The big bay window in the conservatory has always been my alone time spot. I was always sensitive growing up. I was triggered by anything and I would end up bawling my eyes out in this exact place. I remember the first time I came here: my parents had missed my birthday due to traffic on their way back from a meeting. I had Oliver back then, and the sweet boy came bouncing over with a large chunk of cake he bought from the baker's for me. He fed it to me until it was finished, and I was giggling again. Although my Mum and Dad did make it up to me by taking myself and my best friend out for the weekend, the glass room has been my safe space ever since.
The funeral was yesterday, and I was overwhelmed with how many people attended. My parents had a habit of keeping their social lives separate from work, which must have been difficult with how business ruled their lives. But when my house was packed with grieving family friends, I realised how many lives my parents had touched.
The event was colourful, barely any black was seen. The dress code specified to wear an outfit that expressed yourself. Mum and Dad never liked that school taught us to dress formally to appear hireable. They adored when I would go out in my leather or gothic clothing, admiring that I wasn't shy to show my personality. Thankfully, the message got across as it looked like a rainbow threw up in the hall. Anthony and I had been the only one's in black, since our wardrobe consisted of only dark colours.
My Mother's favourite flowers were everywhere; roses of every colour littered the room. Their favourite photo's sat in front of their coffins. One from our first holiday to the lake: Mum was leaning against a tree with me in her arms, the photo was taken without her knowledge by Father. The second was of their wedding day: Mum was in an elegant mermaid dress that was completely white, while Dad was in a black suit. The third was of my Dad with me after I was born.
Pulling the sleeves of my jumper over my hands, my head leans against the rain drenched glass. The droplets race to the ledge as more take their beginning place. My warm breath occasionally fogs it up, helping me remain calm.
I've been preparing for today for almost two weeks now. All of my coursework is complete and sent in. I have no more exams left, not that they would be a concern. All paperwork for the bills has been finalised and reset to my personal bank account. Fresh door keys have been cut for each of the children living here as of last Monday. All clothing and necessary belongings are packed and in the car.
I am excited to get out of town and get a fresh start where basically no one knows me, yet I am nervous to leave the rest of my family behind. I've never left town long term without a return date, and never have I gone without a positive reason. Now though, I'm going to restart after a month and a half of chaos that's left me feeling weak in every possible way. I need this change of scenery to get my head straight, and even though I feel guilty for leaving the group, I need to live my own life and do what is right for me.
"Zozie! Jer's back with dinner!" The beautiful Princess skips over to me, tugging on my hand to take me with her. Everyone has been staying here for the past few days, wanting to take advantage of the remaining time. Most of us have been washing and reusing the same clothes but Rox has managed to whip up a new dress each day; I'm assuming she packed in anticipation of staying.
Today she looks as stunning as ever with her grey hair in pigtails and a whimsical tea dress covered in kites. "I'm coming, don't pull my arm off." I snicker as she drags me through to the kitchen that's full of chatter.
It seems they couldn't wait for Jeremy's return with the bowls of crisps and other snacks which have now been discarded for the slices of pizza now being chomped on.
"Drinks!" I glance at Ro who already has a jug full of some cocktails. She fills a pint glass before passing it to me. "I have to drive in a couple of hours, I don't plan on being pulled over by the police."
"Our bodies burn off alcohol too quickly, hence why we don't get drunk, meaning it can't be detected. That is unless you are a Half-Breed." I take it from her just as Holly and Carter claim to be just as good at withstanding the substance.
Raising it in the air, they all mimic with their own beer's or similar glasses of brown liquid which I assume is some whiskey mixture. We tip our heads back, downing the contents with a grunt.
"How long do you have?" My eyes lock onto Caterpillar. "Two hours at most. I want to get on the road as soon as possible, it is a two and a half hours drive. I also need to clean the place when I get there, it's been about five years since anyone has stayed there." I eye the pizza before feeling a distinct sinking in my chest.
