I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

41

Roger's P.O.V.

Just a second had passed, and I've already been grasped by the elbow, pulled up from my chair and led by someone to the exit of the stage. I didn't feel my arms neither my legs. Instead I felt as if the aisle which led from the stage to the backstage was filled with an extremely strong wind which could easily sweep us from our feet. Actually, I barely managed not to fall to the ground because of it.
But for some reason, I didn't care about it at all. I was so chilled out as I was never been before. I felt relaxed, calm and happy, wanted to be hugged and kiss someone. I heard my heart beat real loud but real slow in my head, and a smile played on my lips without me knowing about it, or controlling it.

Brian's P.O.V.

Roger was acting kind of weird. All of his movements were very slow, and he made lots of arm gestures totally randomly, as if he didn't control them at all. His walk was as if in slow motion , much slower than usual, and when I payed closer attention, I could see it was also a bit unsure. There was a constant slight smile on his lips, his glistening eyes always mindlessly stared somewhere into the open space. All of this was joined with his silence. He usually wasn't this quiet, especially after a gig.

We were currently in our dressing room, as the show of ours have ended about 15 minutes ago, and we were nearly ready to leave. Me, Fred and Deaky were changing into our casual clothes, whereas Roger was sitting on a bench, smiling, staring with empty eyes into the wall.
"Roger," I called out to him, frowning as I just couldn't keep my concern any longer.
He jerked himself, turning his gaze towards me.
"Don't you want to change?" I asked.
"Oh," he exclaimed, Immediately standing up, and starting to get changed with the speed of a snail.
"Are you alright?" I watched him, and felt the looks of the two other members of the band on me, who surely were glad someone of us finally asked. They sure have had noticed as well.
"Uh-huh," he nodded, pulling on a shirt over his head, grinning the whole time. "I feel great."
"Okay then," I let him be, still scowling though. He clearly wasn't drunk, thank god.
He really did end it. He really did manage to overcome his fears. I tried to ask and talk about this with him a few times, but he never wanted to do so. He always changed the theme as quickly as possible. I understood him. And I was really proud of him, relieved and happy for him, that now he finally felt alright. I was glad he didn't have to go through that torture ever again.
This must have been something with his anxiety. Of course, this problem of his won't just disappear in a day. He still can't be 100% okay already. I had to be as understandable and as helpful as I could be- for him.

Just as I wanted to get him somehow inauspicious out of the room and talk to him in private, I heard the most shocking thing. Out of the sudden, a shout cut through the whole room, making us all stop, and exchange suprised looks. I froze in place, my stomach making a loop and shivers running down my spine.
I heard the voice I hoped I would never hear again.

"Brian!" I closed my eyes tightly, begging this would be just a dream.
"Brian!" The shout came again, much closer and much more intense, when I didn't turn around and respond for the first time.
Oh god why are you doing this to me.
I inhaled sharply, turning around and my gaze falling on her.
Esther.
She had a red coat on, tied with a ribbon tight around her waist. Her black high heel boots were clattering against the marble ground, and her light long hair were flying behind her as she rushed towards us. I noticed she put on a bright read lipstick, smiling so disgustingly sweet, eyes wide, waving with her kind black lashes seductively as she blinked.
"Oh Brian! There you are! I saw your performance! It was amazing," she started chattering, giggling and smiling widely as if nothing happened. She was nearly dancing and jumping around me, laying her hands on me, nearly jumping around my neck and hugging me.
"What are you doing?!" I hissed, pushing her away from me calmly.
"What should I be doing? As soon as I heard you guys are playing here, I had to come and see you! And I had to come and say hi too!" She responded, grinning, stroking her hair.
"You definitely did not have to," I heard Deaky from behind, but at that time I had a different though bugging my mind.
"How did you get past the security guards?" I frowned at her.
"Oh," she chuckled, looking on the ground for a second before staring and winking on me again. "You know me, I think you can imagine," she laughed innocently.
"Oh god," I groaned, taking my head in hands and stepping away from her.
"Why don't you now get out again?" Freddie spoke up, having enough of her by now, as we all did.
"Oh Fred don't be mean! I just wanted to stop by!"
"Yeah, and we already enjoyed way too much of your company. Just-"
"Why are you here Esther?" I interrupted him, facing my ex-girlfriend again.
"Oh I told you already, to-"
"No. Don't lie. Why now? Why here? I told you I don't ever want to see you again."
"Oh Bri," she hang her head down, acting as if she was incredibly sad. "I'm so sorry for what happened that night. You understand it wrong!"
"I think I understand it just right! You're a slut who was just after my possible future money!" I could keep my rage in anymore, and my voice was getting louder every second.
"You know that's not true!"
"Esther, you were living in my apartment, I provided you everything you wanted. I payed everything for you, I bought you everything. All because I loved you and I though you did love me too. You had everything and you still wanted more, and you still cheated. I think I know what is the truth, and I can't imagine more wretched and pathetic thing to do in your life," I spat out, clenching my fists and watching her face getting pale, smile finally disappearing from her face.
"You should be ashamed of yourself," I stabbed a deadly look into her eyes, shaking my head.

