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[CHAPTER FIFTY]
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"YOU'RE ALREADY PACKING?" said Mei as she entered Odette's dorm.
"Yeah. . ." said Odette as she finished folding a jumper, "I don't have many things to pack anyway."
"Why are you packing? You could just pack tomorrow, you know," said Mei, "It won't take that long."
"I have plans for tomorrow," said Odette, "I would much rather finish packing today."
"By any chance. . .do tomorrow plans include a certain Black?" said Mei as she sat on Odette's bed with a teasing smile.
Odette smiled softly, "They might."
Mei frowned, "I don't sense much excitement. Did something happen?"
"No, don't be silly," said Odette, "The realization is just really kicking in, you know? This is it."
"Isn't it exciting though?" said Mei, "It's our turn to build a life for ourselves."
Odette forced a smile. Mei noticed and stood up, "Hey? I thought you couldn't wait to leave. Why the sudden change? I thought you would have been bouncing off the walls by now, watching the clock tick by."
"I've just realized that I don't want to be an adult," said Odette as she shook her head, "The outside world is cruel. It's just whipping our back repeatedly until we fall and when we fall, it just kicks us until we fall off the cliff. We try to hold on onto the edge, but it just steps on our fingers and watches us fall into the ocean below. It does nothing while we drown and struggle for air. We breathe in and gasp but all we get is water and eventually, you just give up. You let yourself sink to the bottom and accept your fate."
Mei was stunned. She didn't know what to respond as Odette shoved the last pair or robes into her trunk and stormed out of the dorm. Mei stayed still for a moment before she went after her friend.
"Odette!" she called out as she followed her into the lavatory. Odette locked herself in a stall.
"Odette," said Mei as she knocked on the stall, "Come on. It'll be okay. You'll have us. We'll welcome you with open arms whenever you decide to give us a surprise visit."
"I'm so selfish, Mei," said Odette as she wiped her cheeks furiously, "I want more than what I have."
"No. . ." said Mei as she leaned her head against the stall, "That doesn't make you selfish, that makes you human."
"Well, I don't want to be human!"
Mei laughed but there was nothing funny about her laugh, "If only it was that easy. . ."
Odette undid the latch on the stall. Mei pulled away and turned around. Odette opened the stall.
"Need a hug?" said Mei as she opened her arms.
"Yes," mumbled Odette as she wrapped her arms around her. Mei returned the action.
"Everything will work out, I promise," said Mei as she patted Odette's back. Odette shook her head.
Odette woke up to the light pouring in through the window. She blocked her face from the stream of sunlight. She realized that Mei had forgotten to close the curtain around her bed when she left last night. She shut the curtain that was letting the sun in and flipped to the other side. She wondered if Regulus was already awake.
She just wanted to be with him for the whole day. She didn't care anymore, she just wanted him. Odette stood up from her bed and finished adding a few other things to her trunk.
By the time, she had finished getting ready, Emma was just opening her eyes.
"You're up early," she mumbled as she rubbed her eyes and yawned.
"Yeah. . .last night was rough. I had so much on my mind that I could only toss and turn," said Odette.
"So I heard," said Emma.
"Sorry," winced Odette, "Was I too loud?"
"I'm just kidding with you, Odette. I mean I did hear you, but it wasn't that bad."
Odette smiled slightly.
"Are you going down for breakfast?"
"Yes," said Odette.
"Alright, I'll see you there."
Odette nodded and turned away. She stopped by Mei's dorm to see if the girl was awake. She had a feeling Mei was not and was proven right when she heard her snores. Olivia Mae, on the other hand, was wide awake and doing her makeup. She looked up and spotted Odette. She returned to blending and just as Odette was about to leave, she said, "Good morning."
"Good morning," muttered Odette.
"Come take a seat," said Olivia Mae, "I'll wake up Mei for you if you'd like."
"Oh no!" said Odette, "It's fine. Mei's cranky if she gets woken up early anyway."
"Yes. . .I suppose you're right," said Olivia Mae. "You can sit with Aditi if you'd like. She's down at breakfast if that's where you're heading."
"I see. . .thank you."
"You sound miserable," said Olivia Mae, "What's been sucking the life out of you?"
"Life," said Odette with a shrug, "I'll see you down there, Livi."
"Yeah, of course, I'll tell Mei to hurry her arse up when she awakens from her beauty sleep."
"Thank you."
Odette left Mei's dorm and headed down to the Great Hall. She had never been up so early and wandering the halls at Hogwarts before. It was odd seeing the empty corridors. She was so used to them being filled with people.
The first thing she did when she entered the Great Hall was look over at the Slytherin table. There was no Regulus. She held back a sigh of disappointment and headed to where Aditi was sitting.
