Roger's P.O.V.
"-oh, and then, the main rhythm would come. It would start by the piano, the melody, and then the drums would join," we heard and energetic chatter from the kitchen as I and Brian were coming down the stairs. I immediately recognized the voice of the singer, and honestly, it was a relief to hear him so happy. The whole previous day, he was in a really bad mood, and made very clear he was still pissed of by angry silence- yeah, he really can make his silence angry. I exchanged a surprised look with my lover behind me, just before stepping into the room.
"Good morning," we greeted the two other band mates in the kitchen.
"Hi," Deaky replied, smiling, from his spot by the counter.
"Hey my lovelies," Fred exclaimed. "I had an idea for a song. I'm just explaining it to Deaks here. It's gonna be big."
"You're not in such a bad mood as I would expect. What happened?" I frowned, grasping a cup of coffee from the counter, and siting by the table.
"Me and Deaks had great sex yesterday night. That can improve your mood very much," Fred replied, sassy as always.
I nearly choked on my coffee, as I did not expect this kind of answer at all. Well I should have. It still is Freddie and I should know by now that any kind of answer is possible from him.
I saw John behind the singer's back, making tea, freezing in place when he heard what he said, eyes widening and cheeks burning red.
"No you didn't," I heard an extremely calm response out of the blue from Brian, before I could even calm myself down a bit. I shot a shocked look at him, he replied just by a smirk, and remained calm.
"How do you know darling," Fred was challenging the poodle man, laying his chin on his hands on elbows and watching him with a grin.
"We didn't hear you."
"I can also be quiet."
"Could you two stop? It's not even true," Deaky spoke up, trying to end this way too uncomfortable conversation.
"Yeah, I agree with John here," I put the cup on the table.
"Alright," Fred shrugged his shoulders. "Anyways, to remind you, we're moving in the afternoon again. Not that far. Just another city."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Let's hope it's gonna go fine," Brian sighed and took a sip from his tea.
I closed my eyes for a bit, and did my best to stop a groan which was escaping my lips. The image of another gig was messing with my insides already now.
None of us talked about the missing feeling in our gig last night. We all just hoped it will turn out alright tonight.
————————-
Again.
Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.
Again it was here. I think I was going mad from it. Twisting my body on the bathroom floor, groaning, crying, ripping my hair out.
I guess I secretly hoped I could do it. I had this naive idea, that I will be able to get out of it. That I will be able to do it. That everything is going to be fine. What a fool I've been.
Now, I wasn't torturing myself because of not having alcohol. I could go and get some just now. I was breaking down because of the despair. Just by now I realized there was nothing I could do. Nothing, except getting drunk every time we had a show, as a fucking drunk. I was becoming an alcoholic. And there was no other chance for me.
I should have listened to Brian. He's the clever one for fucks sake. I should have stopped with it when he said so. Now I've missed my chance.
Brian's P.O.V.
I stood next to the door of the bathroom in the backstage, my ear pressed against the wood as I tried to hear what's going on in there. I knew Roger was in there, I saw him rushing in. Plus, I knew he would eventually head somewhere where he could be alone, and I knew the reason. I could picture what was going on there, and that exactly was stressing me out.
I didn't hear a thing. There was absolute silence. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. With a sigh, I leaned my back against the wall, my head falling back. Oh my poor sweet Roggie. What did you do, that life had to be so unfair to you?
Roger's P.O.V.
The tour continued. We kept on going from one city to another. It wasn't a big tour, only around the UK. We changed a lot of hotels, and I got used to staying at Brian's room the whole time, even though there was always booked an extra one just for me. Fred and Deaky haven't noticed yet, which I really didn't understand.
The feeling, the soul of Queen fortunately returned to our shows. We kept on going to parties after our gigs, enjoying the lives of rockstars. And I still kept on getting drunk before every show. But I've never made that same mistake to get too drunk. Always only enough. That way, Deaky and Fred has no idea what is actually going on.
Actually, I started to convince Brian that everything is getting better as well. I always managed to drink when he wasn't around, so he didn't see it, and thought I was calm before shows because I overcame it once and then it was fine. Yes, it was lying, but he seemed so much happier now when he thought I was fine. He was stressing about me so much back then. Even his nightmares were better now. He still woke up every night, but I woke up with him and hugged him and kissed him until he fell asleep again. And his horror was still smaller and smaller. Yes, I was lying to him, and it broke my heart, but it was for the best- it made him happy. I was willing to make him happy at any cost. Plus, I already was a rotten person. What could make me worse?
