I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

8

Roger's P.O.V.

I pulled one cigarette out of its pack and placed it between my lips, searching for the lighter in my pockets. I stayed in the van, parked in front of my apartment, after I dropped off all the others at their places. It was the middle of the night, but I was too stressed out to get out of the car and just go to sleep.
Finding the machine, I lit the cigarette and inhaled shakily, letting the smoke out of the opened window, into the cold darkness. I was feeling fine now- I didn't lie to Brian about that- I wasn't going to vomit any second anymore. What was making me nervous was the state I was in before the gig. I simply couldn't hide the realization that I apparently did have a fear of performing in front of people. And that was a big problem. A massive one. I can't have this attack before every concert! We want to be famous. We will have shows- that's what we want! I can't just fuck off the boys now and tell them I can't do it. They rely on me, and I do on them.
I pulled from the cigarette again, the heavy smoke filling my lungs before I let it out again. Even though the drink before the gig made me much better, it was still worrying me. What if next time, it doesn't work? Or the time after?
I sighed closing my eyes. For now, it did work, for now, there was nothing to worry about. And now, I really needed another drink.

I threw the cigarette out of the window, starting the engine and heading to the closest small club I knew. When I arrived, I stretched through the crowd towards the bar and took a seat at one of the bar stools. Waiting for the service, I took a quick look around.
It was the finest hour for the club, full of people dancing, drinking and simply having a good time. I didn't recognize anyone particular I knew here, but many girls had their skirts way to short and their necklines way too wide to not catch my attention.

"Hey," came from behind me, and I turned around to reveal a pretty girl with her brown hair tied up, behind the counter.
"What will it be?" She Asked with a flirty smile, leaning over towards me.
"Two martinis, one for me, one for you," I grinned, placing my hand over hers before she ran off to prepare my order.
"Here it is, two martinis. One for you," she came back soon and handed me the drink. Then she climbed on the counter and sat on it right in front of me, the other during still in her hand. "And one for me," she finished her sentence and took a sip from her cocktail with a smirk.
I smiled back, looking into her eyes, tasting my drink.
"So what's your name, lovely?" I asked sliding with my hand slowly from her ankle up to her knee.
"Nikol," she answered, her cheeks turning red, but otherwise not getting unhinged at all.
"A beautiful name for a beautiful lady," I continued with my hand up her thigh soon sliding at the edge of her skirt.
She let out a small gasp she tried to hide behind her glass.
I pulled away from her and downed the rest of my drink before standing up and taking her hand.
"Why don't we take this, somewhere little more private?" I asked her, getting her down from the bar.
"I-I can't, I have to work," she explained as she put away her glass, but she didn't walk away from me as well.
"Well, I'm sure you can allow yourself a short pause for a few minutes, don't you?" I smirked as I started leading her through the gathering of people to the exit.

I let her into the back of my van, and as soon as she closed the door behind us, I pressed my lips against hers, soft and rosy ones. After a second, she kissed back and slid her hands into my hair. I brought my hand up to her chin, other one sliding down to her lower back, fingers fiddling with the edge of her skirt. The kiss turned rougher as I stuck my tongue in her mouth and they both danced in sync. I started slowly pulling up her blouse, sliding my hand underneath and making my way to her bra. She moaned silently into the kiss and pulled away, resting her forehead against mine and brushing away the line of saliva connecting our lips. I removed my hand from under her clothes, looking into her eyes, feeling quite thankful that she stopped me. Her dark brown hair tingled me on my face so I brushed them away. Those damn hair. Those stupid hair were probably the reason why I suddenly felt out of mood. I was disguised of myself because they kept on reminding me of Brian, and with that, it also made me remember what happened earlier today.
"I'm sorry, I really have to go," she breathed out.
I gave her one more quick kiss on the cheek, gave her the change for the drink I ordered, then opened the door for her and let her out.

I couldn't force myself to drive back to my place and go to sleep. I've dragged one more cigarette out of the
pack and inhaled its smoke, sitting for hours in the silent dark van before finally making up my mind.