Stepping around to the other side of the island, placing my glass in the sink before wrapping my arms around his waist and nuzzling my cheek against his shoulder. "I know. You don't have to say anything." The passing of time has resulted in becoming closer with them all, leaving my emotions to rely on theirs from time to time. Carter's however, I have become extremely sensitive to, similar to Oliver's whom I have always been in sync with.
"Remember what I said; if you need me, just call or get a taxi - I'll cover the expense." I look over them all, instilling the same rule to the rest of them. "I'm going to miss you."
"We all are." Ant says from his place to the side. Patting his knee, he gives me a wink, reassuring that he'll be alright and won't feel alone; after all, we are the only two emo's in town.
"Beer pong anyone?" Holly stands on the counter, jumping excitedly. Jeremy cringes at her careless bouncing, wearing socks on a marble surface never ends well. Nevertheless, we all agree to play her game while I finally chomp through my own pizza. "Boy's against girls!" She calls, filling up cups with hardcore vodka.
We get three shots each, and since I have incredible aim, we're winning. Carter and Oliver aren't bad either but miss a few while Jeremy and Ant have completely given up even trying. Holly's on her way to being pissed, still slightly sensitive to alcohol. Caterpillar is swaying a touch but has stopped drinking more, not wanting to mess with his meds too much.
I recently learnt, after asking, that a Wolf doctor prescribed them and that's why he doesn't burn them off instantly. Since Carter is only part Wolf, a high enough dose can work for him. I find the differences between Human, Werewolf, and Half-Breeds fascinating. They can be great or slight depending on the class or person.
While they play Rock, Paper, Scissors to finish off the bottle, I leave them to their silly antics. I hook up the massive trailers to the back of my car, wheeling my Babies into the back with some bags and boxes.
I took out the old pots and pans from the basement, not wanting to buy more. I also have some other things my parents kept from the old house, before they moved here with me. I also decided to bring my collection of films and music with me, filling up another massive box. I'm going to have spare time on my hands and need to fill it some way since the TV at the house doesn't have a satellite or cable.
"Got everything?" Spooked by the sudden voice, I turn, coming face-to-face with Oliver. The sad look on him reminds me of our first interaction. "I know you're upset, but please try to understand." I always feel bad when intruding on their feelings, I just can't help it. "Zoo, I completely understand. I'm going to miss my Baby Sister, but I know this is going to be good for you. Besides, I'm excited for how peaceful it's going to be." A small giggle passes my lips, "Don't get ahead of yourself. Jeremy and Carter are total goofballs, and Pops isn't easily maintained."
"Are you talking about us?" The rest of them come through, smiling broadly. Holly jumps onto Jer's back, wiggling from the liquor and pizza igniting her hyperactive energy. "Caum doon or am throwin' ye aff."
"You're no fun." She pouts, finally sitting still. "Ah pit up wi' yer nutty cairie-on!" He gasps in return. "Because you have no choice anymore." She says while climbing off of him, kissing his cheek before helping cram a box into my backseat. "Tak her wit' yer, please..." He presses his hands together, presenting puppy eyes. "You know it would kill you if I did."
"Got everything?" Ro asks, and just as I'm about to answer, I remember the stash of stuff in the safe. Making a mad dash up the stairs, I pull everything out and put them in another bag I find in their wardrobe. I speed back down to the garage, dropping the final bag in the back with the bikes.
"Right, got the rules?" I point between them all. At first they nod, then realise I'm expecting them to vocally repeat them. "No fighting." Ro recites. "Ring you at least once a week." Oliver follows. "Say if we need you." Anthony also adds in. "No murdering the Prick." Holly basically spits out, still unimpressed with the idea.
"Get all coursework completed." Carter finishes, knowing that is specifically for him. "Good. I want all of you to try staying happy as well." They agree, telling me to try and do the same. "I love you all so much. I'll text when I get there, then ring once settled." We fall into a group hug, several releasing a handful of tears and tightening their grip to restrain me.