"Hey, mind if I sit here?" she asked.
Aditi looked up and shook her head, "No, not at all. Go ahead."
"Thank you," said Odette.
She down and looked at her breakfast options. She wasn't feeling like eating anything available. However, she took a slice of toast and smeared jam all over it. She ate it. Then she grabbed another slice of toast with jam, except she added blueberries. She hated blueberries, yet she hoped their taste distracted her mind. No amount of blueberries eased her pain though. Their horrid taste (in her opinion, of course) did not compare to the horrid feeling in her chest.
"I thought you hated blueberries," said Aditi after she watched Odette eat half the bowl of blueberries.
"I wish I could hate them more," mumbled Odette.
Aditi blinked, "What?"
"That's enough blueberries for you," said Mei as she distanced the bowl from Odette. She plopped down beside her.
"Eat something else. You're eating too much bread and too much jam. Here, have a fruit salad with no blueberries," said Mei.
Odette poured and began to complain, but Mei hushed her.
"I know you're moping about something, but you have to take care of yourself. Now eat. You're not going anywhere until at least half of your fruit is gone."
"Yes, mother," said Odette.
"Are you moving out of your mum's place, Mei?" asked Aditi.
"Not yet," said Mei, "I have a lot of planning and organizing left to do."
"What? But you've been planning for two years now!"
"Yes, but it all has to be perfect," said Mei.
Aditi shook her head, "What about you, Odette? What are your plans?"
". . .I'm moving back to France," said Odette.
"Oh!" said Aditi, "You must be excited."
"Yes, I suppose I was."
Aditi frowned.
"Don't mind her," said Mei, "She'll be ok."
Aditi nodded warily, ". . .Where's Livi?"
"She poked herself in the eye and was drowning her eye the last time I saw her."
Odette moved the fruit around with her fork as she stared at the doors to the Great Hall. She wondered when Regulus would show up if he showed up at all.
"Your plate doesn't look empty enough, Odette. I know for a fact you're not full. You barely touched your dinner last night. I doubt there's anyone who can get full just by nibbling a single carrot."
Odette sighed, "Yeah, yeah. I'll finish my breakfast if you'll stop nagging me."
It wasn't until Odette was finishing up that Regulus finally showed up. She followed him with her eyes as he sat down at the Slytherin table. He looked up and made eye contact with her. Odette spun around. She took a second before she turned back around. He was still staring her direction and rose an eyebrow at her. Odette forced a smile and turned around.
"Can you pass the blueberries, Aditi?" said Odette.
"Sure. . ." said Aditi.
Odette took them and shoved as much as she could into her mouth.
"Odette!" exclaimed Mei as she took away the blueberry bowl from her, "That's not how you — Odette, what's wrong?"
Mei places a hand on Odette's arm as the other girl fought back tears.
"They just taste so gross," cried out Odette.
Mei shook her head, "Don't tell me that you're crying over the taste of blueberries when you ate them on your own accord."
"How can they look so appealing yet be able to destroy me?"
"Blueberries can't destroy you. Here, have some pumpkin juice to wash down the flavor."
Odette gulped down the juice.
"Slow down or else you'll choke," said Mei, "You okay?"
Odette nodded, "Yeah. Sorry."
"Don't be. I was on the verge of insanity myself when I lost my father. I haven't been able to completely move on quite yet."
"Were you?" mumbled Odette before she stood up, "I'm finished."
"Where are you going?" asked Mei.
"I need some time to think alone, excuse me," said Odette.
Mei grabbed her hand, "We'll be in the courtyard if you need us."
"Okay," she said.
Mei tightened her grip on Odette's hand slightly before releasing it.
There were no tears left for Odette to produce, so she was left to think with no outlet. She had spent most of the time wandering around until she decided to wait in the room of requirement until it was time for Regulus to show. She stared at the ceiling while she got lost inside her head.
"Are you okay?" asked Regulus as he entered the room of requirement.
Odette sat up and forced a smile, "Yes."
"Hmm. . .I don't believe you."
"If you knew the answer, why even ask?" said Odette as she fell backward.
"Come on, make space," said Regulus as he squeezed himself beside Odette. She smiled as she scooted over.
"Will you take care of Zemi?" he said as he turned to look at her.
"I'd love to," said Odette as she rested her head on his chest.
"Take good care of him," he whispered.
Odette looked up, "Of course. So, this is the last day we'll ever see each other?"
Regulus didn't respond.
"It doesn't feel real," said Odette, "What are you going to do when you arrive home?"
"I'll be home for a while," said Regulus, "but it's best if we depart now."
Odette adjusted her body.
"Why?"
"It'll only hurt more the more we wait," said Regulus.