"Brian?" I said, turning my gaze to the curly haired man across the room, from the chair I was sitting at. He was sitting by the desk, scribbling down words on a piece of paper. He was writing a new song, but didn't tell me more about it. He claimed it will be a surprise.
"Yes?" He looked up.
"I love you."
Immediately, his face lit up and a smile spread on his cheeks.
"Alright," he chuckled. "I love you too."
I smiled and blushed, hiding my face in the newspaper I was reading.
"And you know what?" His voice sounded again. I looked over the edge of the newspaper.
"What?"
"You're the best person in the world."
I smiled.
"Why?"
"Does it matter?" He shrugged his shoulders. "You are."
"That can't be," I shook my head, folding the papers and putting them down. "Cause I'm pretty sure, that the best person in the whole universe is you."
I stood up, walking over him and sitting at his lap. I threw one of my arms over his shoulders and with the other one held his hand.
"I am the clever one, remember? I must be right," he looked up at me with a smirk. "And-"
Before he could continue, I leaned closer and kissed him on the lips. They were sweet, warm and incredibly soft. His beautiful scent filled my head, making it spin and only his presence, his existence at that exact moment made the whole world stop for a second.
"Nothing you say can change my mind you know," I raised my eyebrows at him when I pulled away.
"And nothing can change mine," he smiled and gently stroked his lips against my cheek.
"When I think about it, when did you, I don't know, start to like me?"
"I've always liked you!" I replied, letting out a laugh. "Otherwise I wouldn't be in a band with you!"
"You know what I mean," he chuckled.
"Why do you want to know?"
"I'm just curious I guess."
"Well honestly, I don't know," I thought out loud. "Probably from the first time I met you. I remember it perfectly. I was walking home from the club I used to work at. And you were out there, playing your guitar in the street. I thought to myself, damn that guy is amazing. And at that time, we were already together with Fred and Deaks, and we needed a guitarist. I knew you were a perfect fit as soon as I heard you for the first time. Then I joined you at the provided empty buckets and there it was!" I laughed. "I think I loved you already then. I just didn't realize it yet."
Brian watched me with his beautiful eyes, lovingly, blush on his cheeks, smiling.
"You are adorable, you know that?" He said, hugging me and holding me tightly. "I will never stop loving you."
"I won't ever stop loving you too," I hugged back, enjoying the warmth of his body.
Out of the sudden he burst into loud hysterical laughter.
"What?" I stared at him, frowning in confusion.
"Ohmygod! How jealous must have you been when I was with Esther! That is why you were so grumpy all the time!" He got out of himself in between laughing.
"Oh god, don't even remind me of that! You can't imagine," I rolled my eyes jokingly, folding my arms.
"Oh," he couldn't stop laughing, wrapping his arms around me, tighter. "I'm sorry I just cant stop."
Even though I wanted to play angry and offended, I could help but smile and let out a giggle with him.
"When did you start to like me?"
"Hm, let me think," he finally calmed down a bit, slightly pulling away. "Well I've always seen you as my best friend, I've always realized how an amazing person are you. I knew it all along the way, from the day that we met- I also remember it very clearly. I was really confused when you started slamming buckets from the garbage as a madman behind my back, before I understood what is going on," he chuckled. "But- I was with Esther then. So I think that the realization must have come just after that."
"Oh that bitch, don't mention her again," I jerked myself with the though of that horrible chick.
"Yeah, she was a gold digging slut."
"Literally."
"Let's not talk about her ever again, alright? It's not really comfortable for me either."
"Alright," I smiled, and pressed a kiss on Brian's cheek. "You're beautiful."
That night, I couldn't sleep. I was laying in the bedsheets, next to Brian's warm body. I heard his breath, filling the room, felt it running over my nose. The moon was shining in the room through the window, falling on Brian's cheeks. I watched his peaceful face, examined every glorious detail of it. Oh he was so beautiful. Just like an angel.
That night, I held his hand. I held his hand through the whole night, as I didn't fall asleep at all, stroking it gently with my thumb. That night, I didn't tear my gaze away from him.
That night, he didn't wake up due to his nightmares.
That night, I completely gave up on trying to stop drinking before shows, and try to deal with my problems.
Guys what the fuck is wrong with u? 4K reads and #7 in maylor??! You know, it's not my bday or anything!
Jk, thank u very very much darlings❤️❤️❤️
Ah that art is making my heart melt