Ducking out of their arms, I crawl through their legs to escape without their notice, knowing that they don't want to let go. Swiftly focusing on them all, I delve into the land of red ropes. Tying each of them to me, securing the sensation of always being connected. I know they can take care of themselves, I just get protective of my puppies whilst knowing that they shut down some emotions without realising.
"Time to go." Their focus is brought to me sliding into the car. I give them a final wink, a few complaining about how I got away from them. Sticking my hand out of the window, I wave to them while pulling out of the shutter door. A few shouts of their goodbyes make me giggle while turning onto the road.
Once safely on the main road, I reach over to turn on some music to distract me from the growing pain in my heart - one caused by my own emotions. We've all been attached at the hip since the beginning, never once have we gone our separate ways. The stories of friends losing touch is a general fear between us, though I have complete confidence that isn't going to occur.
We met under specific circumstances which brought us together, and it worked out for the best. After Oliver and I came together, we couldn't be torn apart for more than a night without there being tears, it was us against the world. However, when we saw a six year old being bullied for his accent, we couldn't resist taking him under our wing. That was the first and only time I got into trouble with school, hitting a kid that swung at me first apparently wasn't appropriate. I never cared, the teeny Scotsman was more important to me.
We later met Rosie. The day of my eighth birthday when she attacked another classmate for making fun of her insane amount of freckles and crooked nose after she broke it at six. As soon as they met, Oliver and Ro were like a couple, I guess they just knew they were mate's. She was my first female friend, and so we merged together like twins, even though Oliver and I already acted like that.
Over the course of three years, we made our friendship circle bigger by adopting the outcasts the rest of the town avoided. Anthony's lack of speech and cold demeanour left him being avoided by other students, but I sat next to him in a class and worked our way into talking with looks and movements.
Roxy then came along after moving to town for a cheaper home so her parents could travel. She kept to herself, but was drawn to Ant who intrigued her. Eventually, she found the courage to speak to us, then spent everyday with people who protected her from prying eyes.
Holly and Carter appeared around the same time, one bubbly and only tamed by a relaxed Scottish boy from her English class. The other was the same Scottish boy's teammate from rugby before giving it up. All of our differences made us change the image of 'weirdos' we each possessed into 'odd nerds'.
In the Summer, when the weather was nice, we would climb up this massive hill that's on the border of Scotland and England just to roll down it and be covered by grass by the end of the day. Jeremy's parents like to visit his 'home country', and he would always insist on taking us with him. We could sit at the top of that grassy slope for hours, talking about our future plans to conquer the world.
A lot of the time we were a lot more grounded, instead imagining a future together in a massive mansion where we would get up late at night to have snacks and mess around. Although there were childish reasons behind the idea, it is something that we've never stopped wanting to do. We even went through a stage where 'We are the Champions' by Queen basically became our theme tune.
Merging onto the motorway, I hear several howls follow through the air towards me. A range of sparks starts a fire inside of me, removing the concept of ever being alone.
With the assistance of blaring music, I soon find myself calmly driving into the countryside. Passing several cosy cottages that are only a step away from the main road, I realise it isn't frequently used judging by the many peering eyes from the windows I speed past.Thankfully, my place is a lot further from humanity, at least halfway into the forest, similar to that of Chris' setup. Currently, I'm thoroughly pleased by that fact as I remember Mother telling me that this area is inhabited by arrogant rich old people.
After the backroad, dirt trail and bridge, I finally reach the house. Smiling at the familiar building, I park in front of the beautiful sight that brings back hundreds of memories. It must have been refurbished in the last few years as it no longer looks like a gust of wind will cause it to crumble. It's the perfect mix of rustic and modern. Even still, the days I spent here flood my mind.
The once rotting panels that covered the outside have finally been exchanged for something less worn. In their place is an expensive waterproof wood that I recognise from the company's building projects. It's glazed to withstand any storm or flooding conjured within England.
