Brian's P.O.V.
Tonight was the last but one gig of our first tour. I loved the shows and everything about it, but I had to admit it was really exhausting and I was already looking forward to stop for a while and get some rest. Also, we were really close to our homes, so after the very last show, which would take place tomorrow, we were free to go and sleep in our own apartments again, after such a long time.
I was talking to Rog in our dressing room, and we were discussing his moving to my place. We would leave moving his stuff over to me and selling his flat on later this week, but he was going home with me already after tomorrow's gig. We both just couldn't wait to finally live together.
I popped into the neighboring room, to get some water, in a minute being back, but by that time Rog was gone. I guess he went to the bathroom. He seemed kind of nervous today. I supposed it was because this was nearly the last gig- for some reason, I felt more nervous that usually too.
I couldn't help but smile for myself. I was so proud of him, and so relieved that he quit drinking before every gig. I was really starting to get worried about his health- physical as well as mental. But now, everything was just alright.
I sat down and took a sip of my water just when Fred and Deaks stormed into the room, being followed by the blonde.
"Hey guys-" I started, getting up from my seat.
"Hush, hush, there's no time to waste, we're on!" Fred interrupted me, passing by me in a rush, however still being the diva he always is.
Sometimes I would get mad by this acting of his, which after a while you knew him, was getting really annoying, but not today.
I joined Rog at the end of the little parade, intertwining my hand with his.
"Hi," I whispered, pressing a quick kiss on his cheek. "You ready?"
He smiled, blinking and staring ahead of him before turning his gaze to me.
"Yeah," he replied with a weak voice.
"Great," I grinned. "You know what?"
"What?"
"Just two more nights, and then you're moving in with me!"
Roger's smile only grew and he returned me the kiss on cheek. "Can't wait."
"Me neither."
"Oh come on you two lovebirds, move it!" Came a shout from the lead singer, who was already waiting for us at the entrance of the stage.
——————
As we exited the stage, none of us were in a particularly good mood.
"Hey, where did Rog go?" I asked, when I turned around and the blonde was gone, even though he was walking by my side just a second ago.
"No idea," Deaky replied with a slightly annoyed tone in voice, which was very unusual to hear from him. Most of the time, he stayed calm and positive. "But did you notice him on stage? He hardly knew what to play!"
"He hardly managed to play," Fred grunted, not even bothering to hide his disappointment.
"He's been acting kind of weird today," I admitted, shrugging my shoulders. Of course I noticed Rog's mistakes in his performance. It was true that he clearly didn't know the songs' order, and often was offbeat. He never was like this. I started being worried. He could be sick or something. "Maybe he's ill."
"Oh we would hear him complaining if he was! He always makes sure we know and feel sorry for him!" The singer shot back, leaning his fists against hips.
"No need to be so toxic Fred," John admonished him softly. "It could be true. Roger did seem odd today to me as well."
"I'll go look for him," with that I turned around and left the two in the dressing room.
I wondered where could the drummer only be as I was walking through the alleyways in the backstage. Bathroom. Yeah. He could have just gone to the bathroom. That makes sense.
I turned around the corner, and entered the door to the men's restroom. Surprisingly, there wasn't a single soul inside.
Now, just this quickly, I ran out of reasonable options where could Roger be. I hadn't been left no option but to search throughout the entire backstage, room by room.
I opened numerous doors already and looked through all the rooms behind them, and now was just standing in front of the next ones. I didn't expect Roger to be here, as already searched through half of the building and didn't find him yet. But I had to check.
I didn't knock, grasped the door handle and pushed the door open.
Roger's P.O.V.
I floated down the stairs into the backstage, and continued on flying peacefully forward. Suddenly, I looked around, and Brian was nowhere to be found. Everyone was nowhere to be found actually. I was all alone. All alone in an empty space, just darkness surrounding me. I landed on the ground, which I couldn't see, just feel underneath my feet, and step by step moved forward. My body felt as if it didn't weight anything. I looked down, and I could see through my chest- I could see my own heart, red and beating fast. Every time it clenched, I heard another pound of blood in my head.
Ascending from the mist around me, a single door suddenly appeared in front of me. I laid my hand on the cold metal of the knob and slowly opened the door, stepping into the room. There were colorful rays of sunshine dancing, an intensive sweet aroma filling the air and the ground seemed to be swing as if it was a boat on sea.
