I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

32

Brian's P.O.V.

So this is how it felt. To be loved by Roger. To be his lover. To be madly, completely in love with Roger. It was exactly how I imagined it. Heaven.

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Roger's P.O.V.

I was woken up in the middle of the night by a shriek. Panicking, immediately fully awake, I sat upright and it took me only a few seconds to realize where am I, why, and remember what happened last night. Yes, even through all the alcohol I did remember. Perfectly and clearly. And I didn't regret it, because it was beautiful.
I looked around, searching for Brian to find out what happened. I was pretty sure it was his scream.

I saw him and jerked myself in shock. He was there, cowering, shaking uncontrollably. In the dark, only enlightened by the moonlight, his skin seemed deadly pale, sweat glistening on his naked skin. Light was shining into his wide opened eyes, twitching from one spot to another. His heavy breathing filled the room, along with gasps for air and panic shrieks escaping his lips.
His image scared me. He looked as an animal, as a desperate stressed prey, horrified to death. He seemed ill, as with a desease. I freaked out and nearly jumped up to get the phone and call the ambulance. But I managed to stay calm. For Brian.

"Brian," I whispered.
He ripped his head, sending me a terrified look.
His nightmares. I had no idea they were this bad.
"Come here," I said softly, reaching my hands out to him slowly. I didn't want to scare him off.
As a reply he only hugged his knees and hid his face, trembling, loud sobs coming from him.
"Aw bri," I couldn't take watching his pain anymore, so I moved next to him, wrapping my hands around his skinny body, hugging him tightly.
When I touched him, he bursted into hysterical crying, as a panic attack, similar to those I had, but not full of panic and stress, this was more horror and sadness.
"It's gonna be alright," I whispered, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek, wet from tears. "I'm here."
He snuggled to me, holding me, trying to unsuccessfully hold back his breakdown.
"It's alright. You can cry. Everything will be alright," I assured him quietly. I felt his warmth through my palms as I rubbed his back and pressed him against my body.

I've seen Brian heartbroken but I've never seen him so desperate and horrified. I couldn't imagine what pain he was going through. I wanted to help him, wanted all his worries to go away, but I didn't know how. I didn't know how to comfort him, but I tried my best.

We stayed like this the rest of the night. I held him, my heart breaking over his pain, until he finally calmed down again and for few minutes fell asleep.

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Brian's P.O.V.

I couldn't believe it. First time in many years I was able to fall back asleep on the same night I woke up because of my nightmares. First time in many years I didn't run away. First time in years I didn't even remember my nightmares from that night. All thanks to Roger. He comforted me. He held me. He had his patience, his understanding. He knew exactly how to calm me down even though not even I knew it. Only his presence made me feel better and safer. Just because of this, I loved him even more.

Now it was already a hot sunny day and me with Rog went out for a lunch in a small cozy restaurant. We got out of the hotel early and went on a walk first, to escape John and Fred who were both probably sleeping through their hangovers, not reveal that we were together the whole night, and wanted to be alone too.