Brian's P.O.V.

My eyes shot wide open and I sat upright, gasping for air, shaking in horror, as I've been woken up by another of my terrible nightmares. Cold ran throughout my whole body, and my head was spinning as I was searching with my eyes through the darkness of the night.
I still couldn't shake off the fear and the panic.
I jerked myself when suddenly the phone rang. For a second, I couldn't understand what was happening, still in a trance, but in another, the buzzing sound of the machine felt so annoying that I couldn't take it any while longer, and I rushed out of bed, stretching for the phone, just to make the dreadful sound stop.

"Yes?" I picked up the phone, my voice shaking. The sound of my voice in the silent house was overly loud and disturbing. My legs suddenly felt weak underneath me, and slowly started to bring me down to the ground, sliding against the wall.

"Brian? It's Roger. Are you okay?" Came from the phone. The sound of the voice of the young drummer shocked me, I truly didn't expect him to call. I didn't know why he did. But I could hear his concern, he must have noticed that something's not alright.
"Y-Yeah, I-I'm Fine," I replied shortly, placing my palm on my sweated forehead. "W-why did you call?"
"Brian, are you sure everything's alright? You definitely don't sound like it. I... I can come to your place right now, is you want," he claimed, sounding worried.
His offer caught my attention for a moment, as I was at the edge of mental breakdown by now, desperately wanting to tell someone my struggles. But he also sounded tired, exhausted. He needed to rest, I can't make him drive around the city in the middle of the night. It's too dangerous for my selfish whining.
"N-no, no, it's fine, it's fine. Thanks, still. Why are you calling though?" I assured him, clearing my throat to sound calm.
"Okay..." he backed off haltingly. "You know, the thing is about what happened earlier today. I mean- yesterday evening. In the car. I was acting rude towards you, and I shouldn't. I'm sorry Bri," he explained in a small voice.
"It's-it's Alright. Really, it's nothing," I replied, startled by his acting, as I understood that it was his stress which made him impolite, and I didn't even felt as if it needed an apology. And mostly- I didn't know Roger was the type for such apologies. But I did welcome it.

"Any chance you will tell me what bothered you?" I tried it again, hoping he would tell me.
There was a short pause in the speaker, but even then, I knew he wasn't going to open up.
"I was just sick Bri. I'm all good now, don't worry," he said, but of course I didn't trust him. I could sense it.
"Okay," I let him be, avoiding any more questions I wanted to ask him. "Will you be fine for tomorrow's gig?"
"Yeah I will," he answered immediately. "And you?"
"Of course. I'm fine."
I didn't know what more to say. Roger didn't speak either. I thought it was time to end the call, and allow him to get some sleep, so I inhaled to say goodbye.
"Brian?" Came from the phone suddenly.
"Yes?"
"It's one of your nightmares again, is it?"
I froze in shock, had no idea what to answer.
"Yeah," I said after a while quietly.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes, I am now," I told him, and I wasn't lying. Talking with him calmed me down, swept my fears away.
"Okay. That's good."
"Go and get some sleep Roger," I smiled into the phone. "I know you didn't had any till now. You need it."
I heard a faint chuckle.
"And as always, you're right."
"Goodnight Rog."
"Goodnight," he replied and with a muffled thud, our phone call was cut off as he hung up.
I sat there quietly in the dark, holding the phone in my hands, smiling over the sound off the drummers voice, which led me out of darkness. When I first met him, I already knew he was a nice chap, and as I got to know him, I fancied him just more and more.

With a sigh I returned the phone on its place, and got up on my trembling legs. I quickly changed into some clothes for the outdoors and grabbed my guitar before rushing out and slamming the door closed behind me. I sat in the street, few blocks away from my apartment, back leaned against the wall. I looked up. The sun just started to go up on the sky, and from the clouds up above, small raindrops were falling down on earth, shimmering on my skin and in my hair.

I inhaled the cold air and with a smile and the memory of tonight's phone call started playing.

Hey guys
Alright this is the first time I've ver written a kissing scene lol
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