November 20, 2020
It's been so longgggggg
I actually just abandoned this book and took up LETTING GO (if you don't know already, it's my other book. Go read it cause why not? Go read it right now! Yes I am forcing you)
I'm actually suddenly updating for someone dxddyxobrook cause this person has made me happy.
Okay that's it, enjoy!
Don't play dumb, you know this shit is unedited
Star's POV cause I wanna
12:23pm
"What's a color without the Letter E" Logan asks and I look up from my phone
"I know there is so many but because you're asking, my brain is telling me there's none" I say with a small laugh
"Fawn" she says, her eyes not leaving her phone
"Gold" I say "Black" I add, suddenly with the ability to come up with answers
"Thanks" she says resuming what she was doing__ typing on her phone
"Why do you ask?"
"Just a question that came to mind" she says looking up at me from where she laid her head on my legs
"Oh, okay" I say looking back at my phone like I'd been doing all day.
I was awaiting an email anytime soon and it had me anxious every minute it took to get sent and I had to wait for it.
"Your anxiety is making me anxious" Logan says suddenly
"Hmm?"
"Your uneasiness makes me uneasy" she says again and I can't help but laugh
"Why are you talking like that?"
"I have no idea. Anyways what's up? Why are you all nervous?" She asks
"Hm, just waiting for something" I say and she drops her phone, looking up at me
"What?"
"A message"
"What message?" She asks again, obviously now curious
"I can't tell you the content until I get it" I say
"But what is it for? Who is it from?" She asks, trying to get even the littlest bit of information from me
"Can't tell you that either. You just have to be patient till it comes" I say and she frowns
"But whyyyyyy? I want to know right now" she says, a pout on her lips
"I'll tell you when I get it" I insist
"Tell me nowwwww. You know what's it's content is so tell me" she whines
"Logan, no"
"Pleaseeeeeee"
She's so impatient
"You'll know in a minute, calm down" I say and she groans, adjusting her head on my laps
"I hate suspense, just tell me" she says looking up at me
"I can't tell you if it's not confirmed. Wait a while and I'll tell you" I say, looking down at my phone and waiting for the message
"I don't like you" she says with a pout
"You love me" I say leaning down and quickly placing a kiss to her pouted lips
"I don't think I felt that, you might want to try again" she says and a laugh leaves my lips as I place another kiss to her lips
"Let me show you how to do it" she says, sitting up and pressing her lips against mine, her palm resting against my cheek and I kiss her back with no hesitation
"Sit" she says pulling away briefly and I slowly straddle her leg, our lips reconnecting
She bites softly on my bottom lip before pushing her tongue into my mouth, a moan leaving my lips as my tongue meet hers.
Her hands fall to and grip my hips and slowly, steadily, she starts rocking me back and forth on her leg, eliciting pleasure to my core
I moan softly into the kiss as she keeps on, one of her hands sliding to my ass and groping it while the other held onto my hip, controlling my movement back and forth on her leg.
"Oh God..." I sigh as her lips trail down my neck, my lips parted for moans as she made me grind down harder on her leg, my heart beating faster against my chest.
I grip the headboard of the bed, grunts of pleasure leaving my lips as I moved faster, my clit grinding down against her leg as her fingers explored my body, her thumbs rubbing against my now hardened nipples
I bite on my lip, feeling so close to an orgasm, my head thrown back slightly and my eyes squeezed shut
"You look so fucking sexy" she says placing small kisses on my neck before going up to bite lightly on my earlobe and I can't help the moan that resonates from the back of my throat "But I'm going to stop now" she whispers, slipping out from under me and I fall to the bed, my eyes snapping open
"W..what?" I ask breathlessly as she stands up and walks towards the door not answering me
"Wait, where are you going?" I ask
"I'm hungry, I'm going to the kitchen" she says and I blink
"R..right now? Like now?" I ask, my shock and sexual frustration evident in my voice
"Yeah" she says simply, a smirk on her lips
"Like you're hungry right now? At this moment?"
"Yup"
"I just need five minutes" I say and she shrugs
"Sorry, I need food now" she says and my lips part
"But..."
"Maybe I'll be able to help when you tell me what I want to know" she says with a smug smile before walking out of the room
"Logan!" I exclaim and hear her fading laughter
"Oh my God" I murmur laying face down on the bed
********
1:09pm
"I'm not going" Logan says before sipping on the juice in her cup
"Why not? It'll be fun" the person she was talking to on the phone says back and from his tone, it's obvious he really wants her to be there.