She stayed silent. Her next actions caught me a bit off guard.
She stood there, frozen in place, her shoulders hanging down and now, she suddenly seemed very small and weak. I could see her knees under the coat shaking, her face as white as the wall behind her, her lips slightly parted as she watched me with glistening eyes and a broken expression in face.

"You hurt me, you know that," a whisper loud enough for me to hear escaped her mouth.
Only afterwards I realized she knew my weak spots very well. She knew me very well after all. She knew this is my weak spot, she knew that I will start to feel insecure. She knew exactly how will I start feel. Ashamed, pitiful, guilty. She knew me and as always, grabbed the chance to use it against me.
I stuttered, all my anger gone, not knowing what to say. I just stared at her and she stared back, as if stuck in a soundless, timeless capsule.

"Oh fucking shit, I'll hurt you more if you don't get out now," I heard a groan followed by an exclaim. I turned my head and revealed the speaker. It was Roger. His cheeks were burning red with fire and he was stomping towards Esther.
"Are you threatening me? Brian he is treating me!" A shout escaped her lips, gazing at me, asking for me to stand up for her.
"Yeah, I'm threatening you, so what. You threatened me as well. And with the whole 'hurting each other' affair, I thing you still have the highest score. Actually, I'm pretty sure that right now, you are still hurting Brian, and you're doing it intentionally," he continued, frowning and folding his arms as he stepped in front of me.
"What are you saying?! You're talking nonsense!" She was slowly becoming hysterical. The situation was getting out of her control.
"Oh really? Let me clear the facts for you then. You lied to Brian, to all of us actually, but mostly to Brian. You convinced me not to tell him the truth about you, because I'd hurt him if I did. And when he found out you were cheating on him, you confessed. To everything," he turned back at us, shrugging his shoulders. "Ain't that right?!"
"But-" she cried, but roger immediately stopped her. He was raging and he would let himself be interrupted or even stopped.
"Look Esther, everyone in this room knows you're a gold-digging slut, and no one in here wants to spend one more second in the same room as you, or see you ever again. So why don't you just get the fuck out before we call the security."
He moved her gaze from roger to me, gasping for air. She finally threw away her mask, the sweet girl she pretended to be, and now was furious, desperate, offended and unable to believe what was happening to her.
"Brian, aren't you gonna do anything?" She screamed.
"Get out," I answered calmly, folding my arms.
She scowled, stabbing us all with deadly looks, before turning around and running away, cursing loudly the whole time.

When she was gone, I felt a wave of realized and relax. With a smile, I grasped roger in front of me by the shoulders, turning him gently towards me. He looked up at me, his beautiful light blue eyes shining, punk blush spreading on his cheeks.
"Thanks you," I whispered, pulling him closer into a hug, wrapping my arms around him, not ripping my eyes from his.
"No problem," he replied quietly, smiling. "For you everything. And that bitch so deserved it."
I let out a laugh.
"Come here," I leaned down, locking our lips, kissing him deeply and passionately.

As soon as I did so, I heard a sudden shriek behind my back.
Oh shit. Fred and Deaks.
I shot up straight, and both me and Rog blushed madly, staring at Deaky and Fred who meanwhile stared at us.
"I'm sorry, I could stop it," the singer pressed a palm of his hand over his mouth, eyes wide, nearly the size of tennis balls.
"Oh my shit," Deaky got out of himself frozen in suprise, blushing probably more than us.

I chuckled, turning back to the gorgeous blonde, who I still held in my arms.
"I'm sorry."
"No problem. At least they know," he gave me the sweetest smile in the history of smiled, stepping on his tiptoes, and placing a kiss on my lips afterwards.

oH mY sHiT thANkS fOr thE 6k rEaDS