The last whistle blows, Ohira Reon shifted his body to the right in an attempt to save the last ball. The ball that should've went up if Ohira successfully saved it, the ball that should've landed on Shirabu's fingers for the second touch.... and lastly, the ball that should've went high up for the ace spiker, Ushijima. Yet it dribbles on the ground after it reflects off of Ohira's arm. Silence fills the whole stadium. Your ears feel like as if it was deafened, your heart sinks to the ground.
Karasuno won with a score of 21 to 19.
" We..... lost?..." you couldn't believe it, even though you repeat those words over and over again you still couldn't believe it. Your head begins to spin, you were too focused in the game that you didn't even know how to react once the last point was earned by Karasuno. Your mind couldn't keep up with all the thoughts in your head.
Loud cheers fill up the stadium, the cheers from the opposing team, of course. " Thanks For your support!" You hear but don't look, because you know it'd be painful to see the other team celebrating instead of you.
A thought floats in your head, you clench your fist as soon as you realize you've been worried about the wrong player all along.
"Kenjiro, are you alright?" Sweat all over his neck and face, Ohira Reon looks at the young setter in concern. Shirabu has been absent minded ever since the game ended, his head was floating in space, trying to figure out what had just happened. Shirabu looks at his senior and looks down at the floor.
"Yes" he replies. " My head's spinning a little. I never thought we would lose"
Ohira stares at him in sadness, he turns his head away to face the team, who was walking in defeat towards you and the coaches. " Well, no one here thought we would lose." Ohira's eyes land on you.
" Especially her" Ohira signals with his eyes and Shirabu looks up to look at you in a pitiful state. You were trying your best to prepare the towels yet your hands were shaking and flailing around, you were attempting not to let your tears out . Shirabu lowers his head down in defeat.
Moments later, tear drops fall lightly on the floor. Shirabu, Ohira, Goshiki and Soekawa's eyes close with tears falling down on their cheeks. You accidentally took a look at them and seeing them cry made your throat sting, you were on the verge of crying as well yet you try to maintain a calm person for the team.
" Goshiki, you tried your best." Is what you'd want to say but no words seem to come out of your mouth. The coaches stand still, waiting for the players to arrive in front of them. Coach Washijo's face showed no emotion and Coach Saito became stern. The team arrive in front of them. Ushijima stands on the far left of the circle and you stand on the opposite side, looking down at the floor as you bite your lips. At this point in time, your throat stung so much that it was almost hard to hold back your tears.
" We'll have a meeting after we get back. Once the awards ceremony is over get onto the bus" Coach Washijo announces with his tired yet croaky voice.
"Right" Ohira replies back. The head coach took a few steps towards the gym door but stopped to tell the team another thing. "And you'll be hitting a hundred serves later" he says, looking back with his arms still wrapped around his back.
Tendou holds his head up and looks like he was about to give up. Shirabu, on the other hand, looks weakened and defeated. You let out a silent sigh. Ushijima's fists are clenched, a towel resting in his curled up hands.
You left with the coaches earlier so you didn't have the chance to watch the ceremony.
"I'd rather slit my throat open than watch that" you say to yourself. You flop your butt down the cold bench sitting outside the stadium. The coaches roamed around the stadium and you decided to wait for the team outside. You stare at the empty skies, wandering around in your thoughts.
" That middle blocker..." you recall the chills you got when jersey number 11 blocked one of Ushijima's powerful spikes. You recall chanting the words ' no way' after that shocking moment. Karasuno was never a flightless crow, you thought.
" Did Oikawa spill some bullshit information? None of them were even useful during the game!" You complain to your other self. If a random passerby were to see you right now, they'd think you were a lunatic talking to yourself.
" Fuck you, Oikawa" you pantomime a middle finger pose, as if you were giving the finger to Oikawa himself.
" What did I even do to you, f/n-chan?"
The familiar voice causes you to roll your eyes. Out of all the fucking time you chose to appear, you chose now? Tough luck.
Oikawa towers over you, his hands placed inside his pockets. He's wearing a casual outfit which you don't see often. His face has the smug look all over, delighted to see his ex-girlfriend AND rival in defeat.
" Here's what you did." You stand up, getting ready to spill your frustration on the guy. " You gave me some bullshit, fake and unbelievable infos about those two" Oikawa smirks and continues to listen to you intently.
