Tobias
I work hard, sleep long and force laughs on myself, but even that cannot fully block Tris' presence from my mind. I feel as if she's watching over me, a guardian angel. Unfortunately, the thought does nothing to cheer me up.
I enter Evelyn and I's flat and see her preparing dinner at the kitchen counter. I go over and embrace her.
"Hello Tobias," says my mother. I unclasp my arms from around her and lean over her shoulder to see what she is cooking.
"Lasagne?" I say. I don't tell her this, but I actually hate lasagne. Don't get me wrong, it tastes delicious, but the memories that come with it are better left alone. Too many lunches with Tris in the cafeteria in the Dauntless compound, too many hearty laughs shared with friends who are no longer with us. I sigh and sit down at the table to eat. Evelyn serves me up just as Christina comes in the door.
"Hey," she says.
"Oh!" I say, looking at the calendar. "I didn't realise it was Thursday, sorry!"
Christina established a rota for dining arrangements to stop me getting lonely; I eat at hers on Mondays, Zeke eats at hers with Amar on Wednesdays, she eats at mine on Thursdays and we all go for take-out of Fridays. She sits down at the table and thanks Evelyn for the food. We tuck in, Christina glancing at the many framed photos of Tris that adorn my walls.
She suggested removing the photos some time ago, to try to forget about her death and start over, and I blew up at her. There was no way that I was going to forget Tris, not in my lifetime, not in a million years. I love her, whether she's alive or not. I just wish that I could've done things differently – maybe she would still be alive today if I had. Still, it does no good to dwell in the past. I focus on spooning my lasagne into my mouth, barely tasting it. Trying not to relieve those golden days when the girl I love was still with us.
*I have no idea if anyone actually read the first chapter, because it has two views but I think that it's probably just myself. Thanks you so much if you are reading this and I will continue later today probably!*