really care.
She's just like before. Well, she showed some affection though. She licked Jun-seo's hand when we first time came home with the babies.
I think I just love having pets around and babies around. They are just loving. Very loving. Especially dogs. They are the most loving and loyal pets.
Hora has been with me for almost ten years. He is for sure one old man already. He's been with me since 2016, I think. So, six years? I think so.
I love having pets around. Before this, Seokjin ever had a Sugar Glider pet but well, pets die too because of sickness and age, right? So, yeah, Odengie and Eomukie died because of health problems.
He was sad about it. Of course, it's his pet. Who wouldn't be sad when your pet dies? I would die if Hora died. He has been with me through my ups and downs.
There are pros and cons to having pets. But I think, I don't have a problem having pets. I love having pets.
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I look at the door when I heard it beeps that signs that the door was opened from outside. I saw Seokjin entering my apartment.
"Oh, I thought you were having VCR shooting for MMA?" I asked.
"My solo shoot finished earlier. So, I get to come home earlier," he replied as he took off his shoes and approached me.
"Ah~, okay," I replied.
"Ahreum and eomma had gone back?" he asked. I nodded.
Tomorrow is Saturday, so eomma went back. She just stays at my place during weekends. Ahreum, she just comes whenever she has free time.
"Babies are still sleeping. Just breastfeed them just now," I told him. He nodded.
"Have you had dinner? I can reheat the food just now," I said.
"Ani. I've eaten just now. I'm going to wash up. I'll be back soon," he said before giving me a peck of a kiss on my lips. I smiled and my eyes trailed him as he walks to our bedroom.
I chuckled and shook my head. I continued watching the Kitchen's Hell on the television. As I've said before, I'm more on shows right now.
If you don't know what is Kitchen's Hell, you need to go to Google and find about it. Everyone around the world needs to know what Kitchen Hell is.
Around 20 minutes later, Jin came into the living room. He sat next to me while drying his wet hair with a towel.
"The video you sent to me when the twins were getting injections was really funny. I showed it to the boys and they laughed too," he said. I chuckled.
"Dr. Kang also laughed hearing that. It was just silent after that. Just to attract attention," I said.
"Did Dr. Kang checked your wounds?" he asked.
"Yeah. Gave me a cream to put on. Not fully recovered yet," I said. Jin sighed and pouted.
"Wae?" I asked him.
"When can I have you? I've been fasting of you for more than one month," he said. I laughed and cupped my mouth to muffle my laugh. He pouted.
"You're gonna wait for a few more weeks, I think. Just be patient," I said.
"I've been patient for weeks," he groaned. I laughed and tangled my arm with his arm.
"You know, Jun-ha has your lips and Jun-seo, I don't know. Neither mine nor yours," I said.
"Jun-ha's lips are plump. Like mine," Jin said before pouting. I pinch his nose and he cringed. I laughed.
"How was your preparation for MMA and MAMA?" I asked.
"So far so good. You told me that you're going to work next week already, right?" Jin asked. I nodded.
"Can you practice your dancer? You're still in recovery," Jin said.
"Well, at least I can walk more now. I just can't do a split. Oh, fuck!" I cursed and cupped my mouth.
"Mwo? Wae?" Jin said.
"If my vagina was stitched, does that means I couldn't do split anymore? I mean, it's gonna be hard since they tightened my vagina," I said. Jin cringed.
"But they did only two stitches, right?" Jin asked. I nodded.
"I don't think it will affect your split though. You've trained to split since you are a child so, basically you skin and your vagina just," he paused and motioned with his hands. He motioned with his hands meaning wide. I laughed and nodded.
"I might need to ask Dr. Kang about this and try split as soon as I recovered," I said.
"They just do stitch where it teared up and they did not disturb the ones that didn't. It's like normal," Jin said. I nodded.
"I hope. I might just need to ask Dr. Kang about it," I said. Jin nodded.
"You don't wanna sleep yet? It's already 11 pm," Jin said.
"You're sleeping over?" I asked him. He nods.
"Okay. You carry Jun-seo to the bedroom. I'll carry Jun-ha," I told him. He nodded.
"Help me to stand up," I said while offering my arms to him.
He chuckles before pulling my arms to stand up. I hissed as I get on my feet.
"Bring Jun-seo first. I'm going to the kitchen first," I said.
"Okay," he replied.
I walked to the kitchen and see if there's anything I left out on the kitchen counter or anything. Everything must go into the refrigerator.
After making sure of that, I went to the living room and carried Jun-ha. I slowly carry him and put him over my shoulder.
He whines a little when I carried him but I rubbed his back and hushed him to make him go to sleep back. He continued sleeping after that.
I walked towards the bedroom. Jin was putting Jun-seo into the crib. I put Jun-ha into his crib. He was sleeping peacefully when I put him into his crib.