" I should've known! I should've known that what you were saying about them at that time weren't true. Spiking with your eyes closed? Aiming the ball at minus tempo to a spiker without signals? Even a child wouldn't believe that!" You vent out your frustration, however, Oikawa looks at you in disbelief. He shakes his head and smirks, a smug smile forms on his face.
" and you really thought I was a reliable source?" He asks in a frustrated tone. " f/n-chan.. do you think... people stay the same? That they don't change? That they don't improve? Do you think that the teams that failed to win their games spent the summer relaxing and basking under the sun?" He pounds you with questions.
" I.. I don't know" you reply back.
" They practiced, f/n. They were swallowed up in their own feelings of defeat that they practiced so hard to improve. That's what happened, f/n"
" That's what happened to Karasuno" Oikawa adds. His face turned serious in seconds. Your head lowers down in sadness.
" I just.... I just wanted my team to win..." your voice becomes quieter as you bite your lips in order to hold your tears back. Your eyes widen when you feel his hand on top of your head.
" Don't we all?" Oikawa attempts to comfort you, a sad smile plastered on his face.
" What's going on?" Ushijima's deep, husky voice startles you and Oikawa quickly removes his hand from your head. His face returns to the smug look he had earlier once he sees Ushijima.
" Congrats on losing, Ushiwaka" Oikawa teases. Ushijima stands beside you, he was covered in his jacket and his face looks much calmer than earlier.
" Same goes to you" Ushijima responds with a poker face. The honest yet also sarcastic comment of Ushijima made Oikawa a little pissed off.
" Where's the confidence? You sound like you're about to kill someone" He asks Ushijima, your eyebrows furrow at his statement. To you, Ushijima didn't sound like that at all.
Before this argument could take a turn for the worse, you decide to step in. " Oikawa, that's enough, stop rubbing salt in our wounds. And can you please be considerate, you lost as well so you should know how we feel"
"..... Actually I don't know how you feel, Ushijima" The smug and pretentious character he had earlier disappeared, his aura becomes serious again.
" Ever since the beginning I knew that Tobio-chan was going to defeat me one day. So I wasn't surprised when that day came."
" But you, you had no idea how threatening it feels like for someone to steal your spotlight one day. Because your spotlight will never be taken, Ushijima.." Oikawa's voice saddens.
You try your best to keep up with him yet you were lost, you look over to Ushijima who seemed like he was listening intently.
" Me? I had my spotlight and fame and now Tobio-chan can enjoy his.. but you'll never be worried about that because you're the number 1 ace of Miyagi after all..... I guess you felt a little tinge of annoyance when you were playing against Chibi-chan right?" Oikawa chuckles sarcastically.
" You were so bothered you made a few mistakes during the game." Your mouth slightly opens at how unbelievable Oikawa sounds to you right now.
" Yeah" Ushijima monotonously replies. " Too bad. If you hadn't stolen the last touch from Benkei guy, you guys would've had the chance"
" Shut up, shittykawa" Oikawa looks at you, offended that you called him the term that he hates the most.
" Why do you keep calling me that? F/n-chan?" His childish behaviour returns, he holds his hands in front of him and moves it up and down, complaining about the fact that you called him that.
" Because you're crap" you cross your arms and look away. Oikawa places his hands beside him and looks at you, a defeated smile on his face.
" I know... that's why you broke up with me right?" You gasp at Oikawa's sudden question. Ushijima furrows his eyebrows in return and raises a brow at him. Oikawa shrugs his shoulders in response.
" Well, good game though. Had me on the edge of my seat. Bye then f/n-chan!" Oikawa turns around and lazily waves his hand as a goodbye.
Exhaustion. That's what you're starting to feel. After the game and after your sudden encounter with Oikawa, exhaustion was the result of those events.
Silence fills the air. You and Ushijima haven't talked to each other since before the game began. " L-let's head to the bus. They're probably waiting for us already"
" Yeah"
You both walk in silence.
The bus ride to the school was silent as well, all of them boys were exhausted and fell asleep while the noise of the ac echoes through out the bus. The game plays over and over in your head like a broken projector. You watch the fields outside as Ushijima closes his eyes to rest, he sits beside you as it was the team's idea.
