A/N:I've decided to update again because I haven't for a while even though it feels like this book isn't as good but I'll continue because I know some people read it thank you if you do ❤️ WARNING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
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Y/N POV
"Hmmmmm, what should I do?" I asked myself quietly. I leaned against the fridge as I waited for something, anything to come to my head. I walked up into my bedroom. I undressed myself quietly. Should I put on something comfortable or something weird? I opened my drawer looking at the assortment of clothes.
I picked out two outfits, which was actually just two different sweaters. One was a Dino sweater and the other was a bear.
A/N: imma put up the outfits for those who want to visually see it
Once I picked my outfit I slowly put it on. The soft fabric of the sweater sent shivers down my spine. What's even the point, It's not like anyone will notice me. I looked at the clock and let out a sigh. Currently it was 5 in the morning. I felt relief wash over me as I remembered my nightmare.
Can it actually happen, there is no way my dad would set me up for adoption. Izuku won't leave me. Without them I'm nothing? I thought about it more as my emotions began to take over. Am I really nothing without them, am I that dependent on them?
I felt my body began to slouch as I felt myself feel uncomfortable. My skin feeling like a thin layer was stopping the circulation. At that moment was when I realized how worthless I was. I laughed and held my head as I gripped my hair. Here I was thinking they would accept a quirk less teen.
I slid down the wall as I sat on the floor. My nose began to feel stuffy as I looked up at the ceiling. My vision now blurring as my emotions shifted. Its quite sad, really. I felt wet liquid flow down my cheeks. Everything is too complicated. I tried to stay as quiet as possible. Especially because Izuku had spent the night, after he had eaten a strand of my dads hair.
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Flashback: to last night
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"IZUKU CAN YOU STAY OVER TONIGHT!" I begged. I kneeled on the ground and continued to beg. He looked at the kitchen and stood there. I tried to get his attention, but he avoided my gaze. "Well I guess it's p-pretty late, so I guess I could stay for tonight," he mumbled. His eyes now looking down at his shoes.
I squeaked in victory. Yes, now I can force Izuku to wear some of my cosplays. I rubbed my hands in a evil manner and giggled. Izuku faced me and gave me a 'why the did I agree to this look' I grabbed his hand and lead him to my bedroom. I gave him a smirk and locked the door.
Im going to have so much fun, hehehe
IZUKU POV
I walked over towards the bed and sat down. She gave me a smirk and locked the door. A certain thought had came to my mind. My cheeks now burning as I diminished the idea. I played with my hair as I looked at the girl. "Y/N, whats with all the outfits in your hands?" I said nervously. I gestured to the stuff in her hands.
"Oh sweet Mochi-cheeks, you'll soon find out," she said slowly.
Y/N POV
After I had forced Izuku to play dress up he
was now currently wearing a sailor Jupiter outfit. Man Izuku, you look more feminine then me. We decided to lay on my bed and talk about things. "So Izuku, what are you planning to do once you get into UA?" I asked. I placed my head on my palm as I waited for a response.
"I want to make new friends, who can help support me and my dream of becoming a hero," He gleamed. I felt this sudden pain in my heart. What is this feeling, is it jealously? "oh cool.." I responded. He nodded his head and continued to talk. Izuku I thought I was enough.
I layed my head on his lap, the warmth making me feel sleepy. "Izuku, are you gonna be happy if you find new friends?" I continued. He moved his leg as he got in a comfortable position. I waited as I felt him stroke my hair.
"Yeah of course, I could find new people who get me and I won't be alone. I'll have someone who can understand me, someone who could go through the same pain I go through," he answered. I thought I was your best friend, I understand you, I never made you feel alone.
I quickly sat up and got off the bed. My sudden movements making Izuku confused. I looked towards the door and opened it, my back now facing Izuku. "You should get some sleep, afterall tomorrow is our last day before entrance exams," I explained. I walked out of my bedroom and made my way downstairs.
I guess I really am useless, no one even notices how much pain I'm in. Probably because I've become good at hiding my feelings from others. I'm always building people up, but no one ever tries to help me.
IZUKU POV
I really wished Y/N hadn't left, she should of taken the bed. I relaxed my body and smelled the sweet scent of Y/N. I mean I guess it's really not that bad, now that I think about it. Izuku what are you thinking! This is Y/N's bed not yours! I then grabbed my spare pjs and walked out of the bedroom, I quietly made my way towards the bathroom. I looked at the mirror as I changed out of the sailor uniform into something more comfortable to sleep in,
I sure have changed huh, my body looks more stronger and less weak and meek. I proceeded to change into my pjs wondering what Y/N was doing, she's probably asleep by now. I opened the bathroom door and heard quiet mumbling. Is that Y/N? I slowly walked into the living room making sure to not make any sound.
