I turned 22 today, still feels like I'm in my 80's though.
I promise though, I'm working on a better me.
I been trying to lose this gut, cause that's what stopping me from feeling confident.
I've been trying to be happy but it's like everywhere I look I'm reminded of your face
I miss this girl, and she wasn't more than a friend, but at one point we acted more than just friends. She's being torn by a guy who she's afraid to leave just cause she will do anything to please. She doesn't want to lose the time, to start fresh with some new dude because what they've been through is more than most complications. She's afraid to try, she's afraid to love, and he's afraid to tell. If anyone finds out she'll be the one to be punished. She just needs to get out. Luckily she knows a guy despite anything that's happened will do whatever it takes to make things happen. Even if it's to ruin his plans his first priority will be to find his friend. Cause there's nothing more he'd want for his birthday than to see her face. To tell her she's strong and show her confidence, to ignore the scars that have spread because it doesn't matter about all of that. If everything crashed, his eyes are where she felt safe for a moment.
I'm not afraid to show myself to you because you know more about me than I know about myself. You know you could tell me everything and anything and I wouldn't tell a soul. I see the marks, I see the stories. This kid needs a lesson, and I've been waiting to teach. I know how he shows you off on social media but I can tell somethings wrong with the real relationship. I may not have told you soon enough, and that's my fault. But I just wanted to say I still love you at heart, and that feeling can never change even if it's not the same from you. You were a special person who's taken on the abuse and I can't let that shit happen no more. I got to keep my praying that hopefully things change. Cause you have no idea how much I think about you everyday. Just to know you're safe.
And I promise that as soon as it's settled that I'll one day change to be a better person, but right now I'm just trying to get better but god dammit I need to hear from you even if it's an anonymous letter.