"It'll hurt nevertheless," said Odette as she leaned down. Regulus lifted a hand to cup her cheek.
"Odette. . . I know what you're trying to do."
"One night, Reg. Just one night. That's all. We already established that this is the last time we'll ever be together. What harm can one night do?"
"Odette. . . Aurélie. . .one night sounds wonderful, but. . ." Regulus looked away.
Odette sighed as she stood up. She walked to the bookshelf in the room and looked at the books with a sharp glare.
"It's just one night," said Odette, "Our last moments together."
"One night. . ." mumbled Regulus.
"Don't you want it too?" said Odette softly as she turned around.
Regulus stood up and walked over to her. He grabbed her hands.
"If something goes wrong —"
"Nothing will, Reggie," whispered Odette as she grew closer.
"Okay," said Regulus, "It's just one night."
Odette smiled softly just before he leaned down and their lips met.
She woke up alone. She figured she would. She turned around only to feel something strange and squeaked. She let out a sigh when she realized that it was only Zemi. Zemi had woken up from how loud she was and stared at her.
"Sorry," she said as she ran a hand through his fur, "Wow, you've so grown so much, Zemi."
She thought of how she was going to explain to Mei where she suddenly got a cat from as she got ready to head to her dorm. She slipped on her shoes and went to pick up Zemi, only to realize that there was something beside him. She rose an eyebrow as she picked up the box. There was a small note attached to the top.
Open when you need it most.
Odette smiled softly. She could feel the tears come to her eyes, which she quickly wiped away.
"Alright, no crying," said Odette, "Come, Zemi."
She placed the box into her bag and carried Zemi all the way to her dorm. She put him on her bed as she waited for Mei to barge in. She didn't have to wait long for Mei to come in.
"Odette, you're back!" said Mei, "Where were you last night?"
"Oh," said Odette as she felt her cheeks burn up, "I - I was um —"
Mei furrowed her eyebrows, "Is that a cat? Where did you get a cat from?"
"Oh! I found him," lied Odette, "He was lost outside. I couldn't just leave him."
"Oh. . .yesterday?"
"Yup," said Odette.
"I see. . .well, are you ready to head down for breakfast?"
"Actually. . .Mei," said Odette, "I'm not really hungry. I think I'll just stay here."
"What do you mean you aren't hungry? You weren't even present for dinner!"
Odette really was hungry, but she didn't want to risk seeing Regulus. She didn't know what she'd do if she did.
"I feel sick," lied Odette, "I'll eat something in the train."
"I'll save you some food. . ." said Mei before she left the dorm room.
"Thank you," mumbled Odette. Zemi climbed onto her lap. She looked down and smiled.
"It's boring in here, isn't it? Let's go for a walk, Zemi."
Odette allowed Zemi to follow her as she strolled the corridor of Hogwarts. She caught a glimpse of the library. The place she first met him. She shook her head and hurried away. She stepped outside, taking in the breeze. It was a lot more refreshing than inside.
She had no destination in mind. She approached the Black Lake and took a seat at the bank. She stared at its calm surface. Zemi curled beside her. The wind blew again. Zemi suddenly lifted his head, Odette didn't think much of it. Not until Zemi stood up and ran off.
"Zemi!" shouted Odette in surprise as she scrambled up and went to chase after him, only to stop in her tracks.
He had ran to greet Regulus. They stared at one another. Neither said a word.
Regulus was the first to look away. He ran his hand through Zemi's fur and picked him up. He stood back up and walked over to Odette. He didn't say anything as he handed her Zemi and neither did she.
She took Zemi and watched as he retreated away from her and back to the castle. She felt the tears returning and something blocking her throat. She wanted to run after him, beg him to not go, she wanted to change his mind, she wanted to do anything but she didn't. She couldn't.
"Aurélie?" said Cassia softly. "There's something that might help."
"What could possibly help?"
"I could get you your old memories, but. . ."
"But?"
"You'd forget the ones you made here."
Odette froze, "I would?"
Odette thought about it for a moment before she shook her head, "No, no."
"Weren't your old memories all you wanted?"
"They were, but I can't do that."
How could she ever forget him? She couldn't. She didn't want to.
"Why not?"
Odette stared at Cassia as a realization dawned upon her.
"REGULUS!" she shouted as she took a step forward. He stopped but he didn't turn to look at her. He held his head down. Odette bit her lip as she held onto Zemi tighter. The wind blew her forward, almost as if it was urging her to go to him, but she remained stuck in place. She took a deep breath.
". . .I love you," she said.
Whether he heard her or not, Odette wasn't sure. What she did know, however, was that he walked away and there was nothing she could do.
A/N:
I'm pretty sure I'm going to post an epilogue, but I'll post that in an hour or two when I'm done with it.