I heard the mumbling much more clearly when I had made it to the couch, I softly pressed my head towards the couch and listened. Wait this is being nosy! I shouldn't be doing this, especially since this not my house, but it wouldn't hurt to listen for a while. I diminished my thoughts and listened, small quiet sniffles came from her mouth, and I heard Y/N cry. I've never heard Y/N cry she was always reserved when we were kids and would never cry, so why now?
Her sniffles made my heart break, I then heard her talk quietly to herself "am I not good enough" I then wondered what she was talking about "it's not like I was his first, I'm a nobody he's better off without me" I then realized she was probably talking about me. Y/N do you feel the same way about me? "He probably doesn't even consider me his friend and only sees me as an annoying acquaintance"
I was in shock, Y/N's never been this sad before. Didn't she get the hint that I was talking about her when I mentioned someone who could understand me, I was hinting that I liked her it wasn't obvious but it was subtle. I then felt pain and guilt for making Y/N feel this way. I soon decided to leave and leave her be, afterall I'm not supposed to be listening to her in the first place. My feet then slowly made their way across the kitchen touching the cold floor as I creeped back to her room. I found her bedroom and slowly opened the door and closed it as quietly as I can, and instantly smelled Y/Ns scent. I uncovered the bed and laid down covering myself in the bedsheets.
Y/N I do see you as a somebody, not like a friend...but something more. I hope you can realize my feelings about you and accept, even if you don't I'll be happy if you knew what I feel like.....and I'm lucky to have you as my best friend.
I looked at her stuffed plushies, each and every one of those plushies were given to her everytime a family would reject her at the orphanage she had explained to me one day when we were playing at the playground since I had asked her where she would get her plushies every Friday. She would say it was to make her feel better, but deep down I knew it would hurt her even more. Now the plushies are there for remembrance on how far she has come. I should keep a close eye on Y/N shes been acting strangely, and I don't want her to hurt herself
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Flashback over
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I then looked at my bed to see Mochi-cheeks sleeping peacefully. Izuku looks so peaceful...I shouldn't disturb his peace and annoy him with my feelings. I'll just get in the way again like how I've always been a stupid clingy kid, a quirkless one too.
I had felt the similar feeling of tears prick at the corners of my eyes. I then rubbed my eyes trying to rid of the tears, but more kept leaking out. In a hurry I ran out of the room and ran down the stairs, almost tripping on my way towards the front door. I should just die...right? I then unlocked the door and felt the cool air kiss the surface of my skin. I then heard footsteps come down the stairs. I looked to see Izuku run down the stairs, I don't want him to see me so vulnerable...that will just break me even more.
I then slammed the door and ran far from the house. The Sakura petals that were once filled with color and joy were now grey and dull. It was as if the whole world had turned monochromatic and the only color left was myself. I continued running my lungs burned in pain "Y/N PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME" I had already knew it was Izuku. I quickly turned into the alleyway and lost him. My legs felt numb and I stood there. I suddenly felt a piercing headache and voices started to talk. It was no ordinary voices but it was my own,
YOU SHOULD JUST DIE
"no..."
ITS NOT LIKE ANYONE CARED ABOUT YOU IT WAS ALL PITY
"no...they do care for me"
THEN GO AND KILL YOURSELF
"I'm here to make them happy"
IF YOU WANT TO MAKE THEM HAPPY THEN GO DIE IT WILL SURLY MAKE THEM BEAM WITH JOY
The voices had finally broke me all the bottled up pain from my past. The kids would make fun of me and say I was weird, because I would go and explore. They said I was weird because I was quirkless, because I was a loner. I slowly walked out of the alleyway the whole world still monochromatic and a very faint color from myself. I had walked all the way to a bridge and enjoyed the sunrise. It sure is a beautiful sight, I then slipped off my shoes and placed them on the ground neatly, I then pulled off my hoodie and placed it beside my shoes along with my shorts. I had decided that it be better to not waste my clothes since it can be donated to someone else. My fragile skin now exposed as my white tank top was now shown. I then slowly climbed on top of the bridge and took a huge inhale. It surely is sad that I couldn't become a hero, especially in this world full of pain. I then looked down into the water which should definitely be freezing at this time. "I'm sorry everyone, I cant believe it's come to my attention that not everyone and everything in this world is fair, instead it is filled with grief and despair...maybe in the next life I will come to except my flaws and truly love myself, maybe I'll find true love, have a family to call for my own, get an amazing quirk that can help people, find something to live for...Izuku I hope you find new friends who can make you feel complete and dad now you can stop worrying about me and instead focus on mochi-cheeks....I just get in the way, maybe we shall meet again Izuku....until then...goodbye" I then closed my eyes and exhaled...darkness now consumed my vision.
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A/N: poor reader chan is in pain, I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it's crappie but remember to plz vote if you enjoyed the chapter, goodbye (^○^)