Living life one moment at a time
Cause the next might be your last
Grandmas chemo is over temporarily
She looks exhausted, but still loved and smiling.
Had two job interviews for a job this week. Leaving my crappy kitchen job hopefully.
Pays 5x more than what I'm used to.
Salary job, fixated schedule.
Interaction with people and seeing new faces.
I'm scared.
New girl comes into my life. Known her for seven years. Going through a divorce. Tells me she likes me. Do I go for it? I don't wanna miss my chance with someone else. Someone I've waited for a long time for. I don't want this timing to be wrong.
Again
She moved to Texas. Idk how this would work. I'm afraid to try with someone else. I'm afraid to get hurt and nothing in return again.
Cut all my hair off. Everyone admired it. I miss it hiding my face. I despise how I look.
My truck is finally about to be finished. Replacing brakes. Giving it a week hopefully. That's where my happiness is. Besides in you. I don't know if I see myself being happy with someone else to be all honest. But I guess life is a game of risk. I despise taking chances when all my chances I messed up on.
Barely see my friends. Barely eat. But I'm still fat, I don't get it. Guess it's meant to be I can't have the nice body and features women want these days.
My favorite coworker is leaving and I cried. Tears down my face in the middle of my shift. Someone I may barely see now. I hate people leaving my life. I just wish everyone would stay.
I guess my life's okay though. Still never sleep. Lmao that's nothing new I guess, huh?
I want you to be happy. I want everyone around me happy before I myself am happy. I am strong, tell me the weight is to heavy and I can carry it. It isn't anything I've never dealt with before.
Ending the update, life is life. I wouldn't mind the extra cash and the peace in my mind it brings. But I also wouldn't mind if my mind disappeared and my body became cold. I don't see myself being in a better situation.
Until we meet again, my dearest friend. I drink you to numb the pain I temporarily have when my mind thinks that I'm not good enough and you're the only thing that has ever stayed.
To my friend I got this app for, I see what you post. I see your pain. You're stronger than anyone I know, including myself. I thought I was strong but I've just became so weak these past few years and I'm sorry I was never there more for you than I could be. But I appreciate all you've done for me, even if it all wasn't everything I wanted. I just want you to be happy. More than anything in this world I'd sacrifice myself to see someone like you happy.