"Ohmygod."
I heard a high-pitched female voice coming from behind. I turned around to reveal a figure standing in the door frame, it's image twirling and flashing.
"You are the drummer from the opening band!"
"Really?" I managed to mumble out, noticing just by now that I had lips. Did I have them before?
"What are you doing here? All alone," the stranger's voice continued, and I heard footsteps reaching me.
I tried to answer, but my lips didn't work. Did I lose them?
But the woman apparently didn't care about what I would say.
"Have anyone ever told you how hot you are?"
Out of the blue I felt warmth on my lips. So I still had them. I didn't loose them.
Brian's P.O.V.
I froze in the doorframe. Shock kept me in place as I stared at what was happening in front of me, unable to believe my eyes. My breath got stuck in my throat and my legs grew weak underneath me, so that I had to grasp the wall next to me firmly.
"Roger," a shriek escaped my lips.
The woman, that woman, that bitch, who was sucking off his face, stepped back, turning around, swinging her hair in the air.
My stomach made a loop, sweat covering me head to toe. My heart beat rapidly, and I felt as it was being ripped apart. This woman's hand was grasping it and crushing it in between her fingers. Actually, No. It wasn't her hand. It was Roger's. He was doing this to me. He betrayed me. He was breaking my heart.
I still couldn't believe my eyes. I didn't know what to do as I stood there, shaking and gasping for air.
"What the fuck?!" Finally I managed to get out of myself.
How could Roger even do this to me? How? What was going on?! I thought he loved me. He said he loved me. So many times. He swore.
And I did love him. He was my pure little baby. The love of my life. How could he only do this to me? How could anyone let this happen? Why would someone let me be with the love of my life and then make this happen to torture me?
I was confused. But slowly. I started realizing what was actually going on.
Roger. My Roger, the one who spent most of the happiest days with me, who shared a bed with me, who I gave so many kisses to, who I wanted to spend my whole life with, who claimed he loved me too, was kissing another person.
How could he only do this to me?
Anger rose inside me. Anger, madness, incredible wave of fury and rage. I've never felt this anger before. Never. Not even when I found out Esther was cheating on me. This time, it was way way worse. Maybe because Roger was really the only person for me. My only and true love. And he betrayed me. What a fucking piece of shit.
Seeing red in rage, I stomped towards him and without really knowing what I was doing, I landed a massive slap on his cheek. I heard him wince in pain and saw how he bent down in the spasm of pain, grasping his cheek, but I didn't care. Hardly holding back the tears, I turned around, and with the palm of my right hand burning, I stormed out of the room.
"Brian!" I heard as soon as I stepped out of the door frame. I closed my eyes, my heart crackling into pieces, but didn't stop. I continued on speed walking away. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to hear his voice.
"Brian wait!"
I wasn't going to wait. I didn't even want to face him. I just wanted to forget about everything what happened tonight. It was causing me too much pain.
"Brian!" A hand grasped my shoulder, stopping me and turning me around roughly. Facing Roger made the tears, which I was so forcibly holding back, escape on my cheeks and start rolling down my face.
"What do you-" I stopped in the middle of the sentence.
We were standing right under a light bulb. There was intense lightning shining from the top on us. Roger was facing up and the light was shining into his eyes. His eyes. I finally could see his eyes.
We were standing in the ray of pure light. The pupil of your eye extends when there is minimum of light, and shrinks when there is a lot of light.
We were standing in the ray of pure light. It was shining right into Roger's eyes. But his pupils were still wide.
Finally, finally I perceived what was going on. All my anger was gone. I didn't feel anything anymore. I felt completely empty.
I stared at Roger with clear horror, disbelief and disappointment on my face. He must have noticed it, because he stayed silent and his expression was just a reflection of mine.
I couldn't get a word out of my mouth.
I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and shaking my head.
I couldn't believe this. This couldn't be true.
I swept Roger's hand off me, leaving him behind as I walked out of the aisle.
This time he didn't try to stop me.
I couldn't believe it.
It couldn't be.
But it was. And it was all so clear now.
Roger never stopped with alcohol. He just lied to me. He kept on drinking, before every gig, destroying his health, destroying his life.
But now, not only that he was an alcoholic. He was a drug addict too.
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