You and the team arrive at the volleyball gym. The seniors stand in front of the younger ones. You stand beside Tendou, who was looking around the gym as if he was scanning it. The coaches watch at the far back. This time, the meeting Is being held without them and the seniors are the ones conducting the meeting. Soekawa, the Vice captain began the talking and after two minutes of it, he decided to ask the younger members if they had any questions.
" Give me a minute" Ushijima signals the vice captain to hold out. Every head in the gym turns towards the captain.
" Kawanishi.. after Tendou leaves this world-"
" Wakatoshi, don't make it sound like I'll die" Tendou cuts him off, scolding him for starting off the sentence in a rude way.
" You'll be the cornerstone for blocking" Ushijima continues anyway. He begins to give every member an advice, one by one. You couldn't believe what you were seeing, usually, he'd only give advice when someone asks for one. All of a sudden, you have a sad realization. Today marks your last day as the team's manager, which means this would be your last meeting as well. The thought almost makes you tear up, yet you forced yourself not to. When are you going to let it out, anyway?
" And, Goshiki... I'm counting on you" Ushijima finishes with the last member, the simple minded yet driven wing spiker. The future ace of Shiratorizawa. Goshiki begins to cry after the meaningful words Ushijima had given to him.
Ushijima turns around to look at you. " Any last words, manager?" Your eyes widen, hearing him call you manager again reminded you of two years ago. Memories from your first years begin to play in your head. You step out of the group to take over the meeting for the first time.
" Uhm...." Your heart nervously beats. You try to make eye contact with each and every one of the young members, sadness plastered all over their faces. You didn't know what to say, should you reassure them that they did their best? No, that sounds over cliched to you. In the end, you decide to follow what your heart speaks.
" Looking at you grow from being good players to being the best for the team, makes me very proud of my job as a manager. Seriously, even though you guys gave me stress at least once a day, there isn't a time where you guys don't make me smile..." you chuckle. The boys' faces even become sadder, trying their best to hold back their tears. They obviously adored you a lot as their manager.
You can feel your throat sting, tears are threatening to fall out of your glassy eyes. " I'm happy that I became the manager for this team. You guys have become my second family..." you give them a sad smile before saying your last line.
" Lastly... take care of the new manager okay? Don't give her a headache like you guys always do to me" your voice becomes brittle and shaky but you try to laugh it off.
" yes!" The boys bow down in gratitude and look at you with a pleased look. You motivated them and that's what matters. You did your job as the manager.
You watch over the team's last spike drill with all the seniors. You walked towards the coaches and thanked them for giving you the opportunity to manage the team. They both looked at you proudly and wished you well.
~
You and Ushijima sit on bench outside of the gym. The two of you were the last ones left, the sun begins to set and the skies turn bright orange.
" So you're going to study for the university entrance exams?" Ushijima asks you after you've told him what your plans were for the rest of the school year.
" Uhuh. My mom told me Tokyo University's entrance exams are a big pain in the butt" you laugh. Ushijima smiles at your comment and looks at you.
" I'm going to miss you" you stare at his hazel green eyes. You feel a tinge of pain inside your heart after realizing you won't see each other as much anymore.
" And you're going to continue with volleyball right?" You ask a rhetorical question. You smile at him warmly while your eyes drown in his.
" Never mind. Don't answer that..." you chuckle. Ushijima smiles in return while looking around.
" I'll be rooting for you no matter what, okay?" The last word sounds shaky as your tears begin to fall down your cheeks. Ushijima becomes startled at your sudden change of emotion and immediately hugs you. You let out the tears that you've been holding back while your heart aches.
" Even if I don't see you in the nationals..." you grasp for air after each word, crying so much that you struggle to breathe.
" I know I'll see you represent Japan one day" Ushijima comforts you by rubbing his hand up and down on your back. His face saddens after seeing you cry.
" I promise" he says. His deep voice starting to crack.
He leans his lips towards your ear. " I love you"
The three words causes you to cry even more. " Dammit... " you cry out. You're going to miss being a manager, you're going to miss being in charge of the boys and you're going to miss seeing Ushijima's efforts behind his powerful spikes.
" It's alright, we're going to see each other for the next five months okay?" He reassures you.
Five months. That's all the time you have before you graduate and before you go to Tokyo.
" Yeah" you laugh at yourself.
" Five months"