Days went by after my talk with Jaehyun and Taeyong. Time went by, but it went by slowly. I never knew if I should spend more time with the members or distance myself from them, just in case I did have to leave.
The members always told me throughout the day that they were trying their hardest to keep me safe, and I knew they were...but my heart was still heavy. Every mafia proved that they could turn on people in a split second, and so I was scared that something like that could happen to me.
"Hyuna!", Mark shouted my name from the kitchen, "Can you bring Jaehyun's drink to him? He's downstairs!"
"Sure!", I shouted back and grabbed Jaehyun's iced whiskey from the kitchen counter.
As I walked down the stairs, I could hear Jaehyun practicing with the punching bags. I'd grown so accustom to hearing that every afternoon, bringing his drinks down for him, and just being at the NCT headquarters in general; just thinking of leaving this place made my heart throb.
"Jae?", I raised my voice a little as I tried to get Jaehyun's attention.
He stopped jabbing at the punching bag and looked at me.
"I have your drink", I said.
He smiled and began to take his hand protectors off. "Thanks. You can put it on the stool there"
I did what he told me and went to leave the basement.
"Hyuna, wait.", Jaehyun's voice sounded serious. I paused and turned around, staring at him in the eye without saying anything for a few moments.
"Yes?", I asked.
"You haven't been talking to anyone lately"
"And?"
"What are you pulling this shit for?"
I squeezed my hands in my pocket, "Well, I'm sorry, Jaehyun! I just...the whole NewKidd thing and-"
"Oh, so this is about the NewKidd deal?", Jaehyun scoffed and irritably ran his hands through his hair.
"Yeah! It is! Because things are getting real now and I don't know what's gonna happen!"
"Hyuna, we promised to keep you safe as long as we could"
"I don't give a damn about your promises! If NewKidd or my dad ever finds me, that's gonna be my problem since you and your team can't get 'too included'"
"So what do you want me to tell you?"
"I don't want you to tell me anything. I just don't want you to judge me from keeping myself from you guys since there's a chance I might not see any of you again"
"Its not gonna turn out that way"
"Oh yeah? Jaehyun, wake up! NewKidd are some of the most experienced mafias out there!"
Jaehyun stared at me, and then at the floor. "So you don't fucken trust us"
"Its not that. I don't trust my dad"
Jaehyun nodded and grabbed his whiskey, slowly taking a sip from his glass.
"Jaehyun?", I mumbled.
"Yeah?"
"The reason I'm 'distancing' myself...", I paused and looked at him, "Is because...I think I'm sacred of losing you guys..."
He stared at me. I continued, "I'm scared of losing you"