I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

36

Brian's P.O.V.

We came off the stage and headed to our hotel soon. We didn't mess up the gig, but it was all wrong. Maybe the audience didn't notice it, hopefully they didn't, but we felt it very well. There just wasn't the spirit. Fred sang his best, gave his body into it, his amazing piano skills, but the three rest of us knew it just wasn't it. He sure felt it as well.
Deaky rocked it as always, never fell out of rhythm, didn't play a single flat note and danced his way over the stage. But the spirit his bass always gave into our songs was just gone.
I didn't mess up as well. I played everything with my heart and soul, gave everything with it, performed my solos with precision, timing perfection and the crowds went wild over them. But the feeling, the freezing feeling they gave me when I played them any other time, it just wasn't there.
But Roger, his energy and personality, which were always visible in our music, was the biggest part missing. He was an amazing and talented musician, he played perfectly and was on time as always. But his happiness, his excitement, his passion, his love I could usually always hear in what he was playing were now gone. There wasn't his personality.
Our music was special because we were in the music. We had our feelings, emotions and even parts of ourselves, our personalities in it. And today, it was all gone. Suddenly it was just music. There was no 'Queen'. This, what we performed today, was many things, but certainly not Queen. And we all felt it, in one way, or another.

We had our small separate rooms in the hotels, which honestly, I fancied. I wasn't looking forward spending the night, or any more time than necessary with Roger. I wasn't mad at him. Or was I? I didn't know what I felt. And I didn't want to bother with it. Not now. Not today. Tomorrow.
I shut the door close behind me, threw my coat in the corner of the room, which I would normally never do, because it caused a mess, and then threw myself on the bed.

I laid there in between the blankets, staring into the white ceiling, listening only to my breath filling the room. I separated myself from the reality, to have a break from it for at least a while. It wasn't so late yet, and I didn't feel like sleeping. I didn't feel like going out either. I didn't want to read something or go out for a walk. I didn't want to even only move.
Suddenly, I felt so alone. As if it was only me on the whole world. As if I was... many years away.
That's good I should probably write that down.
I forced myself to get up, grasped a pen and a paper. Just as I finished writing the line there was a knock on the door of my room, making the glass wall of silence shatter to the ground.

Roger's P.O.V.

The whole gig I was locked up in some completely different place. I felt completely numb as if drunk, or drugged on some hard shit. The cheering, yelling and clapping the audience made came as if from very far away. The music coming from the speakers was blurred and I had trouble hearing it, and the whole time I was afraid I might mess up because I didn't hear well enough. The lights shining on the stage were blinding me and making the stage in front of me seem as if it moved, as shadows as wild creatures were running over it.
I tried to hold my drumsticks tight and wrap my fingers around them until my knuckles went white to drag me down to reality. No success.
The only thing which kept on shining bright was the figure of the young tall guitarist in front of me. I could see every curve on his body, every detail on his clothing. The sounds of his guitar cut through the bubble around me and as only thing sounded bright and clear. And it was beautiful. The whole show, I couldn't keep my eyes off him.
Guilt, regret and anger inside of me were eating me from inside. Why, why in the bloody earth do I keep on doing and saying those things? Can't I for once think about what I say before I do?

Finally we went off the stage and by the expressions on the other's faces, I could see they thought the concert didn't go well too. We went to our hotel and went to the separate rooms we had as none of us were in the mood to even talk.
Deep inside I felt I needed to talk. I wanted to talk. To apologize, explain, and let myself be scolded for what a prick I am. I kept on walking from one end of my room to another, I just couldn't keep still. But what would I say? How can I say right what I want to?
I just couldn't keep it anymore. I didn't know what I wanted to say exactly. I just had those feelings. Guilt. Sadness. Despair. And love. Deep, enormous love. True love, which could never run out. Love, I realized just now, and still felt that I haven't understood it whole at all. There was still so much to explore in it. My love for Brian.
That was the thing, running through my body, keeping me up. That was the thing pushing me forward and giving me hope. Without it, I would give up months ago. I would give up on my life. He and only he was the only reason I was still alive. He was the purpose of my life.
So I should go up to him and let him fucking know.

I slowly opened my door and stepped out on the quiet aisle in between the other rooms. It took just few steps and I was suddenly standing in front of Brian's room.
I inhaled with my nose deeply and listened to my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I love him. I love him so much. So much that I felt as if I couldn't even hold this much love.
I breathed out and opened my eyes, staring into the wood on the door. My hand slightly shivering, I knocked lightly.

Silence.

Brian's P.O.V.

"Come on in," I called to the door while putting away the pen and the piece of paper with my handwriting on it. The door slowly, haltingly opened, with its squeal sounding piercingly loud in the silent room.
I looked up to see who was my visitor.
Roger.

"Hi," fell out of me, as I was startled. I don't know what I felt at that exact moment. Honestly, I really didn't know. I thought that I didn't want to see him today. That I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't expect him to come here. But here he was, standing in the doorframe, his face pale, and stained with stress, sadness and worry. Was that even a sense of guilt I was sensing?

"Hey," I heard his beautiful angelic voice reply.
"Come in," I invited him once again as he hesitated in the door, as soon as I shook off the moment of surprise.
"Look I-" he started and immediately got stuck in the middle of his sentence. He was stepping from one foot to another, not moving himself inside the room and closing the door behind him.
"I just-" he tried to continue, stuttering.
Finally, he looked up, turning his glorious blue eyes towards me, locking them into mine. His were glistening with tears.
"I'm so sorry I cant even express it. I shouldn't have said it Bri. It's not true. Its not true at all. I love you. I love you so goddamn much," his voice was shaking. He kept on standing there until the opened doorframe, grasping the knob tightly, holding onto it as if he should collapse if he didn't. I froze in shock, staring at him in surprise and didn't not force a single word out of myself.

"I've-I've never loved anyone so much. I don't even know I can love this much," he continued shakily and the first year escaped out of the corner of his eye, and began rolling down his cheek. "I'm just so dumb and stupid and I kept on refusing your offers for help. I don't even know why I didn't that. I know you just wanted to help me and that is so nice of you, and actually; I really wanted your help. I needed. I just- I just- I was unfair to you Bri. I'm so sorry. I didn't even know what I said, I didn't think about it. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Bri, please forgive me. I didn't-"
"Close the door," I interrupted him.
"What?" He stopped and frowned, tear falling down from his eye.
"Close the door," I repeated.
The blonde finally stepped into the room and turned around to close the door behind himself.
"Bri I'm so sorry. I didn't-"
Before he could continue, I stepped close to him, cupping his face with my hands gently, and pressing a kiss on his lips.

After a while I pulled away and lovingly looked down oh his surprised face with wide eyes and blush spreading across his cheeks.
"I-I-" he mumbled.
"Oh shut up, I forgive you," I let out a laugh over his cute shock and surprise.
I kissed him again, deeply and passionately.
"You know I love you," I whispered, hugging him and holding him close.
"You can't love me more than I do you," he replied with a smirk and a wink, placing a soft sweet kiss on my nose, making me blush as mad.

Oh I never imagined I would love this prefect little human being this much. He as my world. My reality. The love of my life.

Aaaaaaaah, I'm here for you fan girls!!!!! And I love drama!!!

Ohmygod guys! Thanks so much for 4K reads, and #9 in maylor! Hope ur enjoying the story so far!

Oh and everyone! Go n read stanningqueen4life and dancing_deaky cause they're absolutely A M A Z I N G and it's very highly possible they're the only thing u need for a happy life.
Oh and stanningqueen4life i live for ur comments man 😆❤️

Oh no, 'no one but U' came up on my playlist rn 😢