After putting Jun-ha in his crib, I went into the bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth. After that, I went out of the bathroom and sat on the dressing table.
Jin was on the bed while looking at his phone. I put on my night routine face products. Around 10 minutes later, I was done and wipe my hands with wet wipes.
"Turn on the dim lights behind our bed," I said to Jin.
He turned to his side and press the switch to turn on the lights behind our bed. I turn off the main lights in the room and got onto the bed.
"How was your collaboration with YG and JYP?" he asked while putting his phone away.
"Good," I replied while pulling the comforter over my chest.
He laid down and turn to look at me.
"How did you even do recordings while you're pregnant? You said that it's harder to breathe," he said. I chuckled.
"Well, hard but I can still do it," I said.
"Taehyung told me that you're going to have a photoshoot in December for the Winter Flower," Jin said. I laughed.
"Oh yeah. I've forgotten about that already. Yeah, we got our schedule already," I said.
"Have you memorized all your lines?" Jin asked. I nodded.
"Most of it, yes," I said.
"When will your drama shooting start?" Jin asked.
"Second of January," I grinned.
"Yah, that's so early. When is your World Tour?" he asked.
"May," I replied.
"Have you start preparing for your concert tour?" he asked. I shook my head.
"This time around, we're just doing an Asia tour. Since the tickets and concert tour haven't been announced, Big Hit made changes to it," I said.
"Only Asia tour?" he asked. I nodded.
"I'm going to attend more award ceremonies next year. I'm having the main album out next year too. Since this year I couldn't attend a lot of award ceremony," I said.
"That's better than this year and last year though. You were busy last year and this year too," Jin said. I nodded.
"Turn to the other side. I want to hug you," he said.
I chuckled and face backward from him. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I put both my hands under my head.
"You're going for World Tour next year, right?" I asked.
"Yeah but it will start in August and ends in May 2024," he said.
"And then, another one year until you guys enlist into the military," I said.
"Ah~, I'm worried enlisting in the military," he mumbled.
"You're going to be fine. I read on the internet that the gas room is the most painful experience. Lisa from Blackpink told me the same when she was joining the Real Man show," I said.
"It's only one year and six months. I'm gonna come back for Chuseok too. I'll do well so that I can have bonus days off," he said. I chuckled.
"I don't know how you will look like when you cut your hair like the military style," I said and laughed.
"Aish, I'll miss my long hair," he said. I laughed.
"No more colored hair. No more long hair. You'll go bald," I said and laughed.
"Aish! Don't talk about it!" he scolded me. I continued laughing.
"What will you do after BTS disbands?" I asked.
"We're going to continue taking care of my restaurant. Maybe open up some more restaurants?" he said. I chuckled.
"Nice retirement plan," I said. He laughed.
"You'll enter the military in 2025 and discharged in 2027 and by that time, BTS contract ends. I will be ending my contract in 2028 by my age is 28/29," I said.
"You don't want to continue?" he asked.
"Ani. 10 years is enough for me. Plus, more K-pop idols are coming up every year," I said.
"But no solo artist has ever won the GRAMMYs. You're the first," he said.
"With hard work, nothing is impossible," I said. Jin hugged me tighter.
"Do you want to continue your career as an actress after you retire?" he asked.
"Ani. I don't really have an interest in acting. Commercial shooting, yes. But acting, maybe no," I said.
"Okay. I'm glad then. Don't continue becoming an actress. Just a singer and it's enough already," Jin said. I laughed.
"You don't want me to be an actress?" I asked him.
"No. I don't want to see you kissing or having a romantic scene with other men," he said. I laughed.
"I swear what will be acted later with Taehyung or whoever is just acting. You know I love you more than other people," I said.
"More than ROSEs?" he asked.
"Mm," I hummed and think.
"Maybe ROSEs are lesser by 0.000001 than you," I said. He laughed.
"Aniya. I love both ROSEs and you. I love ROSEs as my supporters, sisters, brothers, fans but I love you as my boyfriend and as the father of our children," I said.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you too," I smiled.
He turned off the lights at the back of our bed and then hugged me too. Cuddling to sleep is the most romantic thing I've ever experienced.
Seokjin and I never went for a fancy dinner. We just cook together and then eat together in the living room. Sitting on the floor and eat together.
We cuddle together and then tickled each other. We played mobile games together. No, don't say I don't play PUBG. I play.
Taehyung, Jungkook, and I always play together. Even after giving birth, I still play. Frequently. While pumping milk, I would play PUBG with the boys.
All the boys play mobile games, Dota, Mobile Legends, they are just men in their 20s and 30s. TXT and ENHYPEN are also active in playing games.
Don't say that I'm a girl and a mother and I don't play games. I do. It's fun and it gets things off your mind. It's fun. For me at least.
Some people just don't like to play games. I understand. They just don't like it. It's fine. It's their choice. It's my choice too.