The cracked slate roof has been restored to its former glory with the addition of two skylights over two bedrooms. From the thickness of the material and glimmer of the sun, I reckon they are solar panels designed to look like slate tiles. Something I recall Dad mentioning about the new construction initiative.
Along each wall are new industrial windows that stretch almost from floor to ceiling. A few bay windows have been included, mainly in the kitchen and backroom where there's the most sunlight. Each appears to own one way glass to maintain privacy.
A freshly trimmed garden surrounds the impressive architecture. Along the window sills are several seasonal herbs, mainly mint, rosemary and sage. All growing beautifully, the air reminding me of Dad's Saturday roast. Then across the rest of the grassland and along the path way: Hydrangeas, Delphiniums, Sweet Peas and Love-in-a-mist, all bloom remarkably. Their scents mix together incredibly. Visually, they complete the cottage inspired scenery.
Stepping out from my seat in the car, a round of popping joints vanishes into the treeline. Nearly three hours of sitting down does that to a body. I foolishly didn't take a five minute break to stretch out, and I'm now paying for it.
A crunching occurs under my feet as I step off of the gravel driveway beside the patio and onto the wooden decking. My fingers inquisitively run over the huge oak door of the entrance that has been engraved with golden and silver patterns.
Slipping the key in, it takes minimal effort to open the huge chunk of wood. The light switch sits behind a coat rack, allowing me to reabsorb the gorgeous home. Sure enough I was right about needing to have a clean. I don't think it has been spruced up since the remodel. At least it's almost fully furnished, only needing a few items to complete the place. I make the mental note to install a security system, not trusting the nearby village, while picking up lamp shades and curtains.
The brilliance of the build is the complete eco design. I presume Mum and Dad decided to test my ideas for a fully eco-friendly construction. This just proves I can take the concept further.
Everything here relies on nature. The solar panel roof tiles remain discreet and effective to power at least a third of the building at a time to reduce the use of unnecessary lights. There's a water purifier set up in the basement, all water is recycled by a miniature of the factory machines used across the world - it only needs to be refilled so often once it's all been drunk. There's also a water wheel connecting to a stream that produces the power for the solar panels and filtration system. To top it off, all excess energy is stored to be used at a later date.
As I had a few jobs to do, I sent a message out before heading into town. Now, after all of the small jobs of unpacking, removing dust covers and double checking every system, I'm on calling the group chat while putting away the groceries I bought from a fresh produce shop. With there being no satellite or WIFI, I'm on a new phone contract that provides unlimited calls, messages and data.
"How's it going?" Holly is still hyper over the day's events, another glass of beer in her hand while Jeremy tries to keep her still on his lap. "All good. I've put almost everything away, I'll finish that tomorrow. I've managed to clean everything and set up the heater and water systems too."
"What's it like?" Carter's in the living room with Ro and Ollie, the camera attached to the TV. "Homey. You know what I'm like when it comes to architecture. The energy efficiency and non-polluting setup is still blowing my mind. Hopefully, I can take these designs to the company and spread cost-friendly green manufacturing around the world."
"You're such an eco freak."
"Thanks, Ant, means a lot." I glare lightly over my shoulder while putting away some packets.
The remainder of the evening doesn't hold much more excitement. Apart from checking in with the group, I'm just moving boxes back and forth and changing bed sheets for the wash. I may have been wary at first, but now that I'm here, I'm in love. I don't think that I'm going to leave, even after I've fixed my mental health. It kind of makes me feel guilty since I was planning to move back to Pickingrod. Now, though, this is home.
Slumping onto the sofa, I connect my phone to the TV. I start a cooking playlist, determined to start eating healthy with the nearest takeaway being a forty minute drive. A professional chef pops up, describing an Italian meal that hopefully I will soon know how to create myself. I'm going to become the woman I've always wanted to be.