Yes, she is on a call with her phone on loudspeaker, laying on the island top as she interested herself with staring down at her juice, occasionally drinking from the glass that held it
"Just don't want to. You go to lame ass parties anyways, I don't want in" she says before looking up at me, raising a brow when she meets a glare
"Come on, there's going to be a lot of people there, a lot of girls" the person says suggestively and she looks down at her phone
"Problem is, I'm a one woman person now? Soooo yeah, have fun though. Bye"
"But..."
"Bye" she insists before hanging up and meeting with my eyes once again
"Why are you looking at me with that dagger shooting glare?" She asks pushing her hair behind her ear
Oh nothing, not because you left me in the bedroom without finishing what you started
"Oh, no reason at all" I say sarcastically and she laughs
"Is my baby upset because she did not get to cum?" She asks with an exaggerated sweetness and I raise my middle finger at her
"Hurtful" she says laughing, walking around the island and to where I'm sat on a stool before standing in between my legs, her hands on the island on either sides of me
"Baby" she says leaning in to my ear "Do you want me to fuck you here?" She whispers and I gulp, cursing my hormones at how quickly they respond to her
"Logan, go away" I say trying to keep up the whole 'I'm angry' facade
"I don't wanna and I don't think you want me to either" she says placing her hand on my lap, slowly moving her hand, raising my skirt up to my thigh in the process
"L...Logan" I murmur, unable to say anything more to denote my 'anger'
I was turned on and she knew it.
There was no fighting her when she'd already won.
"What baby? Do you not want me to fuck you?" She asks her lips placing small kisses down my neck as she busied her hand with slipping into my panties
"Cause the truth is... " She starts, her fingers trailing down my slit and a small moan leaves my lips
"I'd fuck you anytime..." She whispers in my ear and I bite down on my lips, wondering how it is even possible for her to turn me on even more than I already was
"Wherever you want..." She says and a gasp leaves my lips as she pushes a finger in me
"Fuck" I murmur gripping her shirt, my heart beating fast against my chest
"However you want" she says, bringing her finger out and shoving it right back in, a groan leaving my lips
"I just need you to tell me what I want to know" she says taking her finger out of me and from under my skirt
"Wait...oh God, please Logan"
"Just tell me what you wanted to earlier and you'll get that orgasm you obviously need" she says with a smirk before walking out of the kitchen, once again leaving me unsatisfied and riled up
"Why are you doing this?!" I yell, sexually frustrated
I fall for it once, fine, but a second time? What sort of punishment is this?
I grab my phone, checking my email again and I see nothing, a groan leaving my lips. Can they send the fucking thing already before I kill myself?
*********
3:48pm
I can't help the squeal of happiness that leaves my lips as I read the email that had just been sent to my phone
"Is that a shout of joy or a cry for a help? Can I not come ask what's up?" I hear Logan yell from the kitchen and I roll my eyes before running into the kitchen
"You came to me instead, I see" she says feasting on her chips. I swear she's obsessed with chips. "What's up?"
"I got accepted, I got accepted" I say jumping around in joy
"How about you calm down and tell me properly" she says pulling me to herself and holding me still
"Okay, so for the..." I start and she holds my lips shut between her fingers
"No, don't use this overly excited tone with me. I can't understand this one yet so calm down and speak" she says and I nod quickly, eager to tell her
"I didn't tell you but for a while now, I've been applying for jobs and all and then I decided to just give it a shot at this place I've been trying to work in for the longest time and last week, I took an interview and I got in!" I summarize as best as I can, not able to help the excitement in my tone and the fast beating of my heart
"I got in!!!" I yell jumping in her arms and I see a smile grace her face as she stills me again, stopping me from jumping
"I'm so proud of you" she says, pushing my hair behind my ear "I'm really proud of you for finally achieving what you've wanted to for quite a while now" she says and I can't help the grin that stretches on my face
"I know. The smile on your face tells me you are proud of me, I love it" I say pressing a soft kiss to her lips and pulling away
"Is this what you've wanted to tell me all day?" She asks and I nod
"I didn't want to tell you till it was confirmed. Not that I'm calling you a jinx" I say and she chuckles
"I understand" she says "So where is this place?" She asks
"Swift" I say and her smile drops instantly but I ignore it
"Swift?"
