I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

52

Brian's P.O.V.

I felt isolated from the surrounding world. Nothing was happening. Nothing mattered. I didn't care about anything. I didn't feel anything. I didn't even think about anything.
It was just the pain, knives stabbing into my heart, unwilling to stop.

I was exhausted.
Somehow, only god knows how, I fell asleep.

And I woke up screaming.

Roger's P.O.V.

When I woke up, I found myself laying alone on the pavement. It was dark, probably the middle of the night. The air was cold but refreshing.
I felt weak unable to move a muscle. Nothing mattered. No one cared.
My head started to ache and spin really bad. I groaned in pain slowly brought my hand up to my forehead.
My heart stopped when I realized where I was and what was going on.
I jerked myself, bringing myself up with my hands, turning my head and looking around panicky.
They were gone.
The street was completely empty and dark except for me.
A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I fell back on the ground, shivering in exhaustion.
I closed my eyes, feeling the cold which crept into me through my face pressed against the pavement.
What is going on? What am I doing?!
I inhaled the cold air, trying to calm down my mind.
Why have I ever done this. Why did I get myself to this? It wasn't Brian's fault.Not at all. It was mine. Mine and only mine, and I knew it.
But I blamed Brian. Because it was easier. It always is easier, blame somebody else for your own mistakes.
But why him? He didn't deserve it.
I noticed a single tear streaming down my face.
I wish Brian was here now. He always has been here for me. He didn't manipulate me. That's bullshit I've made up. He's been protecting me. Caring about me. Loving me.
And I loved him.
So much.

"I wish Brian was here now," I sobbed.

He was always there for you. Every single time. He always was there, always helping you, always caring about you. But you didn't care. You didn't use his help even though you wanted it, you needed it and you knew it. You blamed him instead. You yelled at him, you hurt him- and you know that you did, and you did it purposely.
Brian has always been here for you. Until now.
Now he's gone. He ain't gonna come. And it's you fault.
Now, you will be there for him.

I wiped away my tears, and sat up. My head was spinning madly, but that didn't stop me.
Slowly, but surely I crawled up on my feet.

I felt an object in my pocket. With a frown I pulled it out, holding it under the streetlight.
The small box. The pills rattling inside.
My eyes for fixated to it and my fingers stayed wrapped around it, feeling it's cool surface.

"Fuck you," I cursed, throwing the box away, far away in the dark.
I gasped for air when the container flew out of my hand. It was a bigger step for me than I expected. A weight fell of my shoulders, and my eyes watered again.
I inhaled deeply, calming myself down, staring into the dark after where the box headed.
It was gone. Forever.

Then I turned around and started walking the other direction.
I didn't even hear the container hit the ground.

Brian's P.O.V.

I woke up screaming. My own, loud, piercing scream was filling my ears, filling my head, making me unable to think straight.
I shot up, sitting up straight, my face frozen in a frustrated, horrified expression. I couldn't stop screaming.

It came again.
Again again again again again again.
But this time it was so much worse.
Nightmares. Nightmares. Could they even be called nightmares now?
Those weren't nightmares. This was something indescribable, incomprehensible. Unbearable.