This is just a story of little things that pop in my brain throughout the day so don't think I'm in any harm or danger.
Surrounded by many but still feel low
No better feeling than feeling alone but I can't help but to deteriorate when I come across someone new. I break down and break ground in hopes I can stay up on another plateau and not feel so low.
You tell me one thing but next you're doing something different. The mixed signals are like the city data limits, you find a good spot here and there but most the time it's secluded. You're stuck with the phone next to your side in hopes someone makes you feel not so alone. You love yourself indefinitely but they show you your flaws you pretend to ignore. You go home or to work with the weight of the chain dragging you continuously to the ground. You try to crack a smile but the chapped skin on your lips crack and make you feel a slight pain more than the numb feeling you've had for a while. You greet everyone with a positive attitude but the makeup you're wearing starts to drip off in front of them realizing that you're just covering for something deep within.
You want things to work in your favor but anytime something does it always comes with the wager. Your everyday movements and daily routines effects someone around you everyday and if you break the routine especially towards those with anxiety they start to overthink and wonder why they ain't good enough. Reassure them that they're more than plenty. Tell them you love them but with actual meaning. The one compliment you tell someone could change their whole output and motive onto what they were thinking.
Depressed people have it the worst. On top of overthinking they lose the energy to ever fight back or to connect with you because they have so many broken pieces that they gave to all the people before you. They're like the dog you seen on tv or in real life where they're chained all day outside and when the owner comes to them they coward in fear. That's how they are towards everything including more than just people.
Uhhh idk what else I was thinking to type in this but yeah lol this will probably ruin the flow and the offbeat poetry I try to do.