"Yeah, it's like the best fashion based company ever. I have applied for a job there 23 times and I got rejected. But, 24th time is a charm" I say excitedly, not feeling the embarrassment I normally would feel when telling someone the number of times I have applied to one particular company
Swift was huge. The clothing line famous amongst the other brands.
To be part of the company that brings fashion trends to life, a company that gives meaning to the term fashion, is just amazing.
Not only am I going to be working there but as a DESIGNER? Oh Jesus
"That's where you applied...shit" she murmurs and I can't help the frown on my face
"What's wrong?" I ask
"Do you have to work there?" She asks and my frown increases a thousand folds
"Why can't I?" I ask
"Um, nothing. It's just..."
"Just what? You have nothing?"
"Just don't work there" she says and I scoff
"Excuse me? Just don't work there? Did you hear me say I have applied 23 times before finally getting accepted? What the fuck are you saying?"
"I'm saying I don't want you to work there. Work somewhere else" she says plainly
"What should I do then? Sit at home for another decade while trying to look for another job opportunity even half as good as this one?" I ask and she rolls her eyes
"Why do you even have to work?" She asks and it takes everything in me to not slap her
"Should I just start learning to be a housewife then? Should I cook and clean for you too?" I ask
"You can't even cook" she murmurs and I roll my eyes in annoyance
"Just a second ago, you said you were proud of me"
"I was but now I'm not. Don't work, you've been staying home, why can't you keep doing that?" She asks and I am tempted to pull on my hair but I don't and instead push down the frustration and anger beginning to rise in me
"What the fuck are you saying? Why can't I keep staying home? Cause I'm spending your fucking money okay? Cause I am not comfortable with spending your own money when I could make mine. It's been 5 months Logan, nearly six, and you have fed me and provided me with shelter which I am so thankful for but you can't just say I should keep living like this. Maybe it didn't seem like it, but I don't like living off your earnings, I don't want to be a permanent freeloader" I say
"I don't mind"
"But I do! I mind, Logan. This is the 4th time I'm getting a chance to work and I know the other three times were not your fault but this time, what's the excuse? Why shouldn't I work? Why shouldn't I take the job?"
"Cause I don't want you to" she says alone
"That is not good enough for me, Logan. That is just bullshit coming out your mouth and you know it. If you have no plausible reason as to why I should not take the job then I will, whether you like it or not" I say, stepping away from her
"I have my reasons" she says pushing her hair back
"Tell me then! Tell me your reasons"
"Can you stop yelling? I'm not trying to pick a fight with you"
"You know what? This is nonsense. I expected you'd be happy and support me but if you're going to be like this, fine. I'll tell the people who would" I say before walking out the kitchen
******
6:12pm
"Can I come in?" I hear and look up to see Logan stood by the slightly opened door
"It's your house" I say, returning my eyes to my phone and I hear her sigh before coming in, shutting the door behind her
"Come on, don't be like that" she says coming to sit next to me on the sofa and I say nothing
"I'm sorry" she says again "I'm really sorry okay? I was wrong and I was stupid to have said what I said earlier in the kitchen, so I'm sorry" she says, still getting nothing but silence from me
"Look, um...I really am proud of you. I'm proud and I'm happy you got a job"
"Should I count to 5? Will you switch then?" I ask with an attitude and she sighs, pushing her hair back
"No, I won't. I actually am proud of you okay? So fucking proud and I know I was being an asshole but I really do have my reasons. Look, it doesn't even matter, it's irrelevant what my reasons are so you go ahead, okay? Work wherever the fuck you want to work and I'll be right here, giving all the support you want" she says and I turn to look at her
"God, Logan I'm not saying your reasons are irrelevant but can I at least know the reasons? Can you just talk to me?" I ask
"It's not important, okay? Just forget it. Work wherever you want" she says and I sigh
"Logan..."
"Please just let it go. Just forgive my attitude before please" she says cutting me off and I nod
"Fine"
"Thanks" she says, placing a small kiss to my cheek before standing up and walking out without another word and I can't help the sigh that leaves my lips as I look down at my hands
When you think things are going good, they turn bad.
In my case, when you think things are going really good, they turn really bad.
It's small now but I can only fear it's growth.
Today was meant to be happy.
Just happy
But how can it be when the one person that makes every day beautiful and so good, so cheerful for me is not truly happy for me?
******
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And read my fucking books (LETTING GO|ALL IT TAKES|PUTTING A RING ON)