The title may have thrown you off, you probably thought I meant mind games. Well I didn't, see mind games are what you put yourself into your own mind thinking the wrong thoughts. Mind gains is the positive effect of knowing you'll be okay even at your lowest. You know there's people there for you to help you, but they probably never experienced what you've been through physically. They might have their own way of pain and similarities of it but not the exact same way you do. You know yourself how to heal what you're going through and you may want to push people away, which is fine, some people get it and understand. But just don't do it to where they don't have a way to contact you if anything were to happen. You wouldn't want them to permanently be wondering what they could of done or how they could have helped you. Believe me, I know you want your space and to be left alone, shoot I don't even know if you'll see this whoever you are out there, but just know if you just tell someone what to do if you're in a dark place, they'll most likely do it. Some people may think it's wrong but if they know you then they know what will happen if they let you go through with it. I personally love isolating myself from the world when something happens. I don't even play music sometimes I just sit there in silence. It lets me recapture my thoughts before they're too late. It varies how long it'll take but you gotta know, someone is waiting for you to open up and to let you know they care, even if you know they care they still want to remind you that even if you do some bullshit to them or hurt them that they won't want to do those things back to you because you probably pushed them back into a corner they've been stuck in a while but they just get comfortable with it until the darkness just fills the body up and they feel no pain. They're numb, but they wouldn't want you to feel numb with them because they want you to feel alive and smile and happy no matter the cost or the effort. You're a warrior, you can fight until your last breath but that don't mean defeat, defeat is when you give up on yourself without anyone helping. Someone out there loves you and will respect you with all that you request but just don't make them feel at blame for something they wish they could help do.
But you know, I know you more than anyone I know, including myself, and I know when you're upset you want to be left alone and isolated. You're just like me. But please just know I'm here for you. I hope I helped somehow in one way or another. Don't be the game, be the player, control your outcome